Aa
Can't catch a break :(
My fiance and his grandfather apparently think because I'm a women I need to do all of the cooking cleaning and housework alone... Plus take care of my 4 yr old which obviously I don't mind but having a little help once in a while or someone saying hey how are you feeling or do you need a foot rub would be nice too.. Or you can go take a nap if u want to. Instead I'm up at 6am every morning packing my finances lunch, sometimes if I am lucky I get to lie down before my daughter gets up.. Hardley ever. Then I'm cooking bfast which I am the last one served.. By this time my bfast is cold.. I pick up the house and am expected to clean alone which his grandpa sits on his butt all day.. Mind u the floor has needed to be mopped bathroom cleaned and I can't use cleaners so of coarse nobody does else does it.. Make lunch do laundry or w. E needs to be done.. Play with my daughter.. 3,4 comes around and Im Exhausted by this time but maybe get to sit for an hr then do dinner.. Clean up.. Shower my daughter after fiance does then I'm last to shower and get bitched at if I decide to go to bed early.. I thought maybe when I was pregnant I'd at least catch a little bit of a break and that hasn't happened at all.. I feel guilty for even sitting down and dozing off for 2 minutes.. I can't even at night bc I get up to pee every hr if I even lie down early I still can't fall asleep till about 2am then get woken up to pack lunch 4 hrs later. Ahh :( Ive tried talking to my fiance but he just doesn't get it.. It makes me sad
You shouldn't use certain cleaning products when your pregnant because it dangerous to your babies health. We shouldn't be passing judgements either. Being pregnant and dealing with a toddler isn't easy no matter who you are and everyone deserves a little rest. Let's try and have some positive feedback.
It shouldn't be that hard to keep house & mind a 4 yr old. I'm sorry bt if ur home all day whether he is tired or not he shouldn't hafta come hm & clean. It should already be done. Y can't u use cleaner's? Medical reason's? Pregnancy can be rough sometimes bt to most of us it's not a handicap. I use cleaner's & have asthma. The only thing I dnt do is our bathroom bc there is no window in there to let the fumes out so I dnt fool with it & my husband doesn't want me to either even with the door open.
Most men are all the same I don't feel race has alot to do it with it, it is more how u were raised. My dad was born in mexico and moved to the usa and he is always very helpful to my mom. My fiancé is the same way he helps out and we split everything equally since we both work even though he works more hours than me. Before when I didn't have a job yes I cooked and cleaned and had the place looking good because I was not working I thought that was fair but he would understand when I was too tired and wouldn't get mad. We used to live with his sister but I made sure to tell them all I will not be washing anyone else's dishes, picking up after them, or cooking. So my advice put ur foot down and stop cooking and cleaning after grandpa. As for ur husband excuse me but your making his baby 24/7 he can help out if he can have a drink with a friend. I say make a list of what you can do for the day that will s t I'll give u time to rest and make a list of things that don't need to get done everyday for him to do. And DO NOT DO HIS LIST AT ALL. once he asks you what's up y isn't it getting done tell him you can't do it all on ur own and u can use the help. Trust me I had an ex who was good for nothing I paid everything cooked everything and cleaned everything u let him get comfortable he ain't ever gonna help.
I feel they could help & u wouldn't feel so overwhelmed. I'm not sure bt it sound's like ur a stay at home mom. If I was I probably wouldn't complain or mind so much tho. One 4 yr old shouldn't be that much of a problem. A schedule should be in place. I did it for almost 4 yrs,it jus wasn't my thing. As for grandpa he is an elder so I'd do it w/no problem & if needed I'd have a talk wit him. However ur obligation is not to him. So if u dnt like it stop catering to him. Simple.
I so feel what u are going threw my husband is the same way I get up early to make is lunch then get are to girls ready for camp then cook breakfast when that's done I rest for a bit then clean the house by time that's over am getting dinner started for 6 ppl I have for help from him and his father on ur days off can y'all clean and let my rest but they dnt see it that way cuz am the female I gotta do everything and I TLD my husband if u can go drink rite after work then ur not that tired I swear were going threw the same thing
Sad to say that Mexican culture is this way. That was exactly how it was with me when I married in my same race but later got a divorce now in married to a white man n it's completely different. . He is so good with me helps not with all but he ties..gives me foot messages even when I Don't ask him to. N he loves picking out all the baby stuff at the store. He even goes on his own to baby r us to buy stuff. N he told me he didn't want me cleaning n getting stressed so we got a cleaning lady to come clean. I know I can still do it but if it makes him happy that If someone else cleans I'm gonna let him. Lol. So I go to the gym instead n work out. Lol but just don't over do it. Do what u can. N that's it. even if they get mad. Just don't let it bother u.
Oh wow yeah I'm sorry but if you live in the house too if I'm not married to you then I'm not gonna act like I am that's just too Damn ridiculous right there. I couldn't deal with that. I feel like they could at least fix their own plate. My husband has pissed me of on Sundays cause sometimes I do t want to cook. But he can't drive 2 blocks to the Mc donalds to get something. I'm like what's next I'm gonna have to feed you too. He takes off hid clothes and leaves them for me to pick up. I'm like I'm not your mother you can at least put you dirty clothes in the basket since I have to wash them. But he don't care!
His grandpa is Mexican, he acts like a child when I don't give him lunch or dinner for instance if I happen to take a nap for once and he's not fed by 6pm he will shut himself in his room and refuse to eat. HHe's a grown *** man he can fix himself something if I'm not available to do so.. I've come to the point I just leave all the dirty dishes there and he can do it cus im getting to feel Un appreciated and taken advantage of, I feel everything should be fair and split equally between all adults not just one person. If I leave stuff on the floor or don't pick it up my husband will even get pissed and pick it up but make sure everyone knows he doesn't like that he had to do it.. I understand he works all day but if he's able to go see a friend after work and drink a beer or go do something he can help clean up once in a while.
We are Mexican so by that alone you know I do it all lol but I already knew I was going to have to. Usually I'm ok and it doesn't bother me but I feel if he has the day off he could at least offer to help me out. And I get a little annoyed when I give him his plate and he's like "you're not gonna eat??!?!?!" I'm like yes I am but I have to fix everyone's food first! I know your pain and I have 2 kids to chase after. Do you have to pick up after his grandfather too?? I would draw the line on that one he can do for himself..
My husband was raised by his grandparents where it was the same dynamic. A different time, his grandmother does it all too. When we first started dating I was like "no this isn't going to fly you're going to help" when we started living together we split up the chores and when I'm tired and need something done I tell him. If he doesn't help then it doesn't get done. I know what it's like to live with someone in that mindset but you need to just take control. Let him know you can't do it on your own and it won't get done period without his help. If it helps talk to your doctor and then your doctor can help bring this up with your husband. My husband was bad about this at first but now he offers to do it all- cook, clean, and make time for me and we both have full time jobs. He also now helps his grandmother, while his grandfather sits on the couch and watches TV. Just be more demanding, your rest and relaxation is just as valuable as his, we live in a different time.
Have an Answer?
You are reading content posted in the Pregnancy: Oct 2015 Babies Community
Get information and tips on how to help you choose the right place to deliver your baby.
Get the facts on how twins and multiples are formed and your chance of carrying more than one baby at a time.
Learn about the risks and benefits of circumcision.
What to expect during the first hours after delivery.
Learn about early screening and test options for your pregnancy.
Learn about testing and treatment for GBS bacterium.
