Is the baby mine?

[Worrier69]

Need some help with my situation.

Here it goes:  

I made a mistake (im married with children) and had protected sex with a married girl (separated at the time) 2nd week in November.  I spoke to her 3rd week of December since i was concerned about STDs/HIV.  She said she took a blood test 1st week of December because she is pregnant so she is clean.  But now i concerned the baby could be mine.  She told me that she had an u/s done the 2nd week of December and that her due date is 4/21/09 (So end of December would make her 6 months pregnant).  I questioned her why she didnt tell me she was pregnant because her due date means she was already pregnant in November when we had sex.  She says she was still getting her period and went in to the doctor last November because she was sick.  At this appointment she found out she was pregnant.  She missed her November period which was supposed to come at the end of November.

Whats the odds this baby is mine based on her due date from the ultrasound and that i had protected sex?

Could the Doctor by off on the due date after performing the u/s?

Could she continue getting her period while pregnant for the first 3 months since he should have conceived in late July based on the u/s due date?  Im concerned since she did not get her period end of November, the month i had sex with her.

Someone with knowledge please give me their honest opinion and advice.  

[heatherlynn22]

a woman doesn't have to be as big as a house to be 8 months pregnant. i knew a woman who went from a size 2 to a size 4. she didn't even have a pouch or look 8 months pregnant. her baby weighed 8 lbs....she had gained 10 through her pregnancy.

now other women are enormous. i was pregnant with twins. i measured 54 weeks when i went into labor at 34 weeks.

remember every woman is different. just because she isn't huge doesn't mean she's not as far along as the docs say. if she says it's not yours...it's not yours.

and you should probably still tell your wife before she finds out through the grape vine. it'd probably be easier on you if she found out from you and not some random person.

[nsrchofbaby]

In order for this child to be yours, her due date would have to be sometime in late July or possibly later...May 5th and April 22nd should be irrelevant to you. Estimated due dates are only a guess...an educated guess. Ultrasounds are pretty accurate. HCG levels even out and remain about the same after the first trimester if I'm not mistaken so a blood test would do little to confirm conception dates. With all this info, you should be able to come to the conclusion that this child is NOT yours. However, if this girl miraculously goes wayyyyyy past her due date and is still pregnant in late July or August,  you should be concerned. Oh, and it doesn't matter whether a girl "looks" pregnant or not. You can't determine gestation age based on your untrained eye, even doctors can't do that. I'm going on 6.5 months pregnant and only have a visible baby bump when my daughter is in a certain position. So get rid of that idea.

[Vance2335]

Just beause she doesn't look 8 months pregnant doesn't mean she is not. Women can look all different ways.

[Worrier69]

Thanks for your comments.  Yes i cheated and yes i will probably go to hell.  But regarding my questions....

The girl told me its not mine and forget about it.  But me being a worrier, im stressing out thinking it might be mine.  She doesnt look 8 months pregnant.  My guess is about 5.  I googled blood test to determine due date and a couple websites said due date can be determined but its not as accurate as an ultrasound.  

She said she had blood test and ultrasound first week of December and the due date given to her was 5/5/09 and 4/22/09.  So she said her blood test on 2/7/09 confirmed her 4/22/09 due date.  So either she is lying to me or her doctor has no clue what he is doing?????

[Griggsy]

Dude the baby is not yours. I am due 4-21-09, and we conceived late July. Unless your November is our July there is no possible way you're the father. If you still have issues get a DNA test done.

PS. It's not nice or right to cheat on your spouse. Sex ,no matter how good, isn't worth what you're feeling now or how your wife will feel when she finds out.

[worriedbabe]

and by the way, i feel sorry for your wife.

[worriedbabe]

condoms are not 100% no, but believe me you know about it when they've failed. if it's split,the stuff's everywhere and the only other way it can fail is if it leaks out of the bottom...which you also would have noticed.

[tatorbug40]

I saw wait and see if she gives birth to a full term baby in April-  if she does, then the baby is clearly not yours...  if she gives birth in august then you might want that DNA test done...  

and I must say,  I am a little glad you are so stressed-  you are kinda creep for cheating on your wife...  

[heatherlynn22]

if she's 8 months pregnant....and you had sex with her in november...baby is NOT yours unless you had sex with her 8 months ago. and if you think she is lying then have a paternity test done when the baby is born. and if it is yours...and that is a big IF deal with the consequences. you had sex with a woman other then your wife. you cheated. cheaters don't always get away. actually i don't think they ever do. so she'll probably eventually find out. and if she finds out later then sooner...it could be worse for you. but either way....good luck.

[JoyRenee]

The only thing that would work during pregnancy to determine baby's father is an amniocentesis, which has a low risk of killing the baby. A very low risk, I might add. But still a risk nonetheless.

