Am I being rude?

[MelliMel18]

Here is the story. My best friend and i were pregnant almost at the same time. I mean we were about two weeks apart. Well two months ago i miscarried, and she didnt. Her pregnancy is going great.  Lately, I have been feeling a bit resentful towards her. I mean, i really do not want to be like that, but i just cant help it, i almost feel as if i didnt like her anymore. I know that is terrible, but every time we talk she always talks about her pregnancy, and her future baby. In a way, i feel she doesnt really consider my feelings.  I am still not over it, and i just wished we can talk about other things other than her baby.  And today, i really got mad at her. We were talking, and just recently she came back from vacation. She made a comment saying, "oh, i wish i can just be on vacation all the time."  I told her wouldn't that be nice. Then she said, "well i will be sort of on vacation in May (which is when her baby is due), but not really, i will have to be dealing with a crying baby.  I told her, "So WHAT", that should be something you are so excited about doing, then she said again, "yeah, but i wont have time for me, I will have to deal with a baby that will be crying all the time." I got so mad and told her, "What are you talking about, be thankful you have something so precious to look forward to. God, at least you have that to look forward to, I lost my baby, and am not even close to being pregnant".  "Just appreciate what God gave you".  I just got so mad that she is already complaining about the baby, ya know. I would of given anything for my baby to live. I am looking forward to being pregnant and being a mom.  Why is it that some women just cant appreciate the gift of getting pregnant, and having a healthy pregnancy?  While women like me, who lost her child, cant stand people who complain about being pregnant or having to deal with a crying baby?  I dont know, am i being rude and selfish?

[loismwallace]

Time will heal and I hope for you the best. Just keep your friends and family close. Don't shy away from them because of your loss. You need them now more than ever. I'm not a real religious person, but I do believe things happen for a reason and you will be blessed when the time is right. I will say a prayer you and yours...

[MelliMel18]

I do not think she meant it on purpose at all. I do agree, she may have been trying to downplay her excitement to try to make me feel better. That is very possible. I am very happy for her, and wish her all the best, and in no way do i wish anything bad. Its just so hard to be around close friends and family that are pregnant , ya know. And its funny, but it seems everyone around me is preggo. My BF, my brother in law's girlfriend, my boss, my co-workers daughter, another distant friend of mine.  It is just so freakin ironic having all these preggo people around you, and whats worse, you I see these people all the time. When i wasn't preggo, no one around me was. Funny how things work out that way. And is it weird to be more upset around pregnant women versus women with babies?  Seeing mom with newborns doesn't bother me as much as seeing someone who is pg.  I guess it is because i have never gotten to that point of being preggo. I am so screwy. I dunno. Time will heal.

[loismwallace]

Loss is hard on everyone, but should others have to walk on egg shells? I hope that your friends comments were innocent, a true friend would not mean you harm, but wouldn't a true friend still be happy for the Mom-to-be. I have suffered many losses, but find comfort in those that I still have including friends and family. Anyways, who ever says the right thing when someone loses a loved one? Just an observation...

[kcs08]

I do want to say I have a rude friend too- after my m/c I ACTUALLY had a friend tell me that she thinks she miscarried once!  She was 5 days late for her period!  WHO SAYS THAT THEY think THEY M/C???????????????????  

I would have thought that she was just trying to relate to me but she is the type that always tries to OUTDO your story...some people are just rude and dont think they are...

[kcs08]

A friend of mine cant have children and when I got pregnant she wouldnt meet me for lunch anymore.  Then she called and said she couldnt come to my baby shower because it would be too difficult to see me!  I was really hurt but I understood.  She still has never met my 8 mo old DD.  I feel sad for the loss of friendship just becasue I had a baby.  We still talk but it's not as often.  I am happy to be a mommy!  I hope that she adopts so that she can feel comfortable talking to me again.  Pregnant women naturally talk about their pregnancies becasue they are excited and it has consumed their life.   I think your friend was trying to downplay her excitment-probably trying to say that she was going to be miserable so that she wouldnt make you feel bad.  Could that have been the case?  
xoxoxo

[danielle72007]

I do not think you were being rude by any means.. When I found out I was pregnant in Feb, another good friend of mine had found out she was pregnant a few weeks before.. I miscarried early on and she continued to have a healthy pregnancy which I was very happy for her, she never once crossed the line with saying things, she was always there.  The sad thing is her baby just died at 9 weeks old before Thanksgiving, due to SIDS.  I actually found out I was pregnant with this baby the day he passed away.  Its hard anyway you look at it.. I feel really bad for her, I don't even have words to describe it.  I've also had two other friends miscarry recently, one was at 16 weeks and the other was just shy of 7.  I know what they go through so I told them to call if they needed anything at all, other than that I watch what I say because I dont know what to say and I remember when I miscarried it seemed like everything people said were wrong and mademe more upset, whether it be oh it just wasn't your time, God didn't want this for you, or you're not ready..