Aa
Call me whatever *rant*
I'm about to ******* lose it... Ok so... Here's a brief background:
I work two jobs now that I'm expecting and let me tell you I bust my A.s.s to save up every dime for the baby, an apartment, food, EVERYTHING. My boyfriend and I have know each other since our sophomore year in hs, been dating for a little over a year. Despite his bs he's a good man and he's good to me.
The issue: Bf had a good decent paying job for his first two years of college and since he dropped out because he lost his job back in December he has NOT been looking hard enough for a new job. Believe me if he were looking as hard as he should he'd have one by now. Everytime I bring it up he gives me an attitude and the fact that I'm the only one with money he still tries to tell me what to do with my money (baby things, food for myself, a gift for my little brothers birthday). This evening this is the smug *** response he gave to me asking him about job hunting
"if you'd help out some more maybe I'd find one. Ask around do some research send me links help me out more be supportive instead of nagging"
.....uhm EXCUSE TF OUT ME... I've been nothing but supportive but he's a grown man and I'm not his mother so I refuse to do something he can do for himself. He sits around and does nothing but hang with his cousins if he's not sleeping all day.
Sorry it's a lot to read but I needed to vent lol
But tell me....am I bring mean and unsupportive? Or does he need to stop the pity crap and get to job hunting? Thanks :)
I work two jobs now that I'm expecting and let me tell you I bust my A.s.s to save up every dime for the baby, an apartment, food, EVERYTHING. My boyfriend and I have know each other since our sophomore year in hs, been dating for a little over a year. Despite his bs he's a good man and he's good to me.
The issue: Bf had a good decent paying job for his first two years of college and since he dropped out because he lost his job back in December he has NOT been looking hard enough for a new job. Believe me if he were looking as hard as he should he'd have one by now. Everytime I bring it up he gives me an attitude and the fact that I'm the only one with money he still tries to tell me what to do with my money (baby things, food for myself, a gift for my little brothers birthday). This evening this is the smug *** response he gave to me asking him about job hunting
"if you'd help out some more maybe I'd find one. Ask around do some research send me links help me out more be supportive instead of nagging"
.....uhm EXCUSE TF OUT ME... I've been nothing but supportive but he's a grown man and I'm not his mother so I refuse to do something he can do for himself. He sits around and does nothing but hang with his cousins if he's not sleeping all day.
Sorry it's a lot to read but I needed to vent lol
But tell me....am I bring mean and unsupportive? Or does he need to stop the pity crap and get to job hunting? Thanks :)
He needs to find a effing job...what is he gonna do when you are out of work for a after the baby is born...you need to recover a d he needs to be a man!!! He can't expect you to carry him forever!! Your much stronger than I am girl!!!
Thank you and I'll definitely give him a month to get it together. And yes I thought he was depressed but turns out he's not, he's just lazy. And he dropped out because he lost his job because he was paying out of pocket and apparently in CT where we were going to school he doesn't qualify for financial aid. I've graduated and I'm ready to start graduate school and he's just... Slowing me down really I'm trying to be the motivator but I got a baby to support.
Thank you and I'll definitely give him a month to get it together. And yes I thought he was depressed but turns out he's not, he's just lazy. And he dropped out because he lost his job because he was paying out of pocket and apparently in CT where we were going to school he doesn't qualify for financial aid. I've graduated and I'm ready to start graduate school and he's just... Slowing me down really I'm trying to be the motivator but I got a baby to support.
I'm sorry to hear. I am really someone that demands ambition out of a partner. It would worry me when a man sits around and lets you work, pregnant, two jobs to pay ALL the bills. I like an ambitious, go getter. He dropped out of college which would make me so upset. AND, he's now not working. What does he plan to do with his future? Be a couch potato? I'm sure you don't make enough to support the two of you.
So, if he doesn't get it an do, then you can be firm and set the boundary. he has a job in month, THIRTY days or he has to live elsewhere. You are not supporting him like a kept man. He has to contribute or he doesn't get to live there. And stick to that. And talk to him about getting back in college so he has some kind of decent future. Work ethic and ambition are so important!
do you think he is depressed, by the way?
So, if he doesn't get it an do, then you can be firm and set the boundary. he has a job in month, THIRTY days or he has to live elsewhere. You are not supporting him like a kept man. He has to contribute or he doesn't get to live there. And stick to that. And talk to him about getting back in college so he has some kind of decent future. Work ethic and ambition are so important!
do you think he is depressed, by the way?
Even after reading all this and explaining this to him...I'm still angry and he still doesn't get it.
Men are sensitive. Like seriously they can be worse than a woman. It probably bothers him that you're the breadwinner and he's not, but instead of finding a solution he's probably got a pity party going on for himself thinking he's worthless so why bother (or something like that). The fact that he worries about what you spend money on at least shows he's thinking about the finances (maybe). Not saying he's acting right though. As I said, men are sensitive. They need encouragement. A lot. IF this is how he feels, then pointing out that your the one who makes the money only hurts his pride (Sensitive). Anyway, if encouragement doesn't work and he's just being lazy, then he's extra weight that you don't need. You have enough to take care of.
Thank you! And I'm still early in my pregnancy and I don't push myself too hard. If he doesn't get it together by the baby shower in August that's it.
I'd be mad. I say make him get a job. Tell him its either get a job or leave cause my baby doesn't need a dad who doesn't work. And two jobs common girl! Take a break. You need to be resting. Hope everything gets better. Idk where you are but walmart, target and construction jobs are always hiring!
U shouldn't be working 2 jobs he needs to man up and go look for one , like the other girl said that's not a good sign, good luck
I'd kick him out
Thank you so much :)
He needs to help you out. Being pregnant and working one job is stressful enough, I couldn't imagine two!
Hope everything turns out well for you =). Will be praying for you and for your family.
Hope everything turns out well for you =). Will be praying for you and for your family.
Girl he needs to go job hunting. He should be the one working 2 jobs.lol
That's not a good sign. Make him man up or you'll have to carry him in life.
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