Frustrated.

[Eevee_moon]

Ok so my sis inlaw told me they wanted to buy us the play pen bassinet thing. I said no it's pricey you can get me something else.. She insisted.. She told me what kind I liked and I told her we can go check me out and I could choose one.. Well there is a big box under their christmas tree for baby.. I know it's the play pen and I appreciate it but that's exactly why I didn't want them to get it for me because I wanted to have a say in the style.. I have 2daughters this is my fist boy.. Now I feel like I'm stuck with something I'm sure is cute but not what I wanted.. Am I over reacting?? and no I'm not a horrible person I do appreciate it, it's a very nice gesture.. But if their was a price limit for them I would of paid the difference.. She told me it's Winnie the Pooh and I absolutely hate Winnie the Pooh I've never liked that theme..  :(

[Eevee_moon]

No I don't I'll look into it. I really do need something more portable to have downstairs that would of been perfect if it was the style we were looking for.

[specialmom]

Boo, sorry to hear.  I had a moses basket . . .   do you know what those are?  I loved it.  I could take it to any room and if baby fell asleep, I'd slip him in the basket and then it had handles and I could carry it.  It was great!

[Eevee_moon]

So my girls opened the playpen on Christmas Eve it was not what we had been looking at bummer. But it was a gift and like I said I won't return it.. My house is a two store I wanted the playpens that have the detachable bassinet so I can easily carry that downstairs. But this one doesn't come with it. :(

[Laladevine]

I'm also a little particular when it comes to my baby's items which is kind of the reason why I'm on the fence about having a baby shower.  

[Melissa_25]

If nothing else you could always buy the one you really want for your house and use the one she got you for her house or when the baby goes to visit grandparents or something. I had a friend give me her old play pen and I wasnt really thrilled on how it looked and my cousin boight me a new one for my baby shower that I was in love with so I used that one for my house and the one my friend gave me for my moms house.

[vsam_88]

Idk I would kinda feel the same I'm really picky with style I don't even like half the stuff I got at my baby shower but its the thought that counts... Ur not a horrible person you know what you do and don't like

[specialmom]

No, you shouldn't have felt bad for your blessing but it is a kind and generous heart that does.  You sound like a very nice person.  

Yes, I hope she gets her baby soon and that your pregnancy goes smoothly and you enjoy being a mama to your first boy.  :>)  peace

[wyattsmom2015]

You are probably not frustrated because you may not like it, it is more likely the fact that you don't know what it looks like.

[Eevee_moon]

Yes she is married to my bro inlaw. They have been married for 3 years now. And she has been trying. I give her advice and try to help her on things I know that would help her conceive. And I felt horrible when I found out I was pregnant not even trying. I don't think I should of felt bad my baby is a blessing.  I even told my husband not to say anything yet . I didn't know how to tell her because I had not been trying.  Well my hubby told  his mom and she told her right away. She called me right away and asked if I had been trying. I felt horrible telling her the truth..  I'm not a dr but finally she found a good dr that has given her better advice and surprisingly it was what I had been telling her all along.  Hopefully she gets her baby soon because being a mom and feeling your baby growing inside you is the most beautiful thing.

[specialmom]

You seem very sweet and sincere.  We DO need to vent from time to time.  I hope it is the one you like and I can tell that you ARE appreciative of the gift but just a little frustrated with the unknown of what she got.  Hang in there.  peace

[wyattsmom2015]

I am struggling to, who would be on baby number six and not be struggling. But I would rather struggle and have items I really want for my first and only boy then get something I don't want. I don't have family to buy for this baby, I did with some of my others but the thoughtful family that bought for the others asked what I wanted or needed for baby. Really thoughtful people want to get what you really want and will ask for a couple options that way they can buy what you want and be in there price range. Buying a gift for someone is about what the recipient would want and enjoy not the gift giver, that is the whole point the giver should get enjoyment from making someone else happy.
I never asked for expensive items when asked because it seemed a little selfish and I knew what kinda budget they were on. If they were on a low budget I said I needed diapers, wipes or clothing. If they could spend a little more I would say stuff like I really have my eye on a certain diaper bag, digital thermometer, bottles or what ever.

It is not rude to be specific about what you want and not want to be stuck with something you hate. It is rude to force something on someone they did not want. When did people forget no means no.

