ladies, I need your help!

[acline93]

For those of you who are involved with a military man, is it easy or difficult in regards to dealing with him and his career? I'm *talking* to a man I went to high school with way back when, and he's stationed in Eastern Europe, and things are getting pretty intense, and I just don't know if I would be making a mistake taking on a relationship with a military man AND dealing with a newborn very soon. He's very sweet, but I'm worried about PTSD and all that when he gets home. I just need some good advice whether I should put this rapidly developing relationship on hold while I'm pregnant or not. help :( anything advice welcomed :)

[gracie1086]

Im with a navy man and believe me its hard as hell i have a son from previous relationship and am pregnant with our first baby id personally concentrate on you and the baby just now xx

[DaisyAS]

I'm a navy wife and an army brat also, so I am used to the military lifestyle. I think if you believe that you are capable of being alone for months at a time, and can stay faithful, and you are willing to move all around the world every few years, then you can be a military wife. The military has a high divorce rate, so don't rush into the relationship.

I dated my husband for 3 years before we got married. I admit that the first year was soooo hard for me because I had to leave my whole life, career, family, friends behind, and move to another state. It was hard to adjust, and honestly regretted marrying him. But I couldn't give up, and eventually I got used to it and I can't imagine my life any other way!

What ***** is that my husband is going to be deployed when I give birth to our first child. But I'm happy that some of my family will be here with me when it happens.

Choose wisely hun, and best wishes!

[Nichole05]

Im an Army Wife as well and like the other ladies stated it is a very tough but rewarding lifestyle and all women are not cut out for it. It takes a strong woman to support a man that is away from you more than he is with you but the good thing is that when they are away that makes your love for each other even stronger. Dont worry about the PTSD thing, know that if you persue a relationship with this man that his career is very demanding and sadly work may come before family. Take things slow, dont try to rush off and become a military wife to fast. I met my now husband when my daughter was 8 months old and he is the only man she calls daddy. He never had a problem accepting her, after we got married he joined the Army and we are now expecting our 1st together and he is due to deploy before or soon after the birth of our son. So for now concetrate on your baby and yourself that is whats most important.

[hayang]

army wife. navy brat. military *****. i wouldn't do it if i were you. find someone who can be there. not someone that can only WANT to be there. my hubby wants to be home all the time, but guess what? he can't. He works from 0630 until well after 5 because that's what his work demands sometimes. so..........that's all.

[1sttimmommy]

I love being a army wife. yeah its NOT for some ladies you need to know what you are getting yourself into. take it easy if you just got out of a rough relationship. yeah they are gone all day long and come home tired. mine leaves at 5:30 am comes home around 6 and sleeps around 8. Im used to it already. we are high school sweet hearts and married right out of high school.  now Im having our first baby and Im so lucky to have him throught out my whole pregnancy some aren't that lucky. my husband hasn't gotten deployed but either way it does take a lot of them. enjoy talking to the guy just be careful and get to know each other all over again ;). Its good that your moving on just take it slow hun think about you and your baby first before anything! Good luck.

[Cyn_henderson]

But i do love my husband. No matter how much he drives me crazy i wouldn't chamge the decisions I've made for anything.

[Cyn_henderson]

Marine wife...i think the hardest thing so far is just dealing with his ptsd. Cause he likes to play with me an catch me by surprise an it's hard for me to remember how far i can joke. An dealing with his injuries was even harder. He shattered both of his wrist an some of his face. But seeing him nearly give up was hard. An adjusting to living on base was new for mw. Not so bad. But the training that goes on at night drives me crazy

[maybaby19]

I agree with Lyssa!

[Lyssa0607]

My husband is airforce its hard but worth it i would nt trade him for anything in the world yes him being gone ***** when he misses things but it also makes the things he is there for that much better i say if you care for this guy and he is willing to treat your son as his own do it bc you dont wanna wake up one day and regret not giving him a chance just bc of his profession given bc you have a child i would take the time to date even skype date this guy before making sudden decisions like marriage but dont throw him out of the ring just yet he could be your soul mate (and yes i do believe they exist lol)

[militarywife929]

Correction.... it was i wouldn't* trade being an army wife. My bad!