Best bet is to wait for the little one to be born and get a DNA test. They are pricey but it will be worth it to end the stress and move on with your life.

[sweetangel7]

No blood test can accurately date a pregnancy...she is flat out lying to you!  The doctor might have given her a level of hcg but that level varies so much, it is not used to date pregnancy.  Only an ultrasound can date a pregnancy or a last menstrual period etc.  

I am due April 20, and at this point, there is no denying that I am 8 months pregnant!  Like I said, we conceived in JULY.  

I guess you only have 8 more weeks to see if she really is due in April BUT I highly doubt it.  DEMAND she go with you to a clinic or some other place to get an ultrasound to see with your own two eyes.  The farther along in pregnancy you are, the harder it is to date BUT at 8 months pregnant she would be having her stomach measured for fundal height and it would show approximately how many weeks she is.  Give or take a week!  

[omobolanle fagbemi]

the baby isn't by any chance yours, unless she's lying about the dates.
did you see the test papers? you should. she must be a pro scammer to forge that and that means you're in some serious s**t !! with a vixen like that.

Lesson: no matter what, don't ever go that far when you're married, (happily or not)

[Cristiansmom]

Are you worried that she may be pregnant.. and that your wife may find out?

If you had sex with her in Nov,and she is soo many months along,then that baby isn't yours. If she just found out,and if it was your baby,she would of been...3 months or so right now.If she is due in April,then its not your baby,unless you had sex with her 7-8 months ago!

[GRose]

As far as I know a blood test cannot determine conception date. You are going to have to wait until that baby is born and get a DNA test.

[Worrier69]

Following up on my stressful situation....The girl did a blood test last week Saturday (2/7/09) to determine the due date.  She said it came back as 4/22/09.    I saw her today and her stomach looks so small.  I know every pregnancy is different but her stomach only sticks out max 4-6 inches from side view.  And next week she will be 8 months preg.

Can a blood test determine the due date?  Is it acurate?

I hope her doctor who did the ultrasound knew what he was doing.  Im praying for some luck with this situation or my life is over.  Plus i used a condom.  Any honest comments will be greatly appreciated.

[Kim1989]

imo i dont think you should be having sex if your going to be THIS worried. you use a condom. they are effective unless they r expired, rip, or are put on wrong. you did not get her pregnant!

she prob didnt get her period. she prob had bleeding. you dont get a period when your pregnant but you can bleed, like a period but she did not get a period. if she said she got her period....she was simply bleeding. you did not get her pregnant. there is no way possible.

but if you cant understand that you had PROTECTED sex with someone, she conceived in july when you had sex with her in november, and her due date is in a few months...maybe you should rethink sex. there is no reason for you to be as worried as you are.

and yes you should never have cheated on your wife

[sweetangel7]

I am due April 20, and my husband and I conceived in July...There is NO possible way that this is your baby (unless you slept with her in July...)!  She is trying to scam and rope you in!  

Ultrasounds can be days wrong NOT months wrong!

Women can bleed during pregnancy so it is possible she thought she was getting her period and therefore not pregnant HOWEVER this woman seems unstable and dishonest...I would run, not walk, away from her and NEVER look back!

Good luck...never cheat on your wife again...and consider this chapter of your life done and over with...move on and cherish the stable life you have with no baby mama drama!

[drguruncs]

My daughter was born April 16th of 2005. She was two weeks early. I conceived the first part of August.

Baby Mama got prego around the 25th of July give or take a week.

[Worrier69]

yes i wore a condom and as far as i know i didnt break (i regret not checking it after).  Everything is running threw my mind about sperm leaking out the opening, holes, had precum before put condom on that got on outside of condom, etc.  

Im having a hard time accepting the u/s due date, her getting periods while pregnant, missing her period the month i had sex with her, and most of all the fear of life being over.

I know i deserve this stress but its killing me.

[Kim1989]

i dont understand....you said shes 6 months pregnant. but if you had sex with her (and you said it was PROTECTED) in November......the babys clearly not yours because november is a lot closer than 6 months.

[Worrier69]

I hope the doctor is accurate.  I dont think the girl would lie to me on the dates.  I know condoms are not 100%.  Im stressing out big time.  This is a lesson learned.  I basically need to hope i dont get the phone call next year.  Thats a long time for stress.

[Brittney11]

if u/s said that the baby is measuring 21 wks then it is pretty acurate it could be off by maybe a week or two thats it so i would say that the baby is not yours

[rambopeep]

Seems to me that she was already pretty far along, and that there is no chance that it is your baby. It is possible to still have periods in your first few months, and some women all the way through too. That would definitely explain why didn't know she was pregnant. I can understand your concern but the dates are way off and you can rest easy on this one.

[Worrier69]

Must have been end of October.  I think i had protected sex with her on 11/14/08.