So stressed ladies...and update on another appt. with Jesse

[chantal21]

Today is one of those days where I am just completely stressed!! I mean...I feel like...I don't even know. Just crazy, keep crying, and can't believe how long I had to wait at the docs to be taken back to a room for only 5 minutes and then get charged 75 dollars. I freakin' don't get docs. I seriously don't! This always happens to me!! Jesse had an appt. because his testicle is very swollen and I wanted to be sure all was well. I have been to the docs waaaay too much in the last 4 weeks. I feel like I am running there at every little thing and feel like a first time parent and you would think I should know things by now!, but they really aren't that little and could potentially be dangerous things. Anyway, Jesse's appt was at 2:30...I arrived there at 2:20pm and was suprised because I usually run 10 min late getting out the door, so I was happy and thought "well then, I should be taken back on time or not long after". When I am late, I usually have to wait 5-10min, then go back. THIS time, I waited an hour!!!!!!!! AN HOUR to just go back to a room and then another 15 min. for the doc to come in the room!!!!!!! Are you serious? Does anyone know how long a 17 month old can sit and wait for, before going completely crazy (or maybe that was me going crazy?) !?!??! Maybe 20 min...seriously. He is good, but not THAT good yet. He was pulling plugs out of the wall (i can only yell at him but so many times in front of other people and then pretend like I am happy and smile at everyone else!!), screaming, then crying, THEN I forgot to bring my pumped milk for Jesse (had the bottle, but no milk!!) and had to BF him there in the office with other people around (I'm not very fond of that and feel uncomfortable, but he had to eat because he started screaming!) So that meant I couldn't just stop feeding him to chase Jeremiah if he ran away without flashing someone with my boob. OH MY....I was so stressed.
I got there thinking I would be in and out and back home so Jeremiah could take his nap, I left the house at 1:45pm and didn't get home until 5pm!!! Talk about a long time out for something that should have taken 2 hours tops! with driving and the appt. I'm just stressed and need to vent!

SO anyway, Jesse's appt. went OK. He has a lot of fluid in his testicle. The doctor put the light up to the normal one and you could see it. But the other one, you could only see the fluid, that's it. =/  
So Jesse has another appt. in Nov and he is going to re-check him and if it hasn't cleared by then, he is thinking he may need surgery. He already has an umbilical hernia, and the doc says it could just be excess fluid (hydrocele) which should clear on it's own, or it could be a hernia and that would require surgery. So  now I have to find someone who can do an ultrasound on it to see exactly what's going on at a good price since we don't have insurance. And if he needs surgery, it's going to cost thousands!!!!! We can't do that right now...I am so stressed out. So hubby is looking into getting insurance for the kids for now, so we will see how that goes. It would be too much to try to get it for all of us at the moment.
I seriously just need a break. My mom lives over an hour away, and I can't keep bugging my MIL all the time for help. I feel terrible, I'm stressed, and I want to crawl in a corner and cry.
Sorry to vent on you ladies. I just can't get a break. Since I was 28 weeks pregnant I was on bedrest, then had Jesse a month early, and now it seems like problem after problem....I am starting to go mental and don't know how you moms do it with 2 little ones so close in age. Some days it's fine, but some days I am so stressed and wish Jeremiah was just a bit older and understood more. Okay...I now have 2 screaming babies...I must go...................................forgive me for venting...this it totally not like me!!! I can usually keep my composure, but today has been a test and I failed.

[Michele, Katy, TX]

Chantal, I wish I had more time at the moment, but I don't.  Baby could wake any minute and I need to make dinner for my kiddos.  Anyway, just wanted to say that I am sorry about everything that you are going through and to let you know that you are not alone.  I feel like I am going crazy often.  It is very difficult w/ a newborn and all the other kids.  And I too am worried about money since I won't be going back to work.  I have no idea how we will do it, but we have to now with so many kids.  So, I am terrified.  That's why we named our little girl Mary Faith.  We are taking a huge leap of faith now and having Mary is what brought about all of these changes.

I will keep you in my prayers and please do the same.  And I swear that I am going to start getting on here regularly again!!!!

[Asking4aMiracle]

Anytime honey!! Just know that it can't stay like this forever!! It will get better!! I know what you mean about stressing over money, we were about to lose our truck, our only means of transportation and my in laws paid us current. Then my mil bought us all of our food when she was on her vacation, then told Jason she was going to send some more money to help out when she gets home, they sent 1500 dollars. We owe them so much. Our water got turned off this morning and I'm still waiting for it to be turned on. I told them, I have a 3 week old son, I need water. He said it will be before midnight... How the he'll am I suppose to clean his bottles, my hands, etc. Kinda got carried away there, my point being, you are not alone!! I only have one little one (here to take care of) and have different issues but stress is stress and we all need support so feel free to vent if you need!! One thing I do wish, for many reasons, is that we were all lived closer, it would be much better giving physical support and help and moments away(babysitting) =)  but this is better then nothing right =) I'm glad things are better for you today and I'll pray little jesse doesn't need surgery!!  

[Latrice414]

Jus wanted to give you a big bear huggg.  My son is 14 so he can help out, i cant imagine two little ones.  I cry when i read some of you ladies post then i feel like im not a lone, im glad i have you ladies to talk to,  I have PPD, anxiety and a lot of anger, my dr recommened i c a shrink:(  (being i have other multiple stressors)  im also on zoloft.  This has been very hard for me,and i feel your frustration.  Dont give up, hang in there.  We are here for you.  Im glad your day is a little better:)  Again, sending you a big
bear((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hug)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) from latrice & trinity

[chantal21]

Thanks Amberlee and Nicole! It's nice to have you girls on here to talk to, vent to, and just get some encouragment. Today, has been much easier. I was even able to clean the living room and now Jesse is napping and I am trying to get Jeremiah to sleep. We have our house torn apart and construction going on, so he has to try to sleep in the living room, not in a crib...this will be interesting! lol. But so far so good today. whew. Now we are stressing because we hope Jesse doesn't need surgery for anything because apparently our 2007 tax return got all messed up and now we owe mega bucks!! Basically everything in our account will be gone for the stupid government. So hubby has to pay that within the month and we are stressing big time...money will not be there and we have 2 kids, a much needed roof being put on our house, and endless bills. Just pray it would all work out. I know it will, it's just tough and I know my husband has enough stress from day to day and with the business and all. AHHH, but I am trying to stay calm so he doesn't go completely crazy. The joys of life and motherhood. ;)
But other than that I have a better attitude today even though I barely had any sleep again. It's somehow very worth it!! =)

[NicMom]

Oh my gosh that's a lot to deal with. Don't get down on yourself I think having two young children is one of the hardest jobs in the world.

How are you guys doing today feeling any better?

[Asking4aMiracle]

Were not just here for advice, were here to lean on each other!! It's perfectly normal to need to vent from time to time and the hubby is usually not the first person you want to run to!! So go ahead and let it out!! I'm sorry you have to deal with all of tht stress!! I hope things start getting better and soon!! I'll be thinking and praying for you and your family!!((hugs))