Convince my friend

[stressdguy]

I am 20 yr old male . Three months back me and my friend went to prostitution . After that i was totally confused about std and other disease even though i had no risk or low risk exporture . My friend tired to convince me and to make me beleive i have no std. But i was disturbed . I went to doctor many times . After two months out of anxiety i called my friend and said you are the reason for my condition and you cheated me . He got angry and broke with me . He was my only friend . Now i am very upset . . I tired to convince him that i spoke without my knowledge. But he is sure that no way he will accept me . I am totally depressed and dont know what to do.

[stressdguy]

He is not educated . He doesnt know english . He is a mechanic . But i am an engineering professional . We both belong to same dance school and became friends . Its been 8 months we has been as friends .

[perch101]

Well yes .......... if he at all seems like the kind of person who is capable of using this information to publicly defame you, or forward it on to a family member - be very wary. If you've been friends for a long time you'll hopefully know him well enough to guage if he's capable of this. Proceed with caution!

[teko]

First of all, I would caution you about what information you put in an email, you must remember that anything put on the Internet is in cyberspace for ever. It could come back to bite, along with what you are writing here. Putting sensitive information that you do not want others to know is always a risk. With that said, as far as the std thing, if you have been cleared, forget it and make sure you do not repeat the behavior that caused this worry.  Problem solved. Secondly, all you can do is apologize to your friend and the ultimate decision is up to him. You cannot go back and undo what you said and if this is a true friend who returns your affections and knows you, a little time and a sincere apology is all it should take. If that does not take care of it, your friend was never your true friend you thought he was, nor your relationship with him all you perceived it to be and you will be forced to acknowledge that and move on.

[perch101]

Okay, thanks for clearing that up! Where are you from?

One thing you could do is put a letter or email to him in writing. Sometimes the written word is taken more seriously than the spoken word.

You could write to him that you realise that although he was the first to bring this up....... you realise he didn't hold a gun to your head and you went as a free man. Then explain that you became so overwhelmed with anxiety and fear that you became irrational and took it out on him. Tell him fear can make you a bit crazy and act not as yourself. Tell him you are sorry and you feel his friendship is important to you and nothing like this will happen again.

Then - once you've send this letter/email the ball is in his court and you will have to wait and see how he responds. If you don't hear anything back I'm afraid you'll have to let it go....... because if you keep contacting him when he dosen't want to hear from you he'll just get annoyed!!

How does that sound? Do you think a letter/email is a good idea or do you think he'd find that strange? I'm a female and that's the sort of thing that I would do that would definetely help, is that something a guy would do?

Best of luck!!!

[stressdguy]

Sorry for my english .I will try to explain .
Yes for everything which you guessed about me
YOU HAVE CLEARLY SCANNED ME .

Answer for your first question is. Its Fact about going to prostitution . It was only him who started to talk about prostitution and i too was interested and finally ended in going to prostitute.It was my first mistake but i said my friend that you only started to talk about prostitution so you are the reason and i also said him that because of you i am going to lose everything (my family ,my studies every thing). .And yes , i went willingly and were not forced to go

Yes for your second question, i spoke when i was stressed and said thing which i normally wouldn't say .I.  

My friend is a kind of person who think like 'once the mirror is broken then its broken for ever ' and he says i have broken it and there is no way of joining together.

i have no way to convince him and totally confused because i lost my only friend . I have no other friends than him . .He was true to me and he has really tried to help me but i spoke to him out of my stress . Please help me .  

[stressdguy]

Sorry for my english .I will try to explain .
Yes for everything which you guessed about me
YOU HAVE CLEARLY SCANNED ME .

Answer for your first question is. Its Fact about going to prostitution . It was only him who started to talk about prostitution and i too was interested and finally ended in going to prostitute.It was my first mistake but i said my friend that you only started to talk about prostitution so you are the reason and i also said him that because of you i am going to lose everything (my family ,my studies every thing). .And yes , i went willingly and were not forced to go

Yes for your second question, i spoke when i was stressed and said thing which i normally wouldn't say .I.  

My friend is a kind of person who think like 'once the mirror is broken then its broken for ever ' and he says i have broken it and there is no way of joining together.

i have no way to convince him and totally confused because i lost my only friend . I have no other friends than him . .He was true to me and he has really tried to help me but i spoke to him out of my stress . Please help me .  

[perch101]

Okay. I was really confused by what you were trying to say in your post so I had a really quick scan through your previous posts and realised that a) Engilish isn't your first language and b) you have many, multiple posts about an irrational fear of STD's.

So with that in mind I re-read this post............ when you write that you said to your friend 'you are the reason for my condition and you cheated me' what do you mean? Do you mean about the anxiety of an STD or the fact you went to a prostitute in the first place? Because I'm sure you realise now that you went willingly and were not forced to go - and what do you mean when you say ' I tired to convince him that i spoke without my knowledge' - do you mean you spoke when you were highly stressed so said things you normally wouldn't day?

Also keep in mind - from your post history it sounds like you have become totally consumed with this irrational fear of contracting something (even though you really had no risk and have been cleard by doctors) - and if you've been constantly seeking reassurace from your friend he may have just got really sick and tired of hearing about your irrational fear.

If you post back and explain these two things in your post I'll try to help.