Honestly I hate when people judge before they know the situation. Before I found out I was pregnant me and my husband had good jobs. We have a nice car, expensive phone, nice clothes. But life happeneds my husband got fired a week before we found out I was pregnant. I started getting really horrible morning sickness. I lost over 50 pounds, I had to quit my job. We started pawing stuff because we needed to pay bills. All this happened around the holidays. We honestly sometimes didn't had nothing to eat for days. So we got foodstamps. I still have my phone and car and im not going to sell them because I need them. I know I'm not going to be on foodstamps forever. Its just a rough patch.
Why are you even commenting on this? It's 5 years old?
This post infuriates me. Don't talk bad about someone when you are completely oblivious to their situation. I am on EBT and WIC.
I wear nice clothes, often designer. I buy them at thrift stores and ebay & they are cheaper than Walmart clothes that are going to fall apart in a week.
My mom pays for my cell, I am on her family plan. It is for emergencies since my pregnancy is high risk.
I am disabled. Other than the mental issues, fibromyalgia & the rupturing cysts are the worst. I can't even drive (or often walk some days).
I was on 40 pills (including oxy, Vicodin, etc) for the pain, until medical herb. I buy out of state. So "drug testing" would simply ruin my life FYI.
I was told I was infertile most of my life. I have been married twice. I am allergic to latex and can't take BCPs due to liver issues. Most hormonal birth control I have tried & gone to the ER quickly after. So before you say I should've gotten pregnant.
Tell me what I am supposed to be ashamed of?
Because I'm not, & you should try hobbling in someone else's shoes, but I guess everyone here is superior to me.
In refrence to prior comments, drug tests are not administered in order to qualify for food stamps where I live. I am very low income with a new baby and I drive a nice car because it was handed down to me and my family...and I look damn good all the time because I have style and confidence. Thrifting anyone? It doesn't take lots of money to be fabulous on the inside and out, it only takes love.
And yes I do spend my extra money on food I don't have a lot of extra money after paying for my car payment and insurance and gas but what I do goez to food and since my hrs r getting cut im getting less money and can't afford much food.. and that's y I applied and I do need more food in my house and I couldnt make my apointment and ive tried to call the lady and reschedule but she will not call me back and its pretty aggriateing im pregnant and need to eat and Im running out of food in my cabinets..
Okay ill tell u my situation im 19 years old had a nice car (2 door) so then I got pregnant and had to trade my car in and I got a 2012 car nice car 4 door car because I needed a 4 door car and I pay for it every month but I didnt want to get a junk car and have it breaking down left and right when Im having a child I reciently applied for foodstamps and im not ashamed I work part time and my hours keep getting cut because im going on maternity leaf soon.. I don't think its wrong for me to get foodstamps because I have a nice car I mean I have a lot of bills to pay and I need a car to get back and forth to things and I don't want to dump money into a junky car for it to break down a lot... so I don't think u should judge people for what they look like or what they drive I don't even know if I qualify for foodstamps yet I agree people do abuse it no dount about it I know plenty of people who abuse it and trade their foodstamps for cash to buy weed and drugs excet. But I don't think people should judge people on foodstamps for what they drive or wear and I have nice clothes and don't like to look poor.. I haven't even bought clothes for myself in idk how long becauase I can't afford it but I don't let myself look like a bum because I can't afford new clothes everyweek..
Ladies, we are closing this thread. It is off-topic, and getting too heated and judgmental.
Let's remember to be mindful of the hard times many are facing, and there is no shame in asking for help if you need it. We also don't know if some women just lost a well-paying job and now needs help, but her car may be leased and if she turns it in, she loses a lot of money, etc. It's easy to look down on others to make ourselves feel better, but we never know the full story.
We have many, many members who don't post and just read, and some of those women are facing hard times, need support, and might not feel they can get it here if other members are insulting those who they deem to be "abusing the system." We also have members who are pregnant and addicted, and come here looking for help for both, and we want them to be able to get the help without shame or guilt. Let's remember that.
