My husband is tired all the time as well he starts work at 5am and comes home around 7pm so usually he has dinner if he has anything to do around the house he does it then goes to sleep. Any big projects are done on the weekend but if I need help with anything no matter how tired he is he will help me. At first he would just get home eat and sleep but I had a talk with him and he understood. Talk to your hubby as frustrating as it may be try to keep your cool just explain what you feel.
I'm in pretty much the same situation. I haven't found a good remedy yet. I know asking or telling him to help out probably won't work. Pick and choose your battles with your toddler. I only do things for my children and myself. If he wants to sleep all the time then he will have the energy to wash his own clothes and make his own food.
Tell him get up or get out
Tell him to step up. You can't do it alone, he needs to get off his *** and help you out hunny.
That's really messed yo. Have you talked to him about it?