im I just being emotional.

[lydia1st]

My finance/fathers child wants to hang with friends on new years Eve. Im upset because last year we weren't together and I feel as if this being a new year he should spend time with me and the newborn .I don't know if it's just me being jealous because I can't go out and party and do the things I used to do and drink or is it really need being emotional I feel as if going out is for little kids that are single and you should spend that time with family. he's going to me. He never goes out and it's a tradition in his country because my fiance is not from here he is from Panama but I don't know if he's lying to me so he could just go out.

[RockRose]

Well, our new years eves sound very similar actually.  We don't go clubbing either because it's too dangerous,  but we always either host a small party with friends and games,   or go to one.  I just won't stay home,  alone,  on New Years.

We had about an 8 year run where we stayed in a hotel on the Riverwalk in San Antonio,  so we didn't have to drive and they had fireworks at midnight and it was a blast,  with the kids.

I just think it needs to be marked in some way,  and not as a night like all the other nights.  It's a milestone in the year,  and time to look back and look forward with anticipation.  

So anyway.  I really don't mean to hijack Lydia's thread and hope she's happy with a compromise and can enjoy her evening - not alone.

[specialmom]

I'm the opposite---  I believe a lot of people put way too much emphasis on one night and do dumb things and try to avoid it.  We wouldn't be good dates on New Years.  :>)  Thankfully,  my husband wouldn't drag me to a club or leave me.  

I personally think she is fine to say no thanks.  And if he is a great guy . . .   he would want to spend the time with her rather than OUT out.  

We do things on new years that are family and couple friendly.  We do a house party with friends where we play games and hang out, we have done hibachi grill type of festive dinners with friends on new years, tonight we are going out to eat and to a basketball game with another family.  But the party of a club . . .  Oh lordy.  I've had years of that and wish I could get the time back from it . . .  not my scene.  I don't mind a bar or club once in a while but NOT on new years with everyone thinking it is a big deal to "celebrate'.  

Just my take on it and in fact, lots of my friends don't go out on new years because of traffic, it's a busy night so everything is crowded and a bit more dangerous due to so many party goers having 'too' good of a time.

[RockRose]

Hmm.  Well,  since he goes out infrequently,  and Lydia has also said she's willing to have him go out later,  I think that's a great compromise.

I have a thing about New Year's Eve.  I decided when I was a teenager that I will NEVER not "celebrate" the coming of the new year on New Year's Eve if I'm physically able.  That doesn't mean drinking necessarily,  it means getting with people and ringing in the New Year.  So I did it pregnant too.

And maybe he feels that way too.  And she seems very willing to compromise so they both get what they want.

There will be years where it will be very difficult to go "out" like that on New Years because they will have a small child - although Austin does family new years and families with little ones in tow have a great time.  

[specialmom]

Why would a pregnant woman want to go to a club rockrose?  Why wouldn't a daddy starting a family want a more low key night in honor of his pregnant wife?  Starting a family does and should change extracurricular activities.  I was never one to be following my husband out to a club . . .   just to be with him.  We planned things we BOTH wanted to do on a special occasion night like New Years Eve.  

[RockRose]

Lydia,  you don't have a newborn,  do you? You're pregnant.

I don't know why it doesn't "look right" for a pregnant woman to be in a club,  you just can't drink.  It's your choice not to go out.  As it is,  are you planning to stay up at home til midnight to ring in the new year?

[specialmom]

I think the issue Lady panama is leaving his partner and newborn to do it.  My husband went out many years before kids.  Now that we have kids, we plan something more low key with friends at home.  Kids kind of change things until they are old enough to have a sitter if both mom and dad want to go out.  But, I'm just not into it now that I have little ones.  I'd rather ring in the new year at home and kids my babies and my hubby at midnight than party.  But that is personal choice.

but I would not appreciate my husband going out for new years with buddies rather than being with me.  

[lady_panama]

I'm from Panama and thus is the first I've ever heard about no going out on New Years. As a matter of fact that was one of the things my dad did during the holidays was to go house hopping.