Thanks,
Emily
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NO MORE POSTS, PLEASE
WOW that is crazy see it really does make people who need this stuff and work really hard everyday and love their kids more than anything look crazy!
about my sister- if her benifits were cut, yes it would punish her children which I dont think if fair, but was it fair to them to be born to people like my sister and her boyfrien? NO.. they are poor excuses for civilians..
And another story id like to share is DBs mother... She and DB were hit by a train about 5 or 6 years ago. she had some back problems from it, and quit her job and stated that she couldnt work. well as the years went by she babied and babied it, now she has so many issues that she cant even stand up long enought to take a shower or do dishes. there house is disgusting.. they pay her rent and give her food stamps... but yet she can affored, phones, interntet, the best cable, charter offers. if she can afford that they she dont need help. those things are not a need. she could have got a sit down job. or a job working from home. they dont clean at all. and not to mention her 21 year old daughter and 17 year old son live with her, and she gets money for them living there too. the 17 year old, okay, but her 21 year old.. really, does she deserve money for her, she is over 18 and should have her own job and place.. she buys 5 packs of cigatettes every week, to support hers and her two kids habbits.. and there food stamps used to go to 2 litters and chips for the kids, she used to never buy gorceries cause she dont really eat. hello 5 packs of ciggerettes a week, is 20 packs a month if not more, that is 140 dollars or more a month, hello..... thats groceries or an electric bill a month. I smoke and so does bd, but one pack last me a week and we can afford them and some.. you know... plus get this. she was having a real hard time with her 17 year old son, and i kept telling her to send him to his dads, and all she would say is, well then i wont get that money for him living here. and then my DB is 22 years old, and his dad owes back child support which when db was 16 he went to live with his dad and she promised his dad she would sign off on that money if he would take him. and he did, he had him for 4 years, given he made him go to school and work. but thats what a good parent does. well last yearish, Dbs dad called and said he recieved papers that they were never signed off on, and he still owed that money, so he called her to sign them AGAIN and she said well i dont really want to. its my right. and she said "Joey (dbs lil brother) is turning 18 soon and not going to school so im losing his child support too, so i wont have any money" I was like are u serious.. DBs dad took him in, got him to go to school, got him to get a job, took him to florida to live, made a better man out of him... I dont think he owes that money. well she saids i rasied him for the first 14 years.. well yea u did, but not with ur own money, will your drug money and your husbands money. so he called her again and said what do i gotta do to make u sign them. which he just sent DB 150 dollars to change his last name to his dads,a nd his mom was so mad that he was doing that and felt betrayed, so she said, id like some money and lunch.. seriously!!!!!! so DBs dad called him and said give your mom that money and take her to lunch. Db said whatever, and did it, which turned out buying her and his siblings dinner at an expenisive place..
it just drives me nuts, how lazy people are and how they use everyone else to make a living for themselves.
This is very true you need to have a plan and if both of you can work you should! Or at least be looking for work
awesome! girlie! I am not that smart to learn that but I'm really good with kids and teaching so I went into that field might as well do something you love right! Anyhoo hubby goes to school for Architecture he loves that stuff but has more to go than me so I will be finished before him but the money I make will well support us until then! I am thrilled about it all!
That sounds womderful! Both df and I want to be pathologists but its gonna take a lot of school and we are going to have to work hard for just one to go to school. I will pry go back for the degree first while he works the higher paying job. Tho we both want to get our CNA so there is no $ issues while we are back at school.
I would like to point out that DH and I have laid all of our possibilities out after we have our baby in Jan. and we have both agreed on the best situation for OUR household. While it would be ideal to be a SAHM, I'm going to continue to work, since we will receive free daycare (my mom has graciously offered) my job is really family oriented, and flexible, and it would give him a chance to get his masters, thus move him into a much higher income bracket. In a few years once we start working towards baby #2 we will be able to live very well on just his income if I choose to stay home. My point is, you need to COMMUNICATE before you have children, and know that, if you want to stay home, that is a luxury! Don't do it because the government can help you, financial planning IS family planning!
