Not really a question...

[ash198611]

Some of you might have read my previous posts about my situation.  I was in the er and told that I was having a miscarriage then the other day my Doctor told me that I'm not but this pregnancy is going to be very risky now I'm on bed rest.. anyway while I was waiting for my lab results the other day a friend said "well at least you know you can even get pregnant. "  that's supposed to be comforting?  I felt like all of pain and sadness and fear I have been feeling during what had turned out to be the hardest moment in my life was completely discounted. I know that people try in any way they can to make you feel better but I think that unless they have gone through the things you go through it might be best to bring you a casserole and just say I'm sorry.

[tfrancis]

I couldn't get pregnant for 15 years. Then I had 3 miscarriages.. So the "at least you know you can get pregnant" wasn't helpful to me either.  I actually considered birth control, something I have never needed. I hope yours is a successful pregnancy,  despite the high risk.

[loveontop2014]

When I lost my brother unexpectedly I heard "I know how you feel because I lost a cousin who was like my brother." Do you know how bad I wanted to punch them in the face?! That is so not the same! I tell people, even if you have lost a sibling, I know every situation is different. We can fathom the hurt and pain, but if one relationship is closer than the other and one set has more siblings and the other lost their only sibling then, to me, it makes the situation a little different. Sure they all hurt, but maybe on different levels? I will never say I know what you are going through because I don't and pray I never will. I will give you my condolences and hope, wish, and pray for the best for you. We are here.

[JulieKuhnert]

I've had like 5 people say that to me so far.  We've been trying for like 2 years, and has a consult with a fertility doctor a few months back. I'm scared of miscarriage, and whenever I mention it, sometimes says, "well atleast you know you can get pregnant".  Not much of a consolation.

[cnmartin1425]

I had a miscarriage recently and heard so many of the cliche things that people say to try to comfort you...."it wasn't meant to be", "it happens to one in three women", or "this is your body's way of telling you something was wrong". All of them had good intentions I'm sure, but I felt the same as you, like they were discounting my grief. It only made me feel worse! I agree, I was like, just say sorry and hug me or something lol. But I'm sorry to hear you're going through this! Prayers for a successful pregnancy!

[melse]

I'm sorry that you're not out of the woods yet, but I do hope that everything goes well. How far along are you?

[giraffe1020]

Yes people think they are being helpful by seeing the silver lining and she meant well. What you really needed was validation of your feelings, rather than hearing something that says "count your blessings." Although that helps in some situations, in loss it does not. Losing someone you love is one of the hardest things a person can go through and its devastating really. Someone that has never had a loss can have a hard time finding the right words. However, I'm sorry and do you need anything are all you need or want to hear when they have never experienced it.

[ash198611]

But I will say that the people in this group that have commented on my posts about all of this have really been so much more comforting and supportive than a lot of the people I actually know and see every day.