Aa
Need to Vent
Hey ladies, i just needed to vent. I feel so tired and exhausted. My body feels like ive been hit by a train and tryn to recover. The ibprofen is not helping with any of the aches i have. The edema is going away but slowly, so when i stand up and walk around my feet start to swell again. My nipples are so sore and i am actually getting discouraged from breastfeeding, i broke down two days ago and gave her formula during the night shift and she slept longer, when i breastfeed im up for about two hours just tryn to nurse her. Although formula would be so much easier i just feel that i owe this to my DD to breastfeed. I was so weepy when i was givn her the formula. I tried pumping and only got like 1 oz total between both breast. Not to add, me and my fiance are no longer together, he had moved out end of august but was there for the delivery. He has been by twice since ive been home to bond with baby and let me get some rest. Both my sisters, mother and friend are sick and i dont want no guest over if they are sick, so the other people i have to rely on cant stay long bcuz they have children, work etc. so they are more like run errons type of people. I just want to scream, and im starting to feel a little depressed bcuz im cryn more and just feel really down. I feel so bad for my son bucz im so out of it, when he talks to me im in another world and im like un huu ok, thats good and i can tell from his facial expression he feels as if im not payn him any attention, im tryn to get him to spend at least 2 weeks at his dads house so he doesnt have to see me like this, i wanted to go to my moms house after delivery but my mom smokes cigarettes and of course the house smells like smoke often. I do have a bottle of zoloft that my family practioner gave me for depression after the m/c and i have refills on them, she told me to get a refill if i start having symptoms of PPD. I also cant sleep in 2-3 hour intervals during the day when baby is sleep, i just cant, i can only take one nap a day, my body just wont fall asleep.
I have an appt today with a lactation consultant, and only bcuz i want to give my DD the best nutrients possible is the only reason im going out the house or i would be bonded to the bed.
sorry ladies, i just needed to vent to people who may understand what im going threw, my mother always understands me and listens but my sister can say the damnist things at times ughhh, when i tried to tell her how tired etc. i was she said well you wanted a baby. I didnt even continue the conversation i just gave her my grocery list. Then when i try to talk to my best friend she always bring up, you should tell the baby daddy he needs to do this and do that, ummmmm, unfortunately you cant tell grown people what to do and the fact of the matter is we are not 2gether nor livn under same roof and he is going to do what he can when hee can and i cant dwell on what he is and aint gona do bcuz i have two children i have to take care of. She wont be visiting me until i get well, dont feel like her presence around me or baby, especially after she kissed my baby, im sorry, you jusst dont go around kissing peoples new borns, i dont kiss people new borns and when she had her baby she even said how people should not do it but she turns around and do it. Can it get any worse.
I have an appt today with a lactation consultant, and only bcuz i want to give my DD the best nutrients possible is the only reason im going out the house or i would be bonded to the bed.
sorry ladies, i just needed to vent to people who may understand what im going threw, my mother always understands me and listens but my sister can say the damnist things at times ughhh, when i tried to tell her how tired etc. i was she said well you wanted a baby. I didnt even continue the conversation i just gave her my grocery list. Then when i try to talk to my best friend she always bring up, you should tell the baby daddy he needs to do this and do that, ummmmm, unfortunately you cant tell grown people what to do and the fact of the matter is we are not 2gether nor livn under same roof and he is going to do what he can when hee can and i cant dwell on what he is and aint gona do bcuz i have two children i have to take care of. She wont be visiting me until i get well, dont feel like her presence around me or baby, especially after she kissed my baby, im sorry, you jusst dont go around kissing peoples new borns, i dont kiss people new borns and when she had her baby she even said how people should not do it but she turns around and do it. Can it get any worse.
Hey Latrice,
I started responding to this the other night, and my darn computer battery went out in the middle of it!!!! I was so mad!!!
Anyway, I wanted to just say how sorry I am that you are going through ALL of this. I mean geez, it just seems like so much. I always get PPD as well and am taking Zoloft for it. I didn't reread your post, so forgive me if you are already on it. If not, you OB can call it in for you.
