giving up

[ives1974dillard]

i just turned 35 on june the 12th and i have decided to give up on ttc i did get pregant one time but lost it march 31st was a year ago so i dont think i will ever get that way i know 2 other people that lost babys when i did and one has got a little boy that was born in april and the other is due in july and it is a little girl so i just dont think it was ment to be for me an my husband so  i will no longer ttc.

[ives1974dillard]

thank you i do have a great husband he has a daughter and she has 2 little girles that are my world i love them like they were mine so i know what you are saying i just think it its getting close to that time of the month and my hormones are screwed up i do this sometimes sometimes all i want to do is cry. i will be ok  

[Mumita]

Ives- Sometimes we concentate sooo much on the prize or on the goal that we loose focus of the journey...
Think about why you want to have a baby so badly, and be honest with yourself or your husband.  No one is a failure for not having kids.  There's nothing that you need to prove to anyone and you don't need to prove to yourself anything, be happy with what you have and what you aquire along the way.

All that matters is that you have a loving relationship and if you happen to get pregnant then that's absolutely wonderful, if not, you still have your partner to enjoy for life.  Its all about the journey.  In the mean time you can be the best auntie, the best babysitter and the best friend.  You are not missing anything you are complete and having a child just adds more great things in your life, but you still have great things going for you so don't stress...enjoy what you have and don't worry about it.

However, get healthy, eat right, exercise and always take a women's vitamin and eat foods rich in DHA or Omega 3's, get your body healthy enough to support yourself and possibly a growing baby, and your b ody will definitely thank you for it.

[ives1974dillard]

thank you i have tears in my eyes as i read this i am so sorry for  your loss i know how you fell is some sence of the way on the mc you are a strong willed ladie i can tell this i try to relax but there are so many people around me that has new babys to sometimes it is very hard to do  how do you do it any help would be nice

[daisymomlove]

I know exactly how you feel.  I was at the point of giveing up as well.  I had my first daughter going on six years ago.  I tried to have another child when she was about one.  It took about 6months and I was prenant.  I ended up misscarring and almost died from that one.  Then about six months after the misscarry I tried again.  Once again another misscarry.  Then I tried once more it took alittle over six months.  DH and I was about to give up as well.  Then finally we had another child.  My first daughter had passed away when she was about a year and a half. She passed of cardiomyopthy.  I was so empty and lost so I wasn't trying to replace her, I just felt empty with out a child.  So when me 0ther daughter finally arrived, we named her Faith.  Because DH and I had  faith that she would make it and make us happy.  Well I've always wanted at least two kids.  So I got off of birthcontrol about a year after I had my second child and ttc once again.  Oh it took so long and my mind even played tricks on me to where I swore I was preggo.  But never happened.  I was so close to giveing up and just thought that it wasn't meant to be.  Just as soon as I was going to give up, after a little over a year trying, I was deff. preggers.  We named her Nevaeh.  She was truely a gift sent from heaven.  By the way my first daughters name was Daisy.  Her face gloomed like a daisy everytime you looked at her.  So basically what I"m saying is don't give up.  It gets hard and it hurts to know that you want somethign so bad and it isn't givein to you.  But when your time comes it'll be here.  Yeah I know it seems like that's going to be forever.  But for me it seemed like when I actually stopped trying and was just intiment, that that's when it happened.  You might be streesing yourself out so much and putting your body in over drive trying to ttc, that you body isn't letting you do what it has to do.  Just take it easy and try not to try so much.  Just I guess kinda let it happen so your body can relax and you might have the out come that you're looking for.  Good luck and keep your head up. Keep us posted

[Emma870]

My mother had my brother at 42, and my mother in law had her boy at 43. My mom tried for a long time after me about 15 years. You just need to keep trying.  If it will happen.

[ives1974dillard]

thank you i guess i just get down on my self sometimes and i feel this way but it is so stressful to i have got to the point of dont care any more

[snowdancermeg]

Sometimes things happen when you expect it least.  Maybe your best bet is to give up trying...it might just be the stress of trying so hard that is keeping your body from getting pregnant.  If it is meant to be, you will eventually concieve.  You are still so young at 35!  Many people continue to get pregnant long after this age, so don't lose hope...maybe just sit back and enjoy the love making without any expectations.  Best of luck and love.

[aly79]

i wouldnt give up just yet i know plenty of woman who have kids well into there 40's it all in gods hands