[Eevee_moon]

Thanks ladies. I'm definitely not perfect and I thanked her for it . But I can't help feeling frustrated.. That's why I came here.. I didn't even tell my husband because to him it's whatever. They are just items.. But like I said I had been browsing and told her to let me know.  Maybe I'll love it.

[specialmom]

Hm.  Well, she's probably happy for you but struggles with her own 'stuff'.  Is she married and trying for a baby or anything?  

Well, maybe you'll be surprised and it will be the exact thing you like.  I hope so.  By buying that gift, she is 'trying' whether your pregnancy is a sore spot for her or not.

I have a friend that has a dad who was a professional baseball player.  It's a big family and he always told his kids that the grandchild that was HIS retired number from his team---  THAT child would inherit his house.  Kind of strange I must say.  But none the less.  My friend has 5 kids.  Her number 4 child was in the running to be the number that would get the house.  I don't think it was so much because of the house but the special aspect of the number thing.  Anyway, her sister had the 'special' baby right before hers.  She was happy for her sister but a little jealous.  

So, this stuff does happen in families and maybe her buying the gift is her way of trying to 'get over it' and be loving to you.

good luck

[Eevee_moon]

Well I appreciate it like I said and I'm also stuck with it. I won't return it I do feel that would be messed up. But like a said I didn't ask for it I told them it was pricey and I could buy it.. She asked me which one I wanted and I told her we can check them out.. Besides if I'm not buying it I wouldn't of chosen the exact one I liked if it was too expensive.  I really do appreciate the gesture and I can't help feeling frustrated  I would of liked having an opinion on the one I wanted. I saw some today and I hope it's similar to those at least..  
I've always felt like she is not genuinely being happy for me.. I have two daughters and they are the only grandchildren to his parents and when I found out I was having a boy she actually told me she was hoping I was having another girl so  she can have the first grandson.  

[specialmom]

We used ours for even a bit longer as a porta sleeper like when we visited people and things like that.  But I must say, I really didn't care what color my playpen/porta crib was.  My first baby, I went hog wild and decorated his room with all Pottery Barn stuff--  big area rug, all the bedding, curtains, art work, everything.  I spent a small fortune.  I did have a passed down crib.  But, I look at that bedding now and am like, wow.  Did I really spend all that on a nursery?  LOL  As time passes, baby items are just temporary things and not a big deal for me.  My second son who came right after my first got a much cheaper room.  And you know what/  No one noticed or cared.  But that is just my experience.

I guess some have definite desires for their baby's things but what I do wonder about is the appreciation of these people doing such nice things for them.  Sometimes we take for granted having people who care about us is all.  And maybe I'm all wrapped up into the Christmas season and family ---  but we should never take family that loves us for granted.

Best wishes to all and to all a good night!  :>)  Just giving a different perspective as 'food for thought'.  

[fefesbabynumtwo]

I would just be grateful you have family that can afford to get you things. Some of us moms are struggling and would take whatever we can get.

[wyattsmom2015]

Exchange it to get what you want. I am the same way, I have five girls and this is my first boy. I have certain things I want and don't want to be stuck for a year with someone else's choices and not what I have pictured in my mind. I like pooh bear but to me it works better for girl baby items, never a big item like a playpen. Playpen should be a neutral colored or I even like a couple striped or little circles designs, no animals print and no pooh. That is just my opinion, playpen are used for about a year.

[specialmom]

I just feel bad for these family members that have no idea their gifts are so irritating!

[lkaykirk]

I hear you!and feel the same. Because my sister in law is driving me crazy. It's our first and my husband and I have decorated our nursery and she wants to make something for the room but not ask our opinion.  So so one told me that if I don't like it then I can put it in the closet.

[Eevee_moon]

That won't be horrible. I feel like my husband would think it's messed up.  I'm just hoping that when I open it it's not a bunch of fat mustard colored bears on a green thing. :(

[specialmom]

I think you are making a big deal out of nothing. By your own admission, they've just bought you a 'pricey' Christmas gift with good intentions.  It's just baby stuff hon.  It will be used for a period of time and then you'll give it to someone else or donate it or sell it.  It's not like the family china passed down for generations.  And it's not even like the crib bedding or something decorative.  It's a playpen.  Try not to stress over this and just appreciate that they cared enough to go to that expense.  good luck

[shaylaNicole]

U can go exchange it. I would