I completely understand I am almost finished with my degree!! I'm already scoping out higher paying jobs..my field is with children teaching but in private school and I plan on having my children in the same school where I work it will be great!!!!!
It is wonderful that you have a plan for your family's financial future. Great job! Hold your head high. You have great plans for your future.
Those ppl make me sick! Dds are my babies not my $ makers! And I want a child to love and care for. NOT bc s/he will let me get help. I'd like to avoid the help. But ik once df goes back to school for his CNA altho it takes 2 months tops one or both of us will have to work less. And that will be hard on us. But once he's done. He'll make so much more $$! And we'll be set to have a baby. But I'm not gonna wait the 2-3 that's gonna take to ttc.
yes, I see there are tons of people using their children like "paychecks". That is awful & unfortunate. I just wonder what would happen to those children if they were not in the system.
I think that the social service offices are so busy that there is no way to weed out the "slackers" from the ones that truly need help. Who has time to do all that? and How could it be done? Also what do you do with the children from the "slacker" parents?
LauraB: I understand where you are comming from in a lot of what you say about people just having kids to stay at home & not work, but how do you fix the system?
I know a girl who has 6 kids only two fathers but she wont get a job because she wants them to suffer for not being with her so they pay the max in child support, also she get a WHOLE LOT in food stamps and TANF-cash assistance and three of the are disabled not real bad but one is blind and the other has hearing issues and something with the other one but she get ssi for them and housing and she has a big white new bronco and yes her hair and nails done and is always on myspace talking about I got money!!!! UGHGHGH Then she gets a job like at a grocery store at the end of the year so she can claim 3 of her kids and lets other people claim the other ones and split it her..no joke Im serious not my friend but a friends sister in law crazy huh?
I think maybe what the ladies are saying is that it should not be avaible to woman/couple who use their children as their jobs.
Ex: my friends sister worked and was laid off. She then had her baby and didn't look for a job. Got food stamps and child support. She lives at home. Her mother and younger sister buys EVERYTHING for her and her baby. When she did get a job her food stamps were cut. So she got fired and looked for a less paying job. She also claims she pays rent and utl. She doesn't do either. She does all this so her child support and food stamps stay high. She also doesn't allow her babies father to see his daughter bc hed have to pay less child support.
These ppl shouldn't have more kids bc they are using their kids like paychecks.
Are those the ppl u mean?
I agree. The system fails children here too, its disgusting. I guess an ideal solution would be put the money saved from denying those who fail the UA towards strengthening CPS, DSS, all the programs that are allowing children to fall through the cracks. Even if the child passes as "healthy" keeping them in that type of enviroment will more likely than not cause history to repeat itself.
Vacuum: The senario you laid out isn't the alarming one thats raising this country's deficit millions of dollars a year. Its the ones that choose NOT to protect themselves or have no intention of having a financial plan, and pop out babies with several different men, because they know they can sponge off the tax payers dollars for however long they want.
I wasn't trying to start a debate. Perhaps those of you getting angry with me should re-read my post.; I think we NEED the system and it should be there for families in temporary need. I do NOT think it is anyone's RIGHT to have a child.. Especially if you already have children and already IN the system.. If you truly want a child, you should PLAN for it and have a savings..You aren't automatically entitled by birth to procreate.. Kids are expensive..I am not trying to start a heated a debate.. I was just stating my opinion. I refuse to defend myself to people who clearly didn't read my post accurately. I never said I don't want to help people who need help..
sorry I meant that is really messed up!
Ok now that is a messed up situation but because I don't want their kids to suffer b/c of their wrong decisions...and thats why I pay taxes..that i really messed up though
unfortunately, there are many bad examples like this. But there are also a lot of people who do try & work hard that really do need a bit of a boost.
If it was taken away from your sister, would her childern suffer?