fed up n dont know what to do... :'(

[markysmess]

So, my man is having it rough. He lost his brother to suicide last fall, he has two baby mamas who are making our life hell. Neither are cooperating and causing him problems. Hes a recovering alcoholic and today his mom and i had to find him. He has been driving my car for these side jobs that hardly pay a lick and he wont go back to his old job. He keeps giving me these excuses as to why he has been drinking and promises he will stop its just a rough time.. when we found him today, he had no shirt, no shoes, skinned up shoulder, lumped up head, bloody eye brow.. the bar said they cut him off and he fell walking out of the bar looks more like he did a summersalt out of the place. And even worse i picked up his phone and hes been talking to skanks on kik. All are aout of state so i am not too worried about physical. Cheating but it might as well be.. Were supposed to be getting married soon and our baby is due in mid jan. Idk what to do anymore if i leave him he will go off the deep end and all the kids will be without their father.

I never wanted to be a single mom. And he goes crazy about  males being around his kids.. i feel like if i stay and try to help him it could end up okay, as he has quit drinking before for years but all this recent drama has brought it back out and obviously isnt going away. My heart is broken and trust is out the window obviously. I feel like it would be worse for all involved if i leave him but idk if he is ready to quit again. Smh. I know the obvious answer is leave his *** and just be a strong mom and repeat the cycle i was raised with which wasnt to be a crazy baby mama and keep his kid from him and use it as a pawn. I am due in jan and i am scared i have some things going on with my own health. Thyroid issues, borderline low placenta, and i may have a blood disorder.. that alone is worrying me. He has court in the morning and hes going to reek like beer and his face is all messed up.. idk how to calm down idk what to do or how to act. Please understand i have a lot going on. I know a lot of people are/have gone through this. I need insight. Be nice dont judge me. The passed few days i have had periods of minor sharp shookting pains, idk of its stress or my low placenta or what. My baby had a strong heart beat on tuesday. I dont want to think that id be better off with out it. I love it soo much idk what id do with out it ( baby).. please if youve been through this help me. Nobody knows the whole story. Everyone only knows of his drinking. I have to be up for court with him in 5 hrs and theres no way i can sleep right now. :'(

[Huni_b]

he needs to spend time in a treatment centre where he gets medical attention and can speak about his issues. if he finds a way to deal with his brothers death he will not need to abuse alcohol.
he'll have to sober up over a few weeks to fully comprehend how his actions are affecting you and the baby. dont give up on him, but take hold of the situation sooner than later. is there someone who can help you find a treatment centre and take him there? they'll know best how long it might take to get him back on track. good luck girl. Please stay strong.

[Leeshcolley]

You don't necessarily need to leave him, you're being his sole support it sounds like- which would be really hard. You should book him into councilling and go to sessions with him. Men struggle to open up especially if he's lost his brother and turns to alcohol or kik. Try councilling before giving up. Good luck!

[New_mummy]

He needs professional help! Get him proper help. I don't think this is something he will be able to get through without it. You just need to decide if he is worth standing buy during hard times. If this were my husband I would stand buy him until all avenues have been used! But would definitely be getting him treatment

[BABYDOLL774]

Oh ok, it's gotta be hard to be in that situation.  Maybe you could mention treatment but I know people don't like to hear that they need it but seems like he is on a downward spiral and there is only so much you can do especially with your own health issues. I know you don't want to give up on him but he needs to know how his actions are affecting you and your child.

[MaddiesMommie14]

I'm so sorry for what you are going through. If you truly believe you can help him and want to stick it out that is your decision. However, you have to put your child's best interests first, so if his problems cannot be resolved by January when the baby arrives what will you do then? I know what its like to feel like you are someone's only lifeline, there's a lot of pressure that comes with that. It sounds like he may need professional help or an inpatient program to really get on track. You don't have to give up on him completely, but you'll have to set some boundaries and rules if you still want to help him and he be in your life when the baby is born. That does not sound like the type of environment you will want to raise your child in or have those be the kind of memories the child has of his father when he grows up.

[markysmess]

I am worried for him..

[markysmess]

No its not. She got him to come over and was acting irrate, he tried to calm her down and put his hand on her shoulder and she got him for assault even though theres no proof he hurt her or was being agressive. So he is getting sentenced tomorrow. He got a plea deal so its all taken care of.. but idk i dont want to blow up at him but at the same time he needs to know that i am not playing games. Hes lost and idk how to help him find his way again without making him upset or feel like i am against him. :/

[BABYDOLL774]

I'm sorry you're going through such a tough time. Would he be willing to go to treatment? Is his impending court date involve his drinking problem?

[markysmess]

Sorry its soo long.. but idk what to do.. :(