It'll all be worth it at the end...hopefully

[poetry23]

Since I've been pregnant I've been through so much. From doctors questioning if i had miscarried, bleeding, in and out the emergency room for dehydration, serve cramps that i can feel in my sleep, days that i can't keep anything down then days that I'm just hungry all the time but those things didn't bother me that much. I mean i didn't even think that i could have kids due to a situation that happened in my past so no matter what this pregnancy throws my way i just take it because i know that once i see my baby that it'll all be worth it. I even found out the gender. It's a girl exactly what I wanted. But it's like i can't even be excited or happy because not matter if I'm having a good day or a bad day it gets worse because of the father of my child. He's 40 I'm 23 this is my first child this will be his fourth. When i found out about my pregnancy i asked him what did he want to do and he said that it was up to me and that we should start putting money aside for the baby but now that I'm further along he doesn't want the baby. Every time i see him which is every day because we work together he asks what if he don't want to be a father, he makes statements like fathers maybe mothers baby, he barely has touched me since I've been pregnant because he say that pregnancy lowers his sex drive, he criticizes how i look my hair my feet that's beginning to swell my belly, we work in a factory I'm a packer all the people at my job volunteers to pick up my full boxes and baskets because we work with metal and it's heavy except for him he'll see me struggling and just walk pass me, he says that he doesn't babysit change diapers or anything. And now he wants a dna test RIGHT NOW while I'm still carrying my baby. I'm so stressed out I'm trying not to be because of the baby but i can't help it. I never thought that my baby would be unwanted. It's not fair to her. He has three kids by three different women i asked if he requested a dna test from them too and he did not so why my baby. We work together, spent almost all of our off time together until i got pregnant then that's when he started to pull away from me. I get up and go to work every night because i want to be able to provide for my baby but lately I've been dreading going there because of him. I'm not going in tonight because I'm having sharp pain. I really want to give up. Just stay home in bed and cry every night but i refuse to because i know that my baby is depending on me. What am i going to tell my baby when she grows up and ask why her daddy doesn't want her, why he isn't around, why he takes care of his other kids but not her. I grew up in a home with both my parents. Idk how to deal with this. I can't make him want to be there.  I'm just so tired and so stressed. I'm trying to stay positive because I've suffered from depression and suicidal thoughts and actions in the past. I will never hurt myself because my baby needs me but i think i should probably start back taking my medication. Idk what to do. Hopefully my love will be enough.

[Baybbee]

Poetry, I'd love to be friends with you for support! Screw him....you've got your head on straight, don't lose that. Take him to court and get child support. Screw being with him, he's proven he isn't worth it. But he should have to support a life he brought into the world. And I agree with the others, your love is all she will ever need! If you need to talk, feel free to message me anytime! :)

[poetry23]

He's 40 i would think that he would want to be able to look back on his life and know that he was actively involved in all of his kids lives. I have no doubts that he is the father. But i don't think that it matters to him if he is. I missed work last night because i had to go to the er because i had cramping and a little bleeding(the baby is okay the doctors said that i should take it easy so i have involuntary days off from work) and i texted him to let him know that i wasn't coming in because we work together and i haven't got one phone call or text message or anything. I told myself last night that I'm over it that I not going to stress myself and my unborn child out from trying to force him to be involved in this pregnancy. If he ever comes around he will always be welcomed in my baby's life but he's no longer welcomed in this pregnancy

[poetry23]

Thanks everyone for the encouragement. It just really bothers me that he's trying to put me through this. I mean when i first found out i was pregnant he didn't express that he didn't want the baby and now he doubting that it's even his. He asked me if i was going to put him on child support i asked him will i need to then he went on to state that if i do everything i need is in the child support. Birthday presents, Christmas presents, graduates items etc is in the child support and not to call him for anything. It's just sad that someone could be apart of bringing a life into the world and don't want anything to do with it. I'm hoping that he would change before the baby come because i really want him in her life. I mean he says that he's there for his other children but i for one noticed that he only talks to and talks about his daughter. Idk why he's picking my baby out. I guess because he figures that he's too old to be raising a child. I have support from my parents and siblings so i believe that everything will workout whether or not he's involved.

[Roxxxy915]

40? ohmyGodness & is acting like a child wow!!!!!!!! If he really wants a DNA test after the baby is born let him pay for it. If you kno hes the father theres no need for you to prove him hes the father screw him!! Ikno us being pregnant can become stressful & we can become easily tired & just wanna relax all day but your doing a good job providing for your daughter & your being a great person knowing that she needs you & one day ikno she'll thankyou for everything . & put him on childsupport thats the least he could do.

