So upset with DH

[DollChina]

DH seems to think he should be able to go out with his buddy once a week.  I don't think he should with a 19 month old and I am 8 months pregnant.  He went 2 weeks in a row this month and I didn't want thim to go last night because I was so tired from my out of town meeting and I was achy everywhere.  Of course, we had a fight.  He thinks I am trying to control his every move.  But what man goes out weekly when their wife is 8 months pregnant?  He said he needs some space sometime and I was like then be a single guy.  I am sorry once you are a parent, you rarely have that luxury.  I don't mind him going every once in a while but not weekly.  I have plan to go out to dinner with a firend of mine tonight bcause it's her birthday and I think that's why he wanted to go out last night because I get too.  I think it's a bunch of BS.  I don't go out weekly but maybe once a month.  I don't know if it's my hormones or what but I don't seem to be ablt to reason with him.  I think he is a BIG A HOLE

[martikadragoon]

Well.... There are times I get sick of having 3 guys over here.. playing Guild Wars and COD4 on PS3.. mainly because I have NOTHING to do in the mean time and get to listen to the argue and yell over the games... men... ugh...

But It's better than him dissapearing for a night.

[kele1129]

I wish I could DH to go out on his own or with friends. But for 10 years now he has said "We are a couple and should do things together" ....sheesh people need time apart. It is healthy to have independence, even just 5 hours a week would make me happy. I don't see the harm in an adult going out once a week for a few hours as long as they are reachable (is that a word?) in case of a crisis, why not?

[JoyRenee]

DollChina, that's a brilliant idea! On the nights I'm fed up and want DH around I tell him that whatever he wants to do he can do at home (meaning they can come over), too. LauraB did say it brilliantly. You guys will work it out for yourselves! But I definitely see why it is irritating you and you're not selfish for wanting the man you married to be with home at the end of the day (heck, you're home at the end of the day!). Sorry he's being a pain!

[mami1323]

Man, can I come over.  All that stuff downstairs and he still feels the need to go out.  Men think that they're missing something out there.  Like I said before, once a month is fine, once a week is pushing it.  I hope you two can work it out.

[DollChina]

Yes, I was thinking about having him ask his friends to hang out at the house.  There's a full bar downstairs, WII, movies, or they could hang out and drink on the deck, etc.  I won't care.  It's hard for me  to know him being gone and I am getting so pregger.  Yes, it's not fair and I am jealous but I chose not to go out so much because I want to be with my son more before the baby comes.  I am esp "jealous" when he doesn't go on any dates with me.  I guess man just don't think that way.  I think we are ok now.  I think once the baby is here we will be able to more together as a couple.

[martikadragoon]

I think Laura was correct about "phases" there've been times in my marriage where we'd only see eachother about 30min. a day due to work, then other times where we are together all the time.

Maybe suggest his buddies come over and hang out with him?  IDK, I do know men can be self centered and only focus on them. ESP when impending father hood is part of the equasion(sp?)  (even if there is already a baby in the pic)

there have been a few occasions when my husband will want to hang out with my brothers and they're friends, and luckily I know they would never do anything irresponsible. But If He wanted to go out every week I'd have issues with that, because esp. when your not able to go out that much.

And if my DH bailed on a date, he know's hed get H*ll about it from me. we try to make time to go out on a "date" at least 2-3X a month. usually it's only dinner and a movie with a walk around the mall between the two, but it's enough to allow us to connect.

And sometimes we'll go to a "toy" store for adults and look around for the fun of it.  maybe one day you should just leave without much warning, just tell him "i'm going out, so watch the baby"... then leave, even if he had plans with his buddy's. you know?

Then he can see how it feels.