cheating bf - please help

[nadineh1]

Found msgs on my bfs phone last nite of him txtn a girl he met on saturday night. He also texted hus friend sayin he is goin 2 be with her the body on her. Im so heart broken. I just dont know what 2 do. We have already been through hard times in the past and i know if i tell my fanily about this there is no turning back. I feel lost and so hurt. I cant trust him. 17 weeks and 5 days. Please can anybody give me advise.

[1220173935514393887_609_5]

Oh god..i am sorry to hear that and i completely understand what u must be going through. U must be so strong. My bf takes all his respomsiblities of being a bf and a father to be. He is more excited than i am ..dunno why. But trust me girl i can not trust him when it comes to being a womaniser. He is easily attracted to cute girls..and keeps in touch with his old friend that he had sex with and tbh i dont even dare checking his phone in fear of finding something that u did coz i can not control myself.i am not as strong as u. I am weak and scared.

[AnnieBrooke]

I agree with the previous post, except three years is a long time to give someone.  If your guy has cheated, it's time to give him perhaps until the baby is born to decide whether he will commit fully and monagamously to you, and if he won't, it's time to quit.  It is DEFINITELY better to be alone in peace with your child than it is to be in a relationship that is a negative.

[2539471572056379573_20_53]

Hey there. I'm so sorry you're going through this especially while pregnant. My sister had to deal with the same scenario. Every couple is different but if you've had a rough past already I wouldn't expect a whole lot to change. My sister gave her b/f 3 years after their son was born to get it together and he continued to cheat, do drugs, and drink out of control. He couldn't had a job and treated her like crap. I'm not saying your b/f would be that way but it's hard to change a person. Raising a child alone is terrifying but I will say that it's better than raising them in an unhappy/unstable home filled with yelling and crying. I would suggest giving him a chance to explain himself but you have to set boundaries if you choose to stay with him. Be strong. Very soon a child will be looking to you as an example. Make sure you're not setting yourself and your child up for heartache.

[nadineh1]

Thank u so much.

[lorinewmum]

I can understand your frustration, at a time when we're probably at our moodiest, things like this happen. Use the time away from him to cool off. You can allow him to explain his actions without interrupting him (over the phone) but by no means feel obligated to believe him or be pursuaded by him. After someone cheats, the trust is lost. It takes a very strong and committed couple to overcome this. Ask him what he wants and let him know the reality (you and baby are a fulltime job with 100% commitment required) and see how these match up. If he cannot guarantee his co-operation, then you'd best find other ways of taking care of you and baby. If he is serious about ending his foolish ways, he needs to take a more serious, long-term approach like making active plans of marrying you, making a home and life with you and baby and no more 'meeting' other people. Sounds simple but it may be a difficult decision that you guys need to make. I wish you all the best. Please keep baby at the front of this, you should not allow yourself to feel stressed. Whatever happens, baby is on the way with or without your bf in the picture.

[nadineh1]

I was just so angry i flipped out. And left came to my mams. Do you think i should even give him the chance 2 talk? I just feel lik il never trust him again.

[lorinewmum]

Have you spoken to him about this yet?(not that you saw text msgs but about your relationship going fwd, being a family and being faithful to each other). If he isnt fully committed to you and baby, the answer shouldnt be too difficult to figure out. Sorry for sounding a bit blunt..im pregnant and expect my hubby to be present in every way, no half measures. Set some strong boundaries and make your needs heard.