everyone who sees everyone else getting pregnant

[SoutheastKYGirl]

I know how you all feel. My husband and I had been discussing having a baby for about a month and we were trying to get everything settled to make sure we could afford one and such. I told him 'one can never really afford to have a baby'. Anyhow, we had decided that on a certain day, he would tell me how he felt about it all and what he thought we should do, bc he already knew how I felt about it. Well, needless to say the day before he was to tell me, my unmarried sister in law, who by the way didn't want kids until she was older and married, comes up and tells us she is pregnant and that I will be babysitting the baby for her 4 days a week, 24 hrs a day. I didn't mind, I was very happy for her. Then my husband asked his mom, who came with her, what she thought about us having a baby. She said we could do what we wanted. It gets better....The following day she (the mom) calls and asks me if we were serious about having one? I told her that we had been thinking about it and I asked 'Why?' Now, These are her words to the T and not mine. She said' We didn't need to have one bc of the chance that my husband would carry a gene disease from his grandparents,and that if we had one right now it would take away from her daughter's baby, and she couldn't afford another baby right now'.  So, needless to say, I hung up and cried like a baby. I told my husband about it and he didn't want to have anything to do with her for a while. Now,I just avoid her at all costs if possible. I think that if we are (hopefully we are) then she might come around, but I don't think our relationship will ever be the same again. When we first got together I would call her everyday, sometimes 3 -4 times a day, call her 'mom'. But after this, I don't want to have anything to do with her now. Is that wrong? I don't want to hurt my husband by not going around his family and I don't want to hurt my baby by saying they can never see their grandma. What are your all's opinions?? Thanks

[sweetsal2012]

aww thats awful but don't listen to her crap my dear you and your husband do what you want!! you want a baby it's not her decision and i have no idea why you even asked her! gawsh i have 16 neices and nephews and my parents love them to death!!! shame on her for saying this! God bless you!

[SoutheastKYGirl]

I understand EXACTLYhow you feel! Once my snl called me into a room and said I needed to be nicer to her family, bc I wasn't being as nice as I could be. Now, I dropped everything I had planned for one day in order to take her dad to the dr and pharmacy. Shetook me into this room told me that and put her hands on both sides of my face and said that she really loved me like a sister, but I needed to be nicer to her family. What did I do?? I asked her if she thought that I wasnt being as nice as I possibly could to her family an she said NO. Well, I said ok, and turned to walk out of the room, just as I opened the door, my husband was standing there and I just looked at him, I never said one word to him. I just went to get my stuff and leave. Next thing I know he had her around the throat. We were talking last night about his family and how I thought it would affect our child (if we have one) and that  I didn't want to hurt him or the baby, and he said he could care less about what his 'stupid family thinks'. I asked him if he was to not speak to either one for a whole 2 months if he could do it. He said he could and then I was like, yeah but afte 2 days of not speaking to you, I will be the one being asked, where is he? is he mad at me? why won't you 2 answer the phones? how come you 2 avoid me when I come over? I have to say tho. I do have an amazing hubby. He has almot always went by the Bible when it says, 'Husbands leave your mother and cling to your wife' The only problem is, I can't get his mom and sis to leave us alone, so we can have our own lives. Well, Thanks for listening/reading  ladies. lol. I may not be able to vent it out to someone other than my hubby, but on here I feel like noone judges me. It really helps for me to express myself, I've kept a lot of this inside me or waaaaaaaaaaayy too long. Thanks ladies!!! May God work His 'magic' on you. Baby Dust to all!!!!!!!

[rachie204]

Haha yes I know...I was very proud of myself b/c as my heart was racing and I was breaking out in hives I calmly walked into the house called my husband over in the other room showed him the mark and told him he better get me in the car b/c I was going to hurt her lol..we left right then.  My husbands grandfather died a few months ago and his grandmother was having a hard time and she just had a room built onto her house and she didnt want any drama..otherwise there is no telling what would have happened.  Funniest part is she didnt understand why we didnt invite her to come with us...UHHHH?

