Aa
Venting about my MIL
So my husband, our two kids (5 years and 3 months) went to hubbi's parents for dinner and his brother and sister in law were there with their son.
I didnt even get through the door for a minute and she took my baby out of my arms. My sister in law asked if she can hold my baby at the time time i had my son on tummy time on the floor and i said sure i asked if she wanted me to pick him up for her (she's 38 weeks prego) so fine but when the MIL Saw Amanda (SIL) holding baby she got all grumpy and said "you shouldn't be holding him it may be to hard for your belly" and took my son away from her. I was p.i.s.s.e.d i had a headache, i pulled my arm muscle and now she won't let anyone hold my baby she wouldn't even let me change him she said its "her house she can do what she wants" well thats when the s.h.i.t hit the fan
And Sean (hubby) knew i was P.Oed and was gunna have my two cent in.
he didn't stand up to his mom which upset me.
But closer to when we were leaving she was like "i hope you had a nice visit with us" and all i could say or even think off was "it could have gone a lot better than it did." Then she asked to talk to me in the room thats what freaked me out.
She asked "do you not appreciate what i do for you" i responded with "i do but when you take my son out of my arms and won't let anyone hold MY son thats when theres a problem last i checked i gave birth to him, i went through together 1.5 hours of labor so really maybe you shouldn't act like this" and she them told my hubby i was swearing at her. (I never swear at anyone)
Sorry for the long message.
I didnt even get through the door for a minute and she took my baby out of my arms. My sister in law asked if she can hold my baby at the time time i had my son on tummy time on the floor and i said sure i asked if she wanted me to pick him up for her (she's 38 weeks prego) so fine but when the MIL Saw Amanda (SIL) holding baby she got all grumpy and said "you shouldn't be holding him it may be to hard for your belly" and took my son away from her. I was p.i.s.s.e.d i had a headache, i pulled my arm muscle and now she won't let anyone hold my baby she wouldn't even let me change him she said its "her house she can do what she wants" well thats when the s.h.i.t hit the fan
And Sean (hubby) knew i was P.Oed and was gunna have my two cent in.
he didn't stand up to his mom which upset me.
But closer to when we were leaving she was like "i hope you had a nice visit with us" and all i could say or even think off was "it could have gone a lot better than it did." Then she asked to talk to me in the room thats what freaked me out.
She asked "do you not appreciate what i do for you" i responded with "i do but when you take my son out of my arms and won't let anyone hold MY son thats when theres a problem last i checked i gave birth to him, i went through together 1.5 hours of labor so really maybe you shouldn't act like this" and she them told my hubby i was swearing at her. (I never swear at anyone)
Sorry for the long message.
COMMUNITY LEADER
Honestly, you sound like you need a good nights sleep to me. These are kind of petty things to be mad at. An excited mother in law who wanted to hold her baby right away?? Then saying to someone about to have a baby that she shouldn't hold the baby is a little weird but why would you be P. Issed? That is an overreaction. To me, you sound tired and easily agitated.
She may think she is helping with the stopping over. If you don't want her to, then be bold and say "hey, the next two days are not good for your stopping by but you can come over Wednesday." And then on Wednesday when she is there, you can say "tomorrow isn't good but you can come back on Friday if you want." Then you are in control. And you can say you won't be home until X time. I'm sure your 5 year old has things going on that you leave the house for so that is probably legit.
Make your best effort to get along with her. Doesn't mean you have to do what she wants all the time or see her every day but being agitated is a waste of your valuable energy. Unless she is doing something really evil, just set appropriate boundaries and try to get along. Don't call her crazy or get amped up with your sister in law over disliking her. She is the mother of your partner, ya know? That DOES deserve some respect unless she is doing something hurtful (and wanting to visit the baby and hold him isn't hateful in my opinion.) I read a lot of stories here regarding mother in laws and some are completely out of line. Yours sounds pretty mild. good luck
She may think she is helping with the stopping over. If you don't want her to, then be bold and say "hey, the next two days are not good for your stopping by but you can come over Wednesday." And then on Wednesday when she is there, you can say "tomorrow isn't good but you can come back on Friday if you want." Then you are in control. And you can say you won't be home until X time. I'm sure your 5 year old has things going on that you leave the house for so that is probably legit.
