OT: a little frustrated

[jdlk]

My husband is slowly caving on starting to have children but.... he says that we will be poor and using "we will not be able to go on trips" and **** like that against me.... we don't go on trips as it is!!  And we are not poor!!  we make very good money - both of us!!!  I just don't know what to say to him any more....I think he is more scared than anything.... aaaaahhhhhhh......

[jdlk]

I would never "trick" him.... but he keeps postponing because he likes his money.  I understand that once you have kids - your money is literally out the window..... But he keeps using stuff against me to force me not to have kids.  I understand where he is coming from, but I don't want to start trying for kids when I'm 30 (personal opinion).  I would really like him to see my side of the coin....  I am ready for kids - so why should I have to wait?  Why should it all be about him... all the time....

[spade22]

It is a REALLY BAD idea to try and convince someone to bring a child into this world when they clearly are not ready.  No matter what the reason/excuse is, it doesnt really matter - you cant push the matter or try and force someone to "cave" over such a life-changing event. Things will happen if and when the time is right.  I know of several people who have tried to trick their significant other into having a child (not using BC when they said they were) and the outcome was disastrous - you dont want to go down that path.  A relationship and bringing a child into this world involves two people (eventually 3), but not one.

[Mumita]

My husband was like that the first 5 years of being married, but he was in grad school, we were living in NYC and we really couldn't afford kids.  Right now that we're more settled down he wants to have kids so its a matter of where you are in life and sometimes you're more prepared than other times.
Now he's 31 and I'm 28 so its a good time and he can't keep postponing it.