Concidering devorce, and I wonder why I'm contracting!

[Momofthreecrazykids]

I posted a journal on my page about me blacking out the other day...I wasn't sure what happened and just thought because I didn't eat adn I was doing SO MUCH housework...


    So just last week, my husnad's Aunt passed away.  For three weeks before that, I stayed home with the kids so he could be there for his family.  something I'd like when something happens with one of my family members. After she pasted, I just found out that my Grandfather in Louisianna couldn't stay at the hospital anymore becuse the doctors didn't give him much time to live.  So just yesterday, he came into town to be with his family.  My Mom called me and told me she was planning on going down lastnight (a Thursday) to see her Dad and she wanted me there.  Well my Husband bowling on Thursday night and this league won't end until after April!!!  I HAVE A BABY DUE IN FEBUARY!!! He told me to take the kids up there when I visit my Grandfather.  WTF??  It's not like he's up to visit, HE'S DYING!!!  I'm not having 3 young kids, screaming, running around and having to watch them instead of being there for my family.  SERIOUSLY, do I file for devorce???  I've been crying for 3 days because of this **** and I'm not sure what to do.  I have no place to go, I don't have a job (only on Saturdays) and I am NOT keeping my kid with their father that they don't even see because she's always out and about.  So funny, he calls me selfish, ******* because the house isn't clean and now I wonder why I've been gettting contractions!! :(  I don't know what to do :(

[leighanne143]

i would pack the kids up and bring them down to the bowling alley one night and sit there as the kids run all around him.  just to remind him of how nice you are to be letting him do all of this extra stuff.  i think by this point now i might have punched my fiance in the mouth and thrown all of his belongings out the window.  

i think you should remind him that he might think counseling is for wimps, but not being a good husband and father is even wimpier.  

[sadiesmommy]

Wow. Men are confusing but I am glad you are going to take the time to try and talk it out first. You need to do everything you can to de-stress and he definately needs to do what he can to help you do that - a premature birth on top of what is already going on would be an incredible thing to work through in addition to current situations. Maybe now that he has had time to think about it his opinion may have changed - that happens a lot with my husband. He answers quick (obvisouly without thinking) and then I spend the day getting all geared up to tell him just exactly what I think of it and he usually comes home or calls and apologizes and things get worked out. Good luck

[Momofthreecrazykids]

He gets home from work about 4:30pm and leaving for bowling at 5:30pm...in that time, he's showering and getting ready.  He gets home at 10:00pm!!!! I really don't know what he was thinking about signing up for this thing.  I know he was drunk and talking to a bunch of his friends about doing it, but BEFORE we planned this pregnancy, I told him no bowling becuase it's always 32 weeks...here I have 19 weeks left and he's got another 29!!!  My Dad called down here lastnight to talk to him about work, and he didn't know TJ bowled...OMG HE WAS PISSED!  Of course being a father, he wanted me to come back home with the kids.  I left home when I was 16 because of past problems that are now solved, so it's just weird if I did go back.  I try talking to him about my feeling aLL THE TIME! You'd think he'd listen, NO!  I offered counciling-NO!  He tells me counciling is for wimps and he'd NEVER get caught in one of those places...so what is he afraid of to talk about?  Why can't he just tell me?  He's just VERY selfish and all over because of BOWLING and me wanting to see my dying Grandfather!!  His parnets won't take the kids to watch them~My parents are an hour and a half away and farmers, so it's just stressful.  We knew we wouldn't get help while I was pregnant or even afterwards, but it's the agreement that TJ and I talked about that's been broken.  We agreed to be there for eachother no matter what, but why isn't he doing his part...???  I'm talking to him tonight and seeing what the heck we can do.  I love him so much, but the actions he does, doesn't help our relationship!! So I'll let you all know what's going on...Thank you :)

[Hope2OneDay]

I don't know what time his bowling starts, but I'd quietly pack the car and just leave him with the kids. Let him take them bowling with him...or let him find a baby sitter while he goes out. Either way, it will forced on him to step up and be a FATHER while his wife is dealing with a family crisis.
Did you mention that "one good turn deserves another" as far as you letting him deal with HIS family crisis by taking care of the kids, etc...??

[KM604]

I guess it's hard because everyone's relationship is different.  But to me, this sounds like a typical guy thing to say/do.  If I were you I would confront him with your feelings.  If he can't understand where you are coming from, maybe you could consider marriage counseling - unless you are feeling like you want out and that won't help.  He needs to realize you have feelings and he needs to be there for you and your family.  I think sometimes divorce might be the first thing that comes to mind when we get hurt, but try talking with him first and he won't change or try and understand, then make your decision from there.  I'm sorry you have to go through these feelings - you are not in the place to hide your emotions!