[maybrie]

I understand what ur saying about it not being very christ like, but if someone left a mark on my baby it would be on!!!! Turkey would flying across the room and someone would have to pry my hands off her neck.

[rachie204]

Well I do know how you feel.  I have a 3yr old son.  When he was about 1 1/2 we went to visit hubbys brother and his wife and they thought he was so cute they made a baby that same night.  We were very excited for them..I gave her a shower and we were there when she was born.  Before the baby was born the 4 of us where very close.  After the baby was born my brotherinlaws wife became one of these anal mothers.  They kind you just cant stand to be around b/c they are so crazy acting about their kids...but we were still very close.  They when the kids would play together (my son being 3 and their daughter being 14 months or so.   They would get all pissed off b/c they said he was being to ruff with her and stuff and then they decided to tell us we were bad parents and there was something wrong with our son.  Yes those were their words.  So then We got pregnant and they started saying they wanted to get pregnant with us and asked us what we tought about it...we told them honestly we didnt want to.  Well they decided to get pregnant anyways and then I miscarried.  To make it worse the day I was in the hospital getting my dead baby sucked out of me they decided to tell everyone they were pregnant.  After all this I felt very bitter but decided that it wasnt very Christ like to feel that way so I was going to put it all aside then on thanksgiving My son was playing with her daughter and she thought he pushed her so she grabbed his arm and yelled at him and actually left a mark.  I had to realzise that some people are just that way.  All I can do is be polite at family functions and not speak to her anymore than i have to.  You may have to do the same.

[rachie204]

Well I do know how you feel.  I have a 3yr old son.  When he was about 1 1/2 we went to visit hubbys brother and his wife and they thought he was so cute they made a baby that same night.  We were very excited for them..I gave her a shower and we were there when she was born.  Before the baby was born the 4 of us where very close.  After the baby was born my brotherinlaws wife became one of these anal mothers.  They kind you just cant stand to be around b/c they are so crazy acting about their kids...but we were still very close.  They when the kids would play together (my son being 3 and their daughter being 14 months or so.   They would get all pissed off b/c they said he was being to ruff with her and stuff and then they decided to tell us we were bad parents and there was something wrong with our son.  Yes those were their words.  So then We got pregnant and they started saying they wanted to get pregnant with us and asked us what we tought about it...we told them honestly we didnt want to.  Well they decided to get pregnant anyways and then I miscarried.  To make it worse the day I was in the hospital getting my dead baby sucked out of me they decided to tell everyone they were pregnant.  After all this I felt very bitter but decided that it wasnt very Christ like to feel that way so I was going to put it all aside then on thanksgiving My son was playing with her daughter and she thought he pushed her so she grabbed his arm and yelled at him and actually left a mark.  I had to realzise that some people are just that way.  All I can do is be polite at family functions and not speak to her anymore than i have to.  You may have to do the same.

[Barbs123]

Wow, its so sad. But these stuff happen. Its pure jelousy. Don't let it bother you. You and your hubby do things when you are ready and as a family, not when old mother dearest tells you too. Your sister in law is a freak and needs to get over the fact that she is not the center of attention. You guys decide together and if they don't like it tough!! God willing old mother dearest will have a change of heart when the baby comes. Other wise forget her and just live your life with your little family!!! You married him not his sister or mother so tell them to stop making your decisions!! Good luck sweety and don't be afraid to stand up for you and your baby!!! God bless!

[maybrie]

OMG! My moher in law is a saint compared to that witch.  RUNNNNNNNNNN,STAY AWAY FAR AWAY.Those people are to full of themselves to be happy for anyone else.