[OorahMommy]

My husband has been a Marine since he was 17 and I actually met him while I was in the Navy. Its complicated that's all I can really say because while dealing with everything he goes through job wise yes its hard BUT the decision to do it is easy its not even a decision at all. I love him to the ends of the earth so It doesn't even cross my mind not to. I think since you are given a choice here though before things get serious you should really give it some thought. Are you ready to get married if he asked you? Are you willing to drop everything and be where he needs to be? Can you handle him coming home, falling in love with him, and then have a deployment dropped on you? More importantly is he ready to be a father figure? I know your baby has a dad but this man will be the sole male figure given you move in together. Can he deal with your ex? Because it will come to a point where they will need to be civil with each other. These are just a few questions you can ask yourself. It may seem like a lot to think about but a child makes everything more complicated. It's not bad to be involved with a service member its just a lot more responsibility in a small amount of time. I wish you the beat of luck! :)

[militarywife929]

Im an army wife and would trade it. I was pregnant when we went through our 1st deployment together. She was 9 mons old when he came home. It was hard but beyond worth it. Not all military man get ptsd; mine didnt! but im a stay home mom i prolly would not get to be if we lived back home and i respect everything he does for our country. Im pregnant now currently 18 weeks. All i can tell you is it's not all bad it has its ups and downs along with everything else in life, take it slow.

[yourstruly21]

Like others have said its hard but worth it...its very stressful and we never really have much time together...my husband would get up for work and be gone by 5:30 n usually didn't get off until 6 and by the time he made it home he was completely drained...hed go to bed by 8 and start over the next day. The money is not great but its stable. Its not easy tho, especially deployments...but if yu really like this guy and feel it will all be worth it then go for it

[mckee513]

Army wife here. Hard but worth it. Not all men get ptsd. My husband suffers severly. Not torwards me but himself. We meant before he was military and married before as well. He signed up for his family. The money is crappy but the pride I have for what he does is unmatchable. Take it slow and see where it goes. We haven't been moved around at all but deployments suck! A year by yourself is hard but even harder on them

[babyonboard24]

My hubs was in the army for 8yrs an is done now,i wouldve never gotten serious with him when we met if he wasnt almost done,seeing him once a yr while deployed just wouldnt have worked for me an as far as ptsd everyones different,my hubs came back fine (thankfully) i would focus on my bub if i was you,a new baby is alot of work an dealing with someone whose gone is as well.

[simmons9211]

My hubby was a marine. He's out now, and honestly I wish he wasn't. I loved the military life. It just depends on what kind of person you are and what his job is. Only way you could know is by giving it a try. I would wait till he gets home though to start anything. Long distance isn't a good idea for starting a relationship. Especially while deployed.

[militarywife11]

I am a military wife . Honestly its hard because its crazy what we go through moving homes and then they have duty days where they don't come home. And most of the time your alone and away from your family its hard. I can't hold a job because we never know if we are moving or staying. And I'm pregnant right now 9 weeks five days and I'm always alone trust me you'll regret it.

[Mizzztaylor]

Not a military wife. I can tell you though that, as someone who just came out of a relationship that was very toxic and somewhat abusive, and being pregnant on top of that, I'm nowhere near ready to start one up again. My ex really tore me and my self esteem down and I know that if I got involved with someone right now it would be more of me taking from him and just not being able to give back in return. Add to that being a mom again and it just wouldn't be fair to anyone no matter who great he is. Besides, i want to value thw time I have with my baby while I have it. I don't want to share my time or even my baby with someone else right off the bat. It really is such a short time that they are babies. We all reach our own healing point at different places and times though so I have no doubt that some women can handle it. I've read many of your posts and it is so obvious that you have a good head on your shoulders so I have no doubt you will do what is right by you and your baby. Good luck.

[almostmommyof2]

Its very hard being involved with a man in the military.My husband has been a marine since graduating high school we have had our ups.and downs but if its.meant to be and it feels right I say go.with it .

[acline93]

I'm trying so hard not to get feelings for him already, because we can only talk online and the occasional phone call, but it's just hard. He's such a good guy and I'm not used to it at all, with how my ex treated me. I think I'll at least wait until he gets home to start up a relationship with him, but I still can't quit thinking about him lol

[Franky91]

My best pal is married to a navy man and has two children with him she says it is hard being home all the time with the babies herself but at the end of the day if u love them, when he comes home she makes every moment count and hes a gd dad and has good money for his family

[jagerbelle]

I think you should focus on you and that little one and just let things develop naturally with this guy. Start as friends... get to really know him.. take it slow. If its meant to be, it will transform into a relationship. I wouldnt worry about ptsd just yet. Not everyone gets it. My father was in vietnam and my grandfather was in ww2 and neither suffered from it. I wish you the best!!