Worried about OH

[mummy_sniff]

Hi all

Im going out if my mind a bit about this :/

My boyfriend is an amazing man. He understands about everything Im going through with pregnancy and has been nothing but helpful and loving, helping with dinners and cleaning up as well as doing a full day at work and sorting out bills. He is looking out for me constantly and rings me when hes at work to make sure Im ok and hes been reading up on what to expect during pregnancy, what to do when I go into labour, booking a stork walk at the hospital and reading up on how to take care of a newborn. I know he will be a fantastic dad and makes me very happy.

So today Ive been cleaning the house and was clearing junk out if the bedroom. OH is diabetic and sometimes wakes up in the middle of the night with low blood sugar so has emergancy chocolate in his bedside table but with it being the middle of the night he just puts the wrapper in the bed side table and forgets to throw them. So I went to clear out all the wrappers and found a small plastic bag with a bit of white powder in it.

Before we got together he used to hang around with the wrong kinds of people but had now shunned them out of his life as he knows they werent really friends and they just wanted his money and his life was being affected by the drug taking and got clean. So I know he used to do cocaine and I said if he ever gets into drugs again I do not want to be a part of it and will leave but is now very much a changed man so I was absolutely mortified to find this. I talked to him about it and he was shocked and said he swore it must have been there from a long time ago because he is totally clean.
I have to admit there are no signs of him using (paranoia, stuffy nose, breathing difficulties, dialated pupils, being high and then low etc) so Im inclined to believe him. But we have our little boy coming in less than 3 months and Im worried to believe him and it be a lie. I will not have my little boy live in a house and be in a family where his dad is a drug abuser.

What would you do?

[selflynn]

So happy to hear!

[mummy_sniff]

Thanks all for your advice :)

UPDATE: When I showed him it he flushed it himself immediately without hesitation and said it must have been an old one because he wouldnt dream of touching the stuff again and went through all his old coats and his bed side table to make sure there was none there. He said now we have a little one coming in April hed be mortified if there was anything in the house when the baby came and he'd do anything to make sure his little boy doesn't grow up knowing his dad used to do that. I believe him, just the fact he flushed it straight away and seemed genuinely upset by the fact it was even in the house showed I can trust him.
He said if it wasnt for me he would probably be dead or have lost his house and everything he owned because of that life and never thought hed be a dad and now he has everything he could ever dream of so would never do anything to risk losing everything for something that would have killed him if he hadnt have turned his life around.

Thank you all for your help and advice and not being judgmental. He is a good man who got in with the wrong crowd at a young age but Im so proud of him for turning his life around and becoming the man he is today :)

[mychellefemme]

Just watch him closely. A random drug test would be great. It's all in the approach. Don't make it seem like you don't trust him but that you need the confidence that you're making the right choices in life.

[Brandy_Rae]

Flush it. His reaction while watching it go down should give you a good idea of how he feels about it. If it's old he won't care, if it isn't it probably won't be very easy for him to watch.

I have seen many people struggle with addiction, some overcoming it and others being sucked further and further in. I always try to see the best in people when they say they have over come it, but I also know that sometimes people relapse and can't help it. Give him a chance but keep a close eye on him.

[selflynn]

If you tow have an open communication and understanding I would say you believe him but do tobthe pregnancy and hormones would he be willing to do a drug test. If he has nothing to hide I would say it shouldn't be an issues. However could depending on your relationships a touchy area. Sorry not much help.