Don't know what to do anymore

[Kanne123]

I just don't know what to do anymore. My husband is a good guy and is supporting and caring when he wants to be but ever since we've started getting closer to my due date in March, he's just been much more distant. We hardly have sex and he doesn't try, he doesn't go out of his way to spend time with me. I have to make the plans. He's always out, not just with friends but work stuff so I can't be mad at that really, I just feel like something is really different with us. It's such a bad feeling. We've been married for over 2 years now, together for 7 and it just seems like pregnant has changed things. It's really hurting me and he's not one to talk about feelings so that's out of the question. I just don't want one of those marriages where it's only about the child, no romance left, no us.

[masquared]

Wait out, things may get better after the baby is...3 months old.
Think about it, we like to think our spouses will Thom we are attractive no matter what but if he got a huge pot belly, like disproportionately, all kinds of acne, and serious mood swings, and was constantly too tired to do anything how much sex would you really want to have with him? Be honesy, don't just say what someone in the movies would say.
Some guys like it, done don't mind, while others are terrified they will hurt the baby, or are just uncomfortable thinking their penis is close to or "touching" the baby, and sometimes it's just hard to be aroused by a woman who is now the exact representation of a mother.
Remember there is give and take too , I went to the bars with my husband on occasion, it was great they usually give you your cranberry juice and selzer for free, and it's fun to joke about your beer belly. It's also important that you have your own activities you enjoy away from him too, especially while you both still have the opportunities to do them without a baby keeping you occupied.

[Kanne123]

Well quick update.. Not sure if good or bad but I'm hoping it was a turning point at least. Last night, I really thought hubby would stay home w me considering I didn't want to go out to a bar and he's been gone for the last 5 nights. Well around 7 he started mumbling that his friends wanted him to meet out. I knew he was saying this to get my approval and I just don't have the fight in me anymore so I calmly said "do what will make you happy". Well I went upstairs to grab something and all of the sudden I hear the front door close and he just left. No goodbye, nothing. He's inconsiderate but this was not like him at all. I broke down. Was so bad that I was throwing up which scares me bc my marriage will NOT affect my prenancy anymore than it has. I texted him and just nicely said we needed to talk when he got home and that I was really unhappy. Well that must have worried him bc he came right home (said he went to I get gas which was clearly not true). He actually said we should talk. He said it wasn't me. He just hates sitting home all the time. We had a good talk about how it just wasn't the same w us and hasn't been in awhile. He agreed. I asked him how he could not he excited for our first child and he told me that he knows he will be when she gets here. We had sex for the first time in a long time and it was a nice connection. I told him I needed to hear he loves me more which he agreed. I hope he wasn't just humoring me but we'll see how things go from here. He doesn't talk about feelings ever so I'm hoping talking w him last night will last.

[hunleaxo]

Honestly. I think we tend to over think things and stress when it's unnecessary. Especially while pregnant. But there is is a lot of change that's about to occur. It's not going to be just you and your husband anymore and maybe it's starting to hit him and that's how he is relieving his "stress" men tend to go awol when they are stressed or unsure about something. The baby will come and things will be difficult for a few months but you'll get back into the groove of things. It's hard for a few months but hey that's what praying is for :)

[Kanne123]

Thanks ladies and thank you very much Valdeze23. I really hope you're right. My emoticons are amplified right now so I feel like every time he walks out the door, I spend my time crying or upset. I will try looking at things a little more positive and hopefully things get better. And to you other ladies going through the same thing, I'm sorry :( hopefully things get better.

[aprilj93]

Valdeze23... thank you cause I am going through this too I'm sure we all are to an extent. Its nice to have mans input

[valdeze23]

Listen ladies,
I know we can come off sideways and like we're not into it. But you have to understand that while you're stressing about taking care of your body we're stressing about taking care of the entire family. We all stress and the wrong words can trigger an argument and we don't know it until we hear it...I'm nit trying to make excuses ladies I'm really not. I can only speak for myself and when I'm not communicating and she says something it's on and its not even her fault.
Marriage is tough it's hard on everyone and you add the stress of pregnancy and it amplifies. I'm sorry you're all going through this but communication is the key.
I hope this helps I know didn't really say ****. But try talking it out and when things heat up take a break from the conversation. That's all I can say.
As for the sex trying something new in the bedroom can help. I haven't had sex with my wife since week 21 and we're at week 30 now but romance doesn't just mean sex passion can exist without sex. Try something new get him a new video talk about ******* (yea say that not sex) and remind him of mind blowing sex you guys once had!

[jaceandkhimommy]

Well I understand.  I love my husband with all my heart but I just dont think he feels the same. Most days are beautiful but the bad ones well the bad ones leave me hurt depressed and upset. We argued tonight and he made the comment he dont know why he married me. I was like wow. That cut so deep. I know I am not perfect but damn. So I dont know we hardly have sex he is distant also. But I want my mmarriage just wonder if it wants me. So believe me I understand

[jaspiker14]

So sorry I'm in the same boat!  I just lean on my friends a lot!