[Jame0223]

Wow. Thats pathetic! And here I am saying she's probably nice but noooo. Shes just as selfish as her mother. No offense but your hubby's family sounds like a bunch of degrading buttheads! I would do what you want and that gives you the reason to keep your family away from them. They don't want you in their family you don't have to put them in yours! I'm glad your husband is more selfless then they are. If he loves you then noone else (in his family or not) matters. Its your decision not theirs! Can't stress it enough.

[Michele, Katy, TX]

OMGoodness!!!  I am speechless.  My sister in law and I have been pregnant at the same time the last 3 times.  All of our kids are like weeks apart.  I wouldn't go around her either if I didn't have to.  That is just incredible.  Where does she get off???  I would never let anyone tell me when it is convenient for me to have a baby.  It's not up to anyone but your husband and you!!!!  Spotlight???  That is not the reason we have children!!!  That is the last thing I think about when I am pregnant.  I'm not crazy about my husband's family myself.  Luckily my immediate inlaws are in another country!!!  They've said stuff about how many we have and I get offended with that.  I just think "You don't pay my bills"!!  I don't think anyone has ever been happy when we get pregnant.  I kind of resent that.  I'm always afraid to say anything.  I didn't mean to get off the subject but I wanted you to know I know how you feel!!  I'd be ttc with a vengence now!!  

[honey1982]

man i wouldnt babaysit and i wouldnt have communications with them. his family is outrageous and selfish they need to grow up. but its up to you if you guys want a baby then go on ahead and make and have your baby forget about them. they sound self- centered. well lots of babydust coming right at you sweetie.

[beautifullychaotic]

OMG!!!  That is absolutley outrageous!!!!  I would sooo do what you want to do...better yet have 10 kids!  And let the kids go there  and you stay back.  OR ...it sounds to me that that whole family might be on the crazy side so there is an excuse to hold your child back!  Good luck! Lol that p*sses me off just thinking about it!

[bambies]

im speecheless how selfish i would have give my mother in law a what for good luck hun i hope u get all u want and more its about u and ur partner any way no one else

[SoutheastKYGirl]

thanks. my snl told me that She 'would perfer that I waited until after her baby was born'. She said that every new mother wants to be the center of attention and that they want their baby to be also. So she doesn't want to share the spotlight with me,so to speak.  of course, she has always been the center of attention. when my hubby and i first got together, he asked me to marry him 3 days after we met. she was so P*ssed off that she told him she'd take him anywhere he wanted and buy him anything he wanted just so he wouldn't marry me. She has threathened to kill me twice. my hubby almost killed her once bc of it.  if i was at my inlaws house and she wanted to come up, i was asked to leave so she could come up.

[Jame0223]

Wow that's a tough one. I would be upset with her too. Eventually you will have to put it behind you for your family's sake. I think its **** that she just doesn't want to take away from your sister in laws light. I'm sure your sister in law would be happy to find out! Doubt she would mind sharing the spot light. How could a grandma turn away from her grandbaby. I would get pregnant anyways and just make her deal...that's just me though. Its selfish for her to say that. You want to start a family and there's no reason why you shouldn't be able to. Its not up to her. She said do what you want...so do what you want. She will be kind of resentful but I'm sure that as soon as your baby is born she'll be happy and grateful to have another grandbaby. Her arms will just be twice as full. Grannies need good excersize so why not! lol.

[mo41486]

Stay away from her!  She sounds terrible.

[darcy92681]

Well..... I have been in a similar situation but my daughter is 5years old. Which I think can make it even harder because she's old enough to understand. Me an my husband just told Baylee (our daughter) that her grammy was mean to mommy and daddy and that we can't see her anymore. She was ok with it because she was brought up to be kind to everyone, and gets very hurt when people are unkind.

If your husband is ok with it, I would just stay away. She may have a change of heart when you do get pregnant, and if she doesn't then it's her loss. I hope that helps. It's never an easy situation when families fight. Good luck.

[fsantiago]

I thought my mother in law was bad but holy s@!#$....I would of had to knock her out for that one...Stay strong girl and don't let the inlaws get to ya!