Conception Date

[missdidie]

I went to my gynae today and he said that I maybe 3 to 4 weeks pregnant but are unable to determine as it was still very small (measuring 0.38cm).

My first day of my last menses was on the 4th Dec 2009, and I had sex with my ex on the 11th Dec although he did withdraw prematurely.  I had unprotected sexual intercourse with my husband many times from the 13th onwards...  There was once during the week of 18th when I had experience a cramp on the right pelvic area after intercourse; that lasted half a day, and Im not sure if that is any sign of ovulation...  

I contemplated whether to terminate my pregnancy as I didnt want to complicate things, but the gynae wanted me to wait for another week as according to him, it will be too early and riskier to perform it now.  His reason was that there might be a chance that they might miss it and the baby will continue to grow in the womb.

I wanted a baby desperately and now that has made me think that afterall, the baby could be my husbands...  I need an opinion desperately now as I need to decide whether I should go ahead or not with this pregnancy.

[Elaine Brown, MD]

Hi!
YOU are the one who will have to make the decision, as you are the one who will have to look at yourself in the mirror every morning.  Sometimes the decision is made for you and a miscarriage occurs, that is another reason to wait.
I usually tell my patients that they should not terminate unless they are 100% certain that they are doing the right thing.  You do not sound 100% certain.

If you do decide to continue the pregnancy, you will also need to decide who you think will be the best father, regardless of the genetics.  Who will make the best family partner for you and your little one.  Who can you be faithful to for the long term.

I think a paternity test is nice, but not necessary.  The father is the one who is going to love you and the baby and stand by you through the hard times.  I think honesty is important too, but I wouldn't recommend making relationship changes based upon a paternity test.  I most states, the woman's husband is, by law, the father of the baby.

I hope everthing works out for the best!
Dr B

[missdidie]

Dear Doctor

You are really an angel and God-sent.  Thanks for all the advises, and I am pretty sure now that yes, I will keep this baby, no matter what.  Whats more important to me now, is that afterall, he/she is MY Baby.. and my husband undoubtedly would be the best ever father to my children..

Im not ever gonna repeat such mistakes, I hope..

Anyway, god bless you all..

[missdidie]

Im thinking of that too.   My husband was very excited over the news, but the ex is asking me to reconsider keeping it, eventhough he assured me it wasnt his.  As he was pretty sure he did it safely.  He is just being selfish by keep asking me to abort it.

I dont even know why I was even in this kinda ****.

[msminnie]

Well dont let the baby die for your mistakes..there is always a paternity test.. If you love your husband then stay and tell the truth if you still in love wit ex get a divorce and move on wit him dont let it go on longer cuz the longer the lie the harder to tell the truth... I would personally keep it. I will have my ex take a paternity test 1st if he is the father then...wow I dont know how you are going to move on further with your husband. there will always be something btw you 2... if your ex is not the father then lucky u.. go on with the secret 4 the rest of ur life or still tell but find the right time.