in a pickle

[lindseybroach]

hey. so it might be just me but my boyfriend today brought up moving in together and said it like it wasnt up for discussion. at first i thought he meant after awhile. but hes talking about before the baby is here. when i graduate and he gets back from basic. i mean i want to be with him and all but i dont know how i feel about this all. and he isnt really acting like its up for discussion. i just dont know how yo react

[lindseybroach]

thank you all for your advice. we did talk it out and it just means we both would have to take on another job. but thank you a lot. were going to wait though because im still in school

[Kaymanchase]

Honestly, I think you should consider moving in together. You made a big step by getting pregnant. You're both going to be having a baby together. You should both be able to take care of it together.

[JamieNVance]

Ya dont jump into marriage. Living with someone shows a lot about a person. I think it would be a bad idea not to live with someone first. I know thats not "traditional" but it makes more sense and doesnt put so much stress if you do want to leave. Ive lived with my bf of 5 years almost 3 years now. I love living with him and have since we lived together but there have been times where i was thinking about breaking up and that wouldve been a lot more stressful if i was having to think about divorce. If anything, move in slowly. Just a couple things here and there. If you like it, move in some more things. I got to a point in my relationship where all my stuff was at our appartment but i had some stuff at my parents if i needed space.

[lindseybroach]

thank you all for your advice. and im iffy about moving in with him because of a past experience. i just want to be on my feet before i try moving in. and he dosnt get home till march but then leaves again in april. im due in April. i mean i do love him to pieces weve been together for awhile but he just recently started staying over night. its just a big step. and im definitly not ready for marriage im only 17.

[maggiemay22]

I don't agree on getting married just because your having a baby or talking about moving in together. If your worried about moving in with him Marriage is an even bigger step than that. Moving in before the baby is born is a good idea because you will have everything step up and the last thing you want to be doing with a new born is moving! Both things are stressful then you add both together equals a lot of stress. But I would tell him how you feel and that it's your choice on what you do. Maybe talking it over for a few Months is the best thing but whatever it comes down to there's no wrong choice unless you do something that makes you uncomfortable just because others feel it's proper! Good luck sweetie.  

[dee7m]

I agree with the first comment. Tell him only if you get married will you allow that.

[mama_2_bee]

My situation was similar to yours but he's not on basic. He wanted me to move in with him cause i was in a bad situation not getting the right care I or our baby needed and he told me I was moving in with him. I had no problem with it. I don't know what kind of situation your in right now but maybe moveing in with the father of your child isn't such a bad idea.

[Tinuha]

is there a major reason why you dont want to move in with him? otherwise depending on how far along you are when it happens i think it might not be a terrible idea. your starting a family with him. if you two have a few months where it would just be the two of you before baby comes it would help you learn how to live with each other and see how you each handle the things that come with living with your partner. And it might make raising a baby together alittle easier if your on the same page.

[RockRose]

Well,  I'd react like hello,  this is a decision we both make.

And I'd insist on being married.