Probably giving up breastfeeding, any words or advice?

[irrelevance]

Okay as most of you may know, breastfeeding has been FAR from fun, or easy, for me.. I talked to my mom about how I feel about some things, and she kind of eased my mind a little bit.. I was feeling guilty for wanting to stop.. And sort of feel like I'm failing. She said that 3 and a half weeks of getting up every 2-3 hours and still trying even after nursing was unsuccessful, to pump and take care of him at the same time, all by myself is a pretty big accomplishment. I did not feel the same way. I saw it more of "ONLY" 3 weeks. I did not ever want to stop trying. I feel like I'm failing him, and my own expectations. And I almost feel weak. I was Soo determined.. I was just wondering what you ladies thought about all of this.. Should I give up? You always have the best things to say.

I'm kind of torn... I am sooo exhausted that I can tell I'm not being the best for Riley that I possibly can be.. And frustrated/worn out from pumping and all of that all the time and trying to stay on top of it constantly. We would likely be much happier, both of us, if I stopped.. I was considering just weaning myself down to maybe 3 times a day, pumping and mixing it with formula, so he's still getting some of the benefits of breastmilk. But I don't know....
Any advice on how I should go about this, or things I can do to ease the pain, etc.?

[JoyRenee]

My sister breastfed her 3 children for over a year apiece; my SIL breastfed her two children (one for over a year). Their children have a tendency to get more sick than my two who were bottlefed. My sister's kids especially have medical issues.

agomez' story is similar to mine. Once I gave my daughter a bottle, EVERYONE relaxed. I stared into her eyes. She was HAPPY, content. I felt like we were finally bonding and loving on one another. I still felt guilty and that I wasn't giving her the BEST... at first. Those feelings wore off. My anxiety and guilt did go away and bottlefeeding was second-nature.

You're doing great! Do what you feel is best (in regards to pumping and using formula). Please know that pumping is not as effective as baby in getting milk out and you may get plugged ducts/mastitis (though you can get that while nursing exclusively as well). And your milk supply will go way down as well unless you are constantly pumping and have a really good pump.

[LosingMyMindInGA]

Huney, I feel your pain.  I was so upset and felt like a failure when I had such difficulty breastfeeding.  I finally realized that there is no harm in breast AND bottle.  bottle for the Evenings or times when i'm too tired and bf'ing other wise.  I had issues with producing enough milk.  Perhaps you could try just supplementing with formula for now and still do some breastfeeding.  It might make you feel less guilty and will allow him to get what he needs from you for a while longer. Whatever you decide DO NOT feel like a failure.  Breastfeeding is hyped up so much that it makes women feel guilty for not doing it...DON'T.  You're baby is getting just as much nutrition and what not from formula and while bf'ing DOES have benefits your child is not gonna grow up stupid or have health problems.  My oldest was exclusively bottle fed...never had a drop of breast milk.  She is about to turn 12 has kept a straight A average for several years...Even won a district spelling bee.  She gets sick less than anyone in my house. Breastfeeding just isn't right for some people and don't let the rest of the world tell you otherwise.  It does NOT make you a bad mom if you choose to stop.  This is your child and your body...you do what you feel is best for the two of you.

[JustMe0925]

Hey girl, you are very strong for doing as much as you have.  I never even attempted to breast feed because I heard to many horror stories and didnt want to go through that.  I never breast fed so I don't know how it feels, but I get up every 3 hours with my lil one to bottle feed her.  Good luck on whatever you decide and I'm sure everything will be just fine!!!

[chitten]

Its personal choice chick.

Not every baby takes to the breast.

My mum had 4 babys who were bottle fed and were all perfectly healthy. Her sister on the other hand breast fed 5 of her children and they were all sickly, snotty nosed and underweight.

I plan to breast feed for the fist 6 months and if i cant i cant. You shouldnt beat yourself up about it

[sfritz]

I believe feedings should be a time where mom and baby can relax and bond. Of course I feel breast is best in most circumstances, there being a few exceptions. One of those exceptions is when you are so overwhelmed and exhausted that you and/or baby can not enjoy the experience. You have provided him with breast milk for three weeks, which is a lot more than some mothers are able to or even try to. Now, it's time for you to do what you need to do to be able to sit back and enjoy him as much as possible. For you if that is consulting a lactation consultant for help, continuing to pump what you can and supplementing, or switching to just formula do it. Do NOT feel like you failed at anything, because you didn't. You sound like a great momma!!
Good luck!!

[luv2bmommy]

just a side note! thank goodness for medhelp. without it there almost every search would take you to yahoo answers, which you need to avoid at all costs when it comes to breastfeeding. some of those people are vicious! anyway you have our support in whatever you decide to do!

[babyscience]

I totally support you and know how you feel...as I have PM'ed you before about all of it.  Definitely start supplementing him with it and you can either mix the two milks together or alternate when you give him a bottle of formula/breastmilk.  My Doc said either way was fine.  You gave it your best and it sounds like you arent getting much when you pump so that also leads to the frustration of it, because you are constantly pumping.  Again that is no bad on your part.  I know how hard it is to stop!  Like we said before most kids out there are raised on formula and they are all perfectly fine!  
You are a very good mom....just remember that!

