I need to vent and maybe see if it's just my hormones...

[martinsbride]

Okay, I could be completely overreacting, but this is what is going on.

Back in August, I had to move with the Air Force up to Montgomery, and my guy's best friend (D) finally split with his girlfriend of six years.  The man is 40 y/o, and has never lived alone, and parties his money away.  Martin told him he could have a year to live there and get it together.  

Then I got pregnant.  I'm leaving the Air Force and going home hopefully in March.  D found another girlfriend in November, was going to marry her at Christmastime, and we weren't worried about him staying because he was going to move in with her poor unfortunate soul.  She wised up.  Good for her, bad for me.  D has continued to party his money away (didn't pay rent last month and now owes Martin $1200), and he found out in December that his job is moving to San Antonio in March.  They offered him a complete relocation, all expenses paid, and a bonus to stay on.  Only problem is that this man, who has absolutely zero ties to the area doesn't want to leave the resort town.  He turned them down, figures he'll just continue living with us when I move back.  

I know he's Martin's best friend, but the guy is such a bad influence, and has actually started being mean to me now that I'm pregnant.  I know part of me may be taking things the wrong way, but one way or another, it's ridiculous for him to keep living off us there, when we need that room empty for the baby.  As of now Martin's giving him until the end of June, which gives us just over a month to get everything done after he leaves (and that's another thing - the guy is NOT clean and his cat has thrown up everywhere in our carpet).  I am so stressed out right now.

Am I being mean?  Or shouldn't he save some money and let us have our space back?

[drmwvrjean]

wow, i was just re-reading what i wrote....i hope i didn't come off as mean!!  that was not my intention at all...guess MY hormones are still really out of whack!!  lol

[drmwvrjean]

i agree with what dani has said!!  i don't think it's your hormones at all :)  the thing that bothers me is that your step-father has said not to mettle when it comes to your hubby's friends, but this is your marriage and family and you and the baby have to be put first!!  you are going to be having a baby, and you don't need the added stress of raising an adult child!!  :)  try not to stress and i wish you the best of luck and best wishes!!

[martinsbride]

Thank goodness.  I'm going to try and give my guy a bit of time to deal with this, but if he doesn't, I'll talk to him again.  My step-father says I have to be careful because it's not my place to come between him and his friends, but I'm not trying to.  I'm trying to figure out how things are going to work.

[Dani711]

NO!  You are not being mean!!!  You are 28 years old and pregnant!  When I met my DH he always had a bunch of rodeo guys who would come for a weekend and stay for months...and I had to put my foot down.  I am a grown women who does not feel responsible to take care of someone who isn't going to help themselves.  I would tell him you need to start getting the room ready for the baby and you need the room.  Or just tell him that it is time he finds his own place.  
When I was in my early 20's I let my friends boyfriend rent a room in my apartement...he never paid rent and I felt sorry for him...at first.  Finally I had to write a letter to tell him to leave...It was the only way I knew to tell him without backing out.  Well, all I can tell you is that I didn't realize how stressful the situation was until he was gone.  I can't imagine the stress it puts on you.  The fact that he has a dirty cat is SOO bad for you while pregnant as well.  I am all for helping people and have a big heart, but when it comes to your baby (stress is not good) well, the baby comes first.  Tell him that your dr. said your stress level is too high and you need your space.
I guess I have been where you and and could not imagine going through it while I was pregnant...DH is driving me nuts being home all weekend...and he has done nothing but cook and clean for me LOL!    Best of luck to you...and I don't think it is your hormones...it is him!