husband won't kiss me anymore :(

[xxangel]

hiya i was just wondering if anyone elses husbands actually refuses to kiss them properly (like a real kiss) sorry to much info. We have been married only 8 months and im 35 weeks pregnant :) which we are over the moon about as we have suffered 4 miscarriages..the thing is he says he doesn't want sex becuase the baby puts him off which i understand,but he never wants to get close!! he gives me a little peck but not a proper kiss :( i keep telling him to tell me if its something to do with my mouth but he says its him... im really confused i don't think he fancies me anymore and the other day i cort him staring at two woman as they walked past he has never acted like this before.i try talking to him about things but he gets annoyed and i feel stupid and don't want him to think im nagging and moaning its just he never shows me any affection and this is coming from a guy that was always very affectionate
is our marriage going down hill.........??
any advice and stories would be great
x
chloe

[SoCalTricia]

I could have written your post, I swear. I finally got tired of feeling rejected and, about a month ago, told him how I felt. I told him that I missed how affectionate he used to be, and it made me feel unattractive and unloved because he didn't touch me like he used to. I mean, he still hugged me and everything...but it was more of a hug like he was doing it because he thought he should.  And the sex, when we had it, was more like we were both performing a chore. Well, it opened up a good discussion. And I freely admitted that I know that my body isn't the same. Come to find out, NOTHING is the same. SORRY IF TMI...but he told me that he loves me more than ever...but my vagina doesn't look or smell the same - everything is swollen. He's tired of feeling like he can't "make love" to me, because we can only do it in one position at this point (from behind). He said that even my mouth is different...apparently the hormones cause more slobber, which is why he doesn't kiss me the same. So - even though I'm not happy about the whole thing - at least now I understand. And he understands how *I* feel and is making more of an effort to be affectionate like he usually is. A few days after the conversation - after it kind of sunk in - we both started being a little more light-hearted about the whole thing, and have actually made jokes about my swollen parts ("so, honey, how's it hangin?") and my slobber. LOL. And, funny enough, being matter-of-fact and open about the whole thing - then just accepting it and joking about it - has made us more affectionate toward each other again! It was like the elephant in the room we had been ignoring...but once we acknowledged it, it because so much less of an issue. Anyway...long answer, sorry. But I want to encourage you to tell your husband how you're feeling. Good luck!

Tricia

[xxangel]

hiya wow its made me think differently..i have actually asked him before if it was because i have more soliva as i know we have more and he just says no like im being a nusence :s i think perhaps he's embarressed to tell me as he thinks it might upset my feelings lol :( im going to stop nagging at him now and see how things are.. i hate the fact that nothing is the same.....good for you for sorting it out with your husband, a big thumbs up from me. I wish my husband would let me try and talk to him about it though :(argh well only 5 more weeks left :)i really can't wait
GOOD LUCK FOR IN 2 WEEKS HUN
take care
hope you have a great labour

[SoCalTricia]

That's what I keep saying, too, angel...the end is almost near! And, not that things will go back to the way they were before, but things will begin to settle into a different kind of "normal." You know? And we've found different ways to feel more intimate. Like last night...this is so simple, but it was really wonderful. It was HOT HOT HOT here yesterday and we were both boiling - so we went for a skinny dip in our pool before bed. Left all the lights off. It was a beautiful night - scattered clouds in the sky and the moon was bright. He wrapped his arms around me and I laid my head back on his chest while we found shapes in the clouds. The floating in the water felt fantastic - no pressure on my back or hips. We were touching and so close...but no slobber, and no swollen private parts...and it couldn't have been more intimate. We went to bed still cooled off from the water, and naked...and there was no sex, no mouth-kissing, none of that. Just holding hands and touching feet. If you and your husband could find little moments like that, it can really "recharge" things, you know? I slept better last night than I have slept in weeks! I know that it's almost like "mourning" the old relationship when you miss that intimacy. I wish you luck, sweetie...and know you and your husband will work things out!

Tricia

P.S. Thanks for the well-wishes. Hopefully only ten more days to go!

[xxangel]

aww wow sounds like you had a great night and you have your own pool lucky thing lol :) goodluck cant wait to see pics :)

[Lori10]

I feel I don't have a husband who is there for my feeling(if i do say some thing its my problem) I have so much things in my head and know one to talk to, and  does not wont sex from me  because I'm too FAT. Why I'm still married; oh!!! the kids.I have  a 6yrs old and a 18 days old.Tryed to talk to him does not care....I'm i the only one with a heartless husband.