[ToniSchields]

He is 40 and still not a man. There is no hope for him. Period. If he hasn't grown up already he won't.
You are still young. You'll find a man who is willing to love your daughter the way I love my step daughter. I'm pregnant for the first time and I'm also 23 with my husband. &People will say to go for child support but that's up to you because if he pays then he can be in your child's life. I'm all for both parents being there but not if one will be detrimental to the child. My step daughters mom shouldn't be and she puts us through hell. It's a lot to think about. Trust me when I say you don't wanna HAVE to deal with courts.

Leave him forever and never get back with him. Ever.
Promise you if you do you will regret it. Love your life and love your baby<3 Don't lift anything heavy :)

Don't do a test before the baby is here it could cause a miscarriage. His rights will disappear if he doesn't do child support and no contact for quite some time.
And jump on that if he's not a good father to his other children. Stay strong and stay positive :)

[african_mama_bear]

Honey when that baby comes dp a DNA test and put his butt on child support he will take care of your baby just like he takes care of his others well financial wise I know as parents we wondering what the future holds for our children but all that matters is that you are there for your baby give her that love and support and when she gets older if she wants to have that talk have it if not don't dwell on it and complain about her father around her trust a man being in his child's life dnt mean nothing my child's father's is in her life but he dnt do nothing we just live together she sees him all that he dnt take her to school pick her up no doctors appointment she had to go to the e.r last night he left I'm there for my child a d she knows it that's all that matters she is still a happy baby we are moving out soon he doesn't know yet cause I'm still putin things together but I refuse to have a man around my children that wnt be there for them and act like children themselves if he comes around than so be it that's good if not who tf cares do what u gotta do for ur child and let the courts deal with it

[xojensen_]

Of course it's always good to hear reassurance. Pregnancy comes with some crazy hormones so I could only imagine how you feel :)

I honestly believe my life would be so much different if I never had that phone conversation with him. It just messed with my head. Of course if he makes a huge effort to be there then hey why not but when that day comes and she asks questions all you can do is be honest but with so much love and happiness surrounding her it might not even be brought up! If she ever asks about her dad just tell her your her mom and her dad ;) best of both worlds!

Good luck mama and stay positive. You have a little girl coming that will love you unconditionally <3

[poetry23]

Thanks so much. I really needed to hear that. I know she probably will go through up and down emotionally because he's not in her life. Just as you did with thinking that maybe you was the problem. I honestly don't want her to feel that pain but i do believe that if she has enough love surrounding her that he wouldn't be missed that much well at least that's what I'm hoping. Thanks again for sharing your story with me:)

[xojensen_]

Annnndddd avoid a DNA test while pregnant I've heard it's extremely unsafe! Deep down he knows he's the father and once she is born and still wants a DNA make him pay for it.

But I promise she'll be better off with out him in than having him walk in n out of her life.

[xojensen_]

I'm truly so sorry. Pregnancy comes with crazy emotions so I'm sure it's making it even worse on you.. But I'd like to shed some advice just to hopefully make you feel a little better...

For being 40 years old, 3 kids, with 3 different women he's a child. An ****** in other words for even mentioning a DNA test. He doesn't deserve to have another child..
Please remember being a father and being in her life is a privilege NOT a right. He knew exactly what could happen when having unprotected sex.

I grew up not knowing my birth father, sure I knew of him and the last time I spoke to him I was six he told me he was going to send plane tickets for me and my brothers to fly out to see him for a week.... I literally waited by the mail box for possibly months. I never heard from him again. It destroyed me. It really hurt I thought I was the problem.. But when I got older I realized my stepdad who has been there since I was two was my real dad. He got me anything I wanted (I'm the only girl with 3 brothers) so he SPOILED me and it took me a very long time to actually call him dad.. I think I thought someday my real dad would try to come back in my life so I pushed my stepdad away and it really destroyed him he'd cry when I told him he wasn't my dad and he couldn't tell me what to do. Point being is last year I got s call that my real dad passed away. I didn't cry I wasn't sad or upset. I actually went and hugged my stepdad and told him how much I loved him... Which he didn't expect me to do that..

Your daughter is your world and I promise when she's older she'll realize how much you'd do for her whether it's when she's 12 or 32 years old. Never have the fear that she won't live a happy and loved life without him in her life. I promise one day you'll meet a MAN that will not only love you but your daughter just as much.

When it comes down to it he doesn't deserve to be a father. He doesn't deserve you. You are all that your daughter will ever need mama <3

Stay positive, be careful lifting heavy stuff while working! Ask for help when you need it and show him you nor your daughter need him in life.