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Anxiety over liking someone?
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Anxiety over liking someone?

It's hard to write down in words how I'm feeling right now. I have been experiencing so much anxiety and jealousy over this girl that I like. I'm taking her to the winter prom at my school and I've started to really like her because of it. The only problem is I've started to realize that she is kind of slutty. I constantly get jealous that she likes someone else even when she has said lots of things to me that would make anyone believe she likes me. For example she goes to lots of parties and I have constant anxiety that she is having fun with other guys when I want her to have fun with me. I'll get jealous if she takes a picture with another guy and I'll constantly believe that because she took a picture with someone else that means she likes that guy. Please give me some feedback and advice as quickly as possible. Thank you in advance
18 Comments Post a Comment
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13167_tn?1327197724
Rywal,  life is too short if you're the jealous kind to date a flirty girl.
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1268057_tn?1419171505
For starts, are you two a couple or just going to the winter prom together?  If you aren't a couple she can do what she pleases.  

Just because she is very social doesn't mean she is slutty.  And if she is too "slutty" for you why are you going to the winter prom with her and most importantly why are you so overly obsessed with a ****?

Sounds like she is very social and you aren't which is an incompatibility.  

This is more about you than her.  It is apparent you feel less worthy in comparison to other guys.  This is an esteem issue you should address.on your own and not venture into dating or relationships until you resolve this.
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Avatar_m_tn
No she isn't just sociable, she really is slutty. She has told me certain things that easily point out she is slutty. And I asked her to it before I had known she was like that and I don't want t
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Avatar_m_tn
To not go with her because I have no one else to ask
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Avatar_m_tn
And I couldn't go to the party because she is a sophomore and I'm a junior so I don't know those kids
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Avatar_f_tn
You really need to know that because She enjoys going to parties does not mean She is "slutty" !!

AND

If She truly IS "slutty" I wonder why is it that You want so much to be with Her??!!

Seriously!!  Really!! I don't understand why You want to be with this girl (any girl) who is not admirable and respectable in Your opinion, why You would want to be with a Girl that YOU deem to be slutty !!  I really, REALLY don't get this !!
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1268057_tn?1419171505
Tink...........That's my question too.

Why would anyone chase a  s l u t?  Again, ths goes back to self esteem issues.

Will it be the end of the world if you didn't go to this dance being your ONLY choice is to take the school  s l u t?

If you don't really want this then why are you overly concerned with this?




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1268057_tn?1419171505
I would say find BETTER and more IMPORTANT things to worry about.  This girl and/or that dance shouldn't be a worry.

Concentrate on you and your goals for now.  Don't waste your time on someone who does things you dislike and/or disapprove of.

Let me ask you this...........Are you doing this to be more popular?  
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480448_tn?1403547723
I agree with the others, I'm wondering why you're stressed out at ALL about this girl who you yourself speak poorly of?  

It's also kind of sad because you state that you only asked her to the dance because you couldn't get another date, that's not cool, is it?  
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Avatar_m_tn
Let me rephrase. I asked her to the dance because I didn't have anyone else to ask and she was my friend, I had not known to that point that she was in any way slutty. So after I asked her I started to talk to her a lot more and as a result started to like her. She flirted with me a lot which made me think she had started liking me also. All of that happened about a month ago. Then about two weeks ago she had told me something which pointed out she was somewhat slutty, but I guess I didn't want to believe it. I asked my friend (who is friends with this girl) if I should tell her how I feel. My friend then said to try to get over her because she was slutty. My friend told me about the stuff that happened at parties that she would go to. After I heard what she would do I got really upset. But now I can't get her out of my head because I liked her for quite a while without even knowing she was slutty and I don't know what to do.
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Avatar_f_tn
Maybe "slutty" intriques You rather than distresses You ?? !!  

Maybe this is more a question about Your 'desire' for Her than about Her behavior ?? !!

Maybe "slutty" would be okay if it were for You but not with someone else?? !!

'cuz although She MAY be "slutty", You can't "get Her out of Your head"

Look within YourSelf  instead of trying to 'figure' Her out, as in, Why do You want to be with a Girl whose behaviors You don't admire and respect ?? !!

My personal opinion:  

This is about YOU - NOT about Her.  If You are upset about "stuff" She does at parties You should find a girl whose behavior You approve.  Love is a choice - You can CHOOSE to have a GirlFriend who is compatible with Your morals and values.  It really is that simple.  What You see is what what You get.  Don't beg a relationship that You know from the get-go is troublesome for You. You will never be happy that She is, or has been, "slutty" - that would NOT be fair to You, NOR to Her.
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1268