[Mommy3Girls]

Hey girl. Trying to do both would probably be better for you both. I will say that you arent the only one that has had to deal with this. My situation was a bit different with my first, but when she was born I was determined to breast feed. We tried for about 3 and a half weeks, and I finally had to stop completely because I could not get her to latch on right. (I thought it was because my nipples got so big, but we dont actually know why it happened). Well, by the end of the 3 to 3 1/2 weeks she was getting as much blood from my nipples as she was milk. I was so raw from her not latching on correctly, I couldnt take it anymore. It hurt so bad, and her drinking my blood wasnt healthy. So we put her on formula. When we switched, she was sleeping better, seemed to be more satidfied for longer periods of time, and I was healed up in a week or so. I felt like I was or had failed as well, but once I saw how much better it was for us both after we stopped, I realized I had made the right decision for my little girl. Good luck to you, and I hope you are able to finally get some rest. I think you will be amazed at how much better you and Riley feel when you supplement with a bottle.

[luv2bmommy]

i went for about the same length of time before i sounded like you! i dont know why but for some reason i felt like my milk wasnt coming in right or something. like it wasnt enough. i couldnt even pump, nothing would come out. i cant tell you that i dont regret being able to stick to it... because i do. i gave in because i was scared that the girls werent getting enough, and they kept losing weight, and i freaked out and quit. after i went to bottle, they were much more satisfied and it was just easier. i cant tell you what decision you should make, but i would suggest just sticking with it maybe another week and see what happens. and if you HAVE to switch to bottle it will be fine, dont feel guilty! breastfeeding is not for everyone, i couldnt hang! and my girls are fine. breastfeeding is the best, but if it doesnt work you have to find something that does. have you talked to the nurses with the hospital or even the pediatrician? once Saylar's pediatrician helped me for like an hour try to get the hang of breastfeeding.

[agomez333]

Let me start by saying you are an amazing mom for doing everything you have been doing so far... Iwas 16 when i had my first daughter... She would not latch on and I was so devistated I thought something was wrong with me. after 3 weeks of fighting with her for every feeding, we finally gave up and wnt to bottles. She was the happiest baby I have ever seen after that. No more fussing every time we had to eat and she was gaining weight and was healthy. Looking back I think alot had to do with the fact I was so nervous and then frustrated... Babies sense that in you and it gets them upset. You have to do whatever keeps you at peace and sane so that baby has he best mmmy possible... Good luck to you it sounds like yu are doing an amazing job already...
Oh and just for laughs, my daughter is now 14 and she is still stubborn and insists on doing it her way... But thank God she is still heathy and always has been...!!!

[LauraB78]

Let me start by saying that I am currently pregnant so I have NO firsthand experience with breastfeeding. This is my first child, so mine is really opinion only..

My personal opinion is this:

I am going to try and breastfeed. If it doesn't work for me for whatever reason, then I will discontinue and bottle feed. I am keeping a totally open mind and I refuse to pressure myself. I think we are ALL different and need do what is right for us as individuals..I realize there are health benefits in breast milk. This is why I will try it. HOWEVER, if you are miserable and exhausted and feel like this is sucking all the life out of you, then I think it is perfectly FINE for you to switch to a couple formula feedings, and wean Riley off breastfeeding.

I wish you the best of luck. I have read some of your posts and know you have been having a tough time. I don't think you should be so hard on yourself! You need to be healthy and happy too! A LOT of women don't breast feed for various reasons!! Good luck and do what is right for you.. That's my opinion anyway!

=)

[nikko*ttc]

It is possible that you could use a combo of both. A friend of mine was having a really hard with breastfeeding and instead of giving up all together pumped as much as she could 3-4 times a day and supplemented with bottles. This way baby gets those vital nutrients from you but is eating enough as well. If pumping seems to be going well but is time consuming 3 or 4 sessions a day pumping until your breasts are empty might help. Sometimes small babies have a hard time latching on if your nipples are too large. Have you talked to a lactation consultant. What is their take on the issue. They are quite helpful. You might call the OB office and see if the hospital has one on staff you can come see. They will watch as you try to feed and let you know what is best. Another friend of mine had problems with the baby latching on. Her nipples were so huge that the baby could not get the whole thing in his mouth. This would cause blisters etc. They had some special nipple shields for this and the baby was able to get the milk they needed without causing her pain. If nothing seems to be working, then it is time to make the permanent switch. Your baby's health is what is important. Although, you will probably still be up ever 2-3 hours for feedings at least until they are a little older anyways. I breastfed my first and have been supportive of my sister who had a preemie and is unable to feed directly from the breast. We have gone to the lacation consultation meetings together. Feel free to PM if you need some extra help or some extra support. You are not a failure when you have tried time and again to breastfeed. You always have to do what is right for baby.