Paternal age and miscarriage/pregnancy

[songinmind]

Many of the recent studies have focused on paternal age (separate from or in addition to maternal age).  I am in that unfortunate boat in that I am trying for a baby with a wonderful, older man.  I am 29 and he is 48.  

We had a miscarriage back in August-  I had thought I was 10.5 weeks along and the baby stopped developing at 6.5 weeks.  I never had any cramping or bleeding, no idea that this had happened.

Now I’m pregnant again- 5.5 weeks.  I go for my first US next week Wed, but I’ve just felt horrible that this pregnancy is not going as it should (some cramping, spotting, not having many symptoms).  I don’t know yet what is happening, and I’m trying to stay positive.

My Financee has two healthy teenage children, but he is aware that his age is a factor of concern.  He feels horrible about my 1st miscarriage and keeps reminding me that ‘it’s likely his fault’.  (He knows I take ‘failures’ very hard and tend to blame myself, I’m not sure if he’s overcompensating or if he really believes this).

So if this pregnancy ends up in another miscarriage, what does one do knowing the factors against us?  Do we just keep trying until we have success (despite the emotional difficulty) or are there any other options?  Do doctors ever recommend to people that they use a donor (with ‘younger’ sperm or eggs) to decrease the risks/odds?  

[Elaine Brown, MD]

HI!
First of all, men are not considered to be of "advanced paternal age" until they reach 50.  Secondly, miscarriages are no ones fault ( I know you know this ).  They are simply nature's way of preventing abnormal babies from being born is most cases.
Two things that might be of interest to you ( if you do miscarry again )
Many people are doing the sperm DNA fragmentation analysis--as a high amount of fragmentation of the DNA can result in miscarriages, and this increases with age.
Secondly, before I would move to donor sperm I would go to ICSI.  You most likely won't need either one.  Sperm are designed pretty well so that the healthiest ones are usually the fastest swimmers and are  the most likely to get there first.
But, this is also enhanced by ICSI.
I am very hopeful that you will soon see a heartbeat and begin to allow yourself a small amount of happiness--I know its hard when you have miscarried in the past!
Good luck!
Dr B

[redBlues]

I would see an RE to discuss my options if i were you

good luck