[specialmom]

I think you are very justified in having hurt feelings and wondering what the heck his priorities are.  Partying is more important than his girlfriend and baby? that's basically what he is saying and that is c rap.  I'm sorry, but I don't think that is okay.

I had a conversation with my husband after we had our first child.  It was a real heart to heart.  He'd gone to a basketball game that was the college he has his degree from and their big rival.  big game.  well, basketball games last 2 hours.  He was gone all day with his buddies.  The next day I asked him what kind of dad did he want to be.  I mean, once in a blue moon, okay but I wanted to know if it was his intention to do that kind of thing on a regular basis.  Before I had kids, I had no problem with that as I had my things to do to but once we made a family together, I had expectations of BEING a family.  So, this heart to heart was a question of what kind of dad he had.  What was he like.  And did he want to be like that?  What kind of dad and husband did HE want to be.  My husband sad there and I let him think about it.  And he came to me later and said he WANTED to be there.  He wanted to have his kids know he cared and preferred them to everything else in life.  That he wanted ME to feel that way.  And it really changed his outlook and personal choices.  He became a true family man.  he still goes and does some guy things but there is no doubt what his priority is and loyalty is.  

So, try to have this kind of conversation with your man. Not like they are in trouble ---  but an honest conversation to get them thinking about their priorities and values.  

good luck

[bamagirl89]

My bf wants to go out too and I of want to bring in the new year with him so we have agreed to spend time with each other til about midnight and then he can go out with his friends and I am going to bed lol I ain't a night owl like him. I told him I just want my kiss at midnight as long as those plans stick I will be happy and even more if he just stays with me but ok with it *** long as our plans stick

[lydia1st]

Club dont start till 12 anyways

[lydia1st]

Thank u everyone.  He goes out sometimes, ill c if he c an go out after ball drops then go hang with his friends.  Ill win and so will he. Im feel bec we are finally great this year And have a son on the way that he should spend the new year with me.

[lkaykirk]

Honestly if he doesn't go out that much and it's the 1 time he wants to go ask him to be home at 1. My husband doesn't go out much and I would let him go. But he doesn't want to go anywhere

[jessica0930x2]

I say let him go out! Once that baby gets here you are both going to be tired and overwhelmed anyway. Maybe he is lying because he feels he needs this one last hurrah. I think it is selfish just because you can't go you don't want him to. Especially since you said he never does. But that is just me. You could always do a party at home with your friends..but you still wouldn't be partying. Just my opinion though. You do what feels best for your relationship.

[1683728534505989123_763_5]

My advice would be to talk to him. If he insists on going out ask him to be home by 10pm so you can both bring in the new year together. Hopefully he will be willing to compromise and stick to it.

[LoveCake98]

Wait, you have a newborn and you're 8 mos pregnant?? What?

[173093751077182573_92_5]

I know exactly what you mean.  I am having the same issue this new years.  I am five with him going out,  but he wants me too pick him up before midnight so we can be together.  I feel like I can't go out either. Let me know b if you guys come up with a compromise.

[lydia1st]

Idk if I should let him go or is he wrong? Im trying to b the nice woman but I always check myself to see if im just being emotional.

[LoveCake98]

It would definitely upset me if I had a newborn and he decided to ditch us for his friends on New Years eve.  Sounds like he's pretty immature and expecting you to do the bulk of the childrearing.  Are you the only one getting up all night long too?  My husband would be far too exhausted for an all night party. We take turns getting up all night with new baby. I wouldn't ditch my husband for my friends either. Too much for one person to handle.

Now, once baby is sleeping through the night we would encourage each other to spend some time away from home/being social just to keep us both sane. Still don't think it would be NY's without each other though.

[lydia1st]

Im 8 months. Im so big. It wouldn't look right going to club. Plus I wouldn't feel comfortable

[1683728534505989123_763_5]

Is it possible for you to go with him?