I had wanted to say the other day that the best advice I can give you is to only have positive things and people around you right now. Don't worry about what anyone else thinks or says. This time is all about you and your baby so you do what is best for YOU and BABY ONLY!!! And please remember that us September mommies are always here to listen. If you ever want to talk, let me know and I will give you my number if I haven't already.
Take care girl and know we are all thinking of you and praying for you!
I started responding to this the other night, and my darn computer battery went out in the middle of it!!!! I was so mad!!!
Anyway, I wanted to just say how sorry I am that you are going through ALL of this. I mean geez, it just seems like so much. I always get PPD as well and am taking Zoloft for it. I didn't reread your post, so forgive me if you are already on it. If not, you OB can call it in for you.
I had wanted to say the other day that the best advice I can give you is to only have positive things and people around you right now. Don't worry about what anyone else thinks or says. This time is all about you and your baby so you do what is best for YOU and BABY ONLY!!! And please remember that us September mommies are always here to listen. If you ever want to talk, let me know and I will give you my number if I haven't already.
Take care girl and know we are all thinking of you and praying for you!
That's wonderful Latrice!! I'm so happy that everything is finally working out for you and DD!! Keep us posted and if you have anything else troubleing you, please let us know!!
Latrice, sorry to hear about your PPD, I was train wreck myself the first night I came home. I cried for two days because I felt like I was a WORRIER about the baby and SIDS. I had to send my DH to buy a swaddle thing to wrap him on b/c I wouldn't sleep at night watching over Brandon. I am somewhat over it now but it still worries me. Don't worry about your milk. Drink lots of hot chocolate and plenty of water it should help increase your milk, "note this is according to my mother who raised four kids strickly on breastfeeding" LOL. Good luck and let me know how it goes.
TY ladies so much, your the best:)
i went to the lactation consultant and she helped me with better positions to get DD to latch on, and suprisingly, my milk came in today:) so now she is not tryn to nurse for almost 2 hours, i feel a little better now that i can give her breastmilk.
i went to the lactation consultant and she helped me with better positions to get DD to latch on, and suprisingly, my milk came in today:) so now she is not tryn to nurse for almost 2 hours, i feel a little better now that i can give her breastmilk.
Awh Latrice I'm so sorry to hear about your PPD!! I hope that you're feeling better soon and I hope that the Zoloft helps a little bit! Having a baby is tough, not to mention trying to Brestfeed... when I was in the hospital and Owen would latch on and wouldn't stop crying and the nurse asked me if I wanted her to give him some formula, I wanted to brake down and cry because I felt like a failur because my milk hadn't came it yet and the colestrum(sp) wasn't enough for his hungry belly. Not to mention every other nurse that came into the room would say "just keep him latched on, he'll get the hang of it, and he'll get enough to eat..." At that point I just wanted to scream at them, that I know he's not getting enough, other wise he wouldn't be as fussy as he was!!! So thank god for a nurse who knew what I was going through, because without her, I would have been miserable trying to BF a crying, angry baby. The best advice that I can give you is that BFing isn't for everyone, and if you're in that much pain, then suplement with formual and pump during the regural times that you're suspose to be BFing her, that way your supply wont go down and once you get enough stored away, start giving her that, and continue pumping... that way it gives your milk some time to come in!! And once you start getting more than just an ounce combind from both brest I would try letting her nurse. Also the other thing i want to point out is the fact that when you're BF, right from the nipple, your nipples will get more sore then if you pump, because the pump mechinism doesn't directly touch your nipple thus allowing you a little less pain... so I would try that and see if that doesn't help with your nipples being so sore!!!
