X-wife Faking a Pregnancy

[canella]

In June my boyfriend had an affair with his x-wife.  Three weeks later she told him she was pregnant, which is shy I found out about it, she threatened him to tell me.  Which she did tell me.  I never believed she was pregnant.  She is 38 yrs old and the affair happened at that time of the month for her.  Besides her history, they had one pregnancy and one child 14yrs into their marriage with the help of fertility drugs she was taking and had been on for years.  A couple weeks ago she messaged him an ultrasound picture saying she was pregnant with twins and the one is a girl.  There was several things wrong with the picture, her name was not on it, no date, and at 10 weeks its not normal to find out the sex of the kids.  So she keeps playing with him about how her and the babies will be fine, has told everyone she knows that she is pregnant with his children, including his 18 year old son from his first marriage and his family in another state that he has little contact with.  So everyone started believing this pregnancy but me.  Through the wonderful world of the internet I did a little looking and found that picture she sent him and everyone else online.  She stole the picture off of someone else's website.  The person happens to have went to high school with her and is now a Principal of an Elementary school, so I have doubts that that lady would be involved with this.  We all know the truth now, she is faking the pregnancy to try to get him back, either way he was never getting back with her.  She a new boyfriend every month since they were divorced and until a parternity test she had no proof.  She now claims that she has had a test done using the dna of their 3yr old son against an amneo.  She has not been confronted yet about the truth, we know she is faking, we know she stole someone else's pictures to fake this.  My concern is for their 3 yr old, how safe is  he with a mother that will go to these lengths to get my boyfriend back.  And is she nuts?

[Richard Pomerance, Ph.D]

Dear canella,

Indeed, Munchausen is a possibility. She is certainly NOT ok, from what you say about her, but exactly what this means for diagnosis or risk is unclear, as is possible danger to her child. Munchausen’s by proxy is a logical possibility. I think anyone involved should monitor this.

Faking pregnancy for sympathy/attention/support/marriage is quite common, in and of itself.

Sincerely,

Dr. P.

[canella]

I did forgive him for this cheating.  I thank everyone for their comments.  I am still wondering about her mental health.  How can someone do something like this and be ok?  There is more then this that she does, the idea that she has  munchausen syndrome has come up.

[Richard Pomerance, Ph.D]

Dear Canella,

You have had input from various people on your question. Please let me know if there is anything I can add.

Sincerely,

Dr. P.

[mami1323]

I don't think the cheating is her issue. They obviously worked through that and she chose to forgive him. Her concern is for the child in this situation.

[vscore]

my concern is why did you stick around for him once he cheated on you?

[mami1323]

I'm not an expert here but she seems pretty unstable.  I don't know how a court of law would feel about taking away a child from a woman that would fake her pregnancy.  Usually they don't take children out of the home unless there is neglect and/or physical and emotional abuse.  If your bf is worried about the well being of his child then he has to be the one to take her to court and petition for full or joint custody and the courts will decide if she is incapable of caring for their child.  This could be a very tough battle to win and could inevitably cause the child more harm.  How does the child act when you have him?  How does he react to going back home with his mother?  The child would have to be evaluated by a professional but like I said this is not an easy case to win.  Good luck.