Unhappy wife

[rr2465]

Hi - any women out there who are having a tough time?  Our baby is due March 18th and my wife is really struggling with her changing body.  Any suggestions for me to help her along?

Thanks in advance.....

[rr2465]

Thanks again for the responses -

The boards that she's been reading have filled her head with the worst situations possible!  She called me at work yesterday worried about how much blood there is going to be?!  

I guess as much as you prepare for the pregnancy (physical and emotional changes, stress, etc.) you never know until you're actually going through it.  I wish I could make it easier for her, but I guess I have to just go along with what she's going through.

Thanks again!

[Irish741]

Maybe you should see if she is interested in joining this forum for a few months. Everyone posts things they are happy and unhappy about all the time. I think it helps to know others are out there too with your same worries. Even if she doesn't post anything...sometimes it helps just to read other people's comments.

[ovaz129]

Well, tell her not to worry... the emotional roller coaster is only for a few more months out of her life.  :)  Although, it might seem like a century away!  

Our neighbors are both tri-athletes and very into health and fitness.  They are also high engery people.  She and her husband would go for a run every morning together when she was pregnant.  Yes, she RAN until about a week before she gave birth!!  She is 5 feet tall and I will tell you what... her body looked like it did pre-pregnancy a week after giving birth!!!  

So, if she was in great shape pre-preggo, she should be able to get her body back right away.  Just be supportive... I know it is really hard for my husband not to loose it with me.  He never says he is about to loose it, but I can see it in his eyes.  Then, it makes me feel so bad... like I want to cry!  Oh the joys of pregnancy!

[AmyC311]

It can be very stressful even when you were wanting a baby...so if this is a surprise for you guys I can just imagine how many different emotions she must be going through. The hardest thing for me has been my mood swings. I suffer that battle internally though because I do realize that I am being ridiculous when I want to go off on someone for the littlest thing. Sometimes I am happy and sometimes I am really sad...it can be challenging to keep your sanity about you when you feel like you are kind of "losing" it a bit.

The best thing to do is to live life as normally as possible. That isn't always easy but if you make the effort then maybe she can take her mind off of things. My husband surprised me by bringing home non-alcoholic beer one day because I was getting so frustrated with football season and not being able to just chill and have a beer. It was nice. I felt normal for a little bit. :)

[rr2465]

Thanks for the kind responses.  My wife is a high energy marathon runner.  Now that we're in the 4th month she's really starting to feel different.  She lucked out  in the first trimester - no morning sickness at all!  But emotionally she's up and down.  Today it was, "I can't believe we are doing this - this is crazy".  I feel bad.  I wish I could help!!!!

I think she sees and hears from so many other mothers that are so excited and loving being pregnant.  She is not and I think that just *thinking* about the next 4+ months makes it worse!

BTW, we're in our mid-thirties so there we felt a bit of pressure to have kids before

Thanks again for the thoughts.

[Irish741]

I agree, pregnancy can be a bit tough. I think this is one aspect of the pregnancy that i have had the hardest time adjusting to. I have been samll all my life and now I am gaining a pound or two a week. It is really hard to step on that scale each week to see the progress. I have to admit when I do my weigh-ins at the doctor's office I get a bit depressed. However, that being said.....I have been doing my part to work out as much as possible and thankfully my husband is joining me so that support is wonderful. I also keep telling myself that only about 7-10 pounds of actual weight gain is fat, the rest is all baby, placenta, etc. Maybe you could find a website that shows how pregnancy weight is distribution to show her that though she is gaining weight that it is not all her. I am not sure what your situation is but if you can help her work out a few times a week and just eat as best as you guys can that should help too. Best of luck!

Unfortunately pregnancy is all about weight gain and selflessness....in the end it will all be worth it.

I hope this helps and the advise from the other ladies too.

[Lachises]

Pregancy is hard.  This is my first.  My husband tries very hard to be supportive but I've realized that some days I'm not going to be happy, no matter what.  I'm excited for the baby but terrified about all the changes in my body and our lives.  I used to joke that having a baby is the only decision in life that you can never take back. Just be supportive.  Remind her that she's beautiful and how appreciative you are for what she's doing.  Tell her thst she's brave and stronger then she thinks she is.  Keep an eye on her also.  Pregnant women can also suffer from depression.  If you get really worried then encourage her to talk to a doctor about how she's feeling.  One of the things that keeps me going is knowing that although I will have a baby forever I will not be pregnant forever.  Take care.