As for everything else try and look on the brighter side of thing(i know it's hard I delt with depression all through high school and into my first year of college) I mean you have an amazingly wonderful, not to mention beautiful baby girl, that you just gave birth to, AND a son who needs you just as much. I know that it's trying at times(Owen was my first, but I was the first born in my family), but think about how much your son misses the "old you" and how he must be feeling since you've been home and cooped up in your room... It ***** being the first born, but then again it happends and you, the mom needs to think about all of the speical, happy times that you've spent with your son and all of the happy times that you're going to spend with your daughter and son now!!! And probably the best think that kept me going was the thought that no one would want to see me like this, I don't even want to see myself, so then one day at a time I would try to avoide worrying about the small things and conentrait on everything as a whole(for example, if I got a bad grade, I would think about what my final grade would be... as long as it was above a C I was happy) and you too need to find something like that to focus your thoughts on, it will help, but then again it's not an over night cure!!!
So just keep on trucken, you're in my thoughts and prays!!! And I hope this helps, and I hope this doesn't sound offencive, because that's not what I ment it to be!!! Good luck and if you ever need a friend to talk to or to vent all of us September Mommies or mommies to be are here for you!!! I try to cheek this when Owen lays down for a nap, right before I lay down for a nap :) so I'm on here alot!! Again good luck.... and keep us posted!
As for everything else try and look on the brighter side of thing(i know it's hard I delt with depression all through high school and into my first year of college) I mean you have an amazingly wonderful, not to mention beautiful baby girl, that you just gave birth to, AND a son who needs you just as much. I know that it's trying at times(Owen was my first, but I was the first born in my family), but think about how much your son misses the "old you" and how he must be feeling since you've been home and cooped up in your room... It ***** being the first born, but then again it happends and you, the mom needs to think about all of the speical, happy times that you've spent with your son and all of the happy times that you're going to spend with your daughter and son now!!! And probably the best think that kept me going was the thought that no one would want to see me like this, I don't even want to see myself, so then one day at a time I would try to avoide worrying about the small things and conentrait on everything as a whole(for example, if I got a bad grade, I would think about what my final grade would be... as long as it was above a C I was happy) and you too need to find something like that to focus your thoughts on, it will help, but then again it's not an over night cure!!!
So just keep on trucken, you're in my thoughts and prays!!! And I hope this helps, and I hope this doesn't sound offencive, because that's not what I ment it to be!!! Good luck and if you ever need a friend to talk to or to vent all of us September Mommies or mommies to be are here for you!!! I try to cheek this when Owen lays down for a nap, right before I lay down for a nap :) so I'm on here alot!! Again good luck.... and keep us posted!
Oh my gosh I feel so bad for you. I also had a hard time with breastfeeding and while it's better now I wouldn't say it's the easiest thing in the world. When I had an infection I gave Bella formula three times a day until things got easier. It was great because I could get a little more sleep and necessary because my milk supply dropped so low. Don't feel bad for having to supplement!
You were the biggest supporter of my talking to the dr about PPD so I hope you don't sit around like I did thinking you have to suffer in slience. Remember zoloft takes a couple of weeks to build up in your system. I wish I would have started on it 3 weeks ago.
You and I both have older sons. It's been a long time since we've had little ones around and honestly I think that's more of an initial adjustment than it is for a first time mom. It's like I remember everything as being easier. Don't worry you will eventualy get back to a semi normal state and then your son will adjust to sharing mom.
I guess I just want you to know that even if we can't watch the baby for you that people are here to help. Anytime you need to vent the September moms are here to listen!
HUGS!
Nicole
You were the biggest supporter of my talking to the dr about PPD so I hope you don't sit around like I did thinking you have to suffer in slience. Remember zoloft takes a couple of weeks to build up in your system. I wish I would have started on it 3 weeks ago.
You and I both have older sons. It's been a long time since we've had little ones around and honestly I think that's more of an initial adjustment than it is for a first time mom. It's like I remember everything as being easier. Don't worry you will eventualy get back to a semi normal state and then your son will adjust to sharing mom.
I guess I just want you to know that even if we can't watch the baby for you that people are here to help. Anytime you need to vent the September moms are here to listen!
HUGS!
Nicole
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