Make your best effort to get along with her. Doesn't mean you have to do what she wants all the time or see her every day but being agitated is a waste of your valuable energy. Unless she is doing something really evil, just set appropriate boundaries and try to get along. Don't call her crazy or get amped up with your sister in law over disliking her. She is the mother of your partner, ya know? That DOES deserve some respect unless she is doing something hurtful (and wanting to visit the baby and hold him isn't hateful in my opinion.) I read a lot of stories here regarding mother in laws and some are completely out of line. Yours sounds pretty mild. good luck
My parents used to be like this with me and my son i had him at 19 and i would just say my son my rules you don't like it we will go home and you can come to our hose to see us!!
Ya but the thing with not answering the door i always watch my neighbors daughter while she's at work and she doesnt have a cell phone to text and her husband doesnt want a land line so when i hear the door i answer it cause it might be my neighbor. But if my MIL comes over today I'll try and be nice but may not be so nice. And i also told my mom what happened and she was just like "well you are more then welcome to come to the farm and spend the weekend and take a break from her" and my parents farm is in the middle of no where and they ha e my horses so i mean i can always go for a horseback ride. And my mom adores her grandbabies. But my mom knows everything about my MIL and my mom is tempted to call her and tell her off for me. But I'll see if she comes today. She wasnt to impressed with me last night
I would stop answering the door, she could just hang out in the yard by herself. Or not be home when she came, why not take a few days abd go visit with your mom while hubby is at work? Be sure not to tell her of your plans though.
I made a no call no admittance policy to my house. I informed everyone they had to call first before coming or I would not answer the door. My family all called but his acted like they did not have to do I left them standing outside. His mom even made the comment she did not need to call because it is her sons house. News flash I pay the bills her son don't work. I did not open the door she got mad and said she was filing for grandparents rights (the thing they sometimes allow when one parent is dead and the other has cut off rights to the dead parents family). I asked her if she planned to kill her son also. She was just stupid plain stupid. I had to finally put my foot down but glad to be rid of her. I found a better neighborhood with better schools then found me a good job and said I just had to move and my husband was free to move in with his family that me and the kids had to go because it was better for us. My plan was to leave him there because I could not take his family no more. He took it as we were moving and started telling everyone about our great move. No one knows where we are and I kinda feel like it is witness protection hiding our whereabouts, it is definitely worth the peace from his family.
I made a no call no admittance policy to my house. I informed everyone they had to call first before coming or I would not answer the door. My family all called but his acted like they did not have to do I left them standing outside. His mom even made the comment she did not need to call because it is her sons house. News flash I pay the bills her son don't work. I did not open the door she got mad and said she was filing for grandparents rights (the thing they sometimes allow when one parent is dead and the other has cut off rights to the dead parents family). I asked her if she planned to kill her son also. She was just stupid plain stupid. I had to finally put my foot down but glad to be rid of her. I found a better neighborhood with better schools then found me a good job and said I just had to move and my husband was free to move in with his family that me and the kids had to go because it was better for us. My plan was to leave him there because I could not take his family no more. He took it as we were moving and started telling everyone about our great move. No one knows where we are and I kinda feel like it is witness protection hiding our whereabouts, it is definitely worth the peace from his family.
Ya she comes over every day when he's at work doesnt call to ask me if she can she just stops by and stays until 5 and my husband gets home at 5:30 so I'm basically alone with my kids from 11-1 and the rest she's here and when she's here she says "im here to baby sit so you can have a nap." I was like "uh no i have house work to do so you dont have to stay." And she was like "then I'll take the boys to my house cause chemicals aren't good for the kids" and i use kid safe cleaning products so the kids arent in harms way.
She just.. i don't even know what to call her.
She just.. i don't even know what to call her.
I would move closer to your mom, his mom sounds like she is quite a few cards short of a full deck. I would be a little afraid to leave my children with her. I would honestly tell him unless he wants a long drive he needs to control his mother. She has no right to force herself or her opinions on you and she must give you your space.
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