i need advice about my relationship with my husband

[libbyz]

OK well I'm pregnant again we already have a 5 month old. And last night we had got In to a fight and he told me that every time Im pregnant I turn in to a *****. That totally made my heart sink. Well when he told me that I told him last he was jealous an whinny. Cause last time he would get so up set that people wouldnt ask him how he was ever doing they would ask how the baby or I was doing. And that really bothered him. I do understand why that bothered him but he took it out on me. So obviously that would irritate me. Well he told me that I wasn't there for him last time .  And I said no I wasn't and I'm sorry for that. And then he went on how he went to every appointment, read the development process with me every week, and asked me how I was doing all the time. Well he did do those things but when he would go to the appointment he would act so board and like there was always a better place to be and just completely disconnected from what was going on. And when we read the development process every week it started out that I would read it out loud for us then he wanted to start reading it on his own. And he would only read it I'd I asked him if he wanted to. It was never his idea first to read it. And that totally bothered me. And when I asked him if he would like to feel the baby move it was like twisting his arm. He did it twice and his face lit up when he felt her move. Then after that he didn't care about it. And I was always talking about what I was experiencing and he seemed like he really didn't care. Like he was annoyed.

Sorry for being so long. I need advice am I being a ***** or what plz help. Last time it was really rough and I don't no if our relationship can survive another pregnancy.

[libbyz]

Thanks Sarah that's what I needed to hear. I no that we experience different things its just hard to accept. I'm being grateful thanks for the reality check

[Sarah765]

It sounds like your husband isnt feeling apreciated, all that stuff he did is really really great.  He may not have been perfect but it does sound like he was puttong forth an effort which is great.  My husband hasnt felt any of our babies move except our first, once.  He does'nt like it, it creeps him out.  He would probably just stare blankly at me if I read him about the babies development.  He doesn't really want to talk about the baby much.  But he loves picking out names, goes to some of my doctor appointments, even though he is bored out of his mind, loves the ultrasound, and helps put together things for baby.  Then when there born he falls in love too.  We cant expect our husbands to feel the same about our pregnancies as we do. Its just not the way it is.  Its hard and stressful for them too.  Its another mouth to feed, another doctor bill, another person that is going to be reliant on them forever.  Its a lot of responsibility, and it can be scary for them.  Not to mention they understand all our discomfort, but it can be frustrating for them that they can't help us.  Just try to look at the good things your husband does, for you, and for your baby, and thank him for those things.  If it upsets him that he feels left out, and no one asks about him, when they ask say something like baby is doing great, and my husband has been so helpful or great with some particular thing he has done.  Just doing little things like that for him will make a world of difference.

[20preggers13]

I agree w ash. Just try to focus on him as a person and why you love him, not on what he is or isn't doing for the  baby. A lot of men dont really get into the pregnancy. Im impressed  he even started reading the development process w u and went to the appts. This is my husbands 5th child and he has no clue what is going on lol but its ok cuz I know what an amazing father he is and how helpful he will b after the baby is here

[Ashdub07]

It's rough. My husband actually packed his bags and left me when I was preggo last year. He was gone for a week with no communication then he text me and called me at work begging me to take him back. It was probably the hardest week of my life. And it wasn't anything I had done just he got overwhelmed with everything

[libbyz]

I no we don't spend enough time together. His b day is coming up maybe I will have to make a date night. I just hope he is to distant from me and I can bring him back to me

[Ashdub07]

It's really tough I understand my husband and I had a real rough spot during our last pregnancy. I'm 18 weeks and we have an 11 month old and a 6 yr old. I'm worried it'll go south here soon too. Just try and make time for you two if you can get a sitter and go to dinner or a movie or dancing. Just to remember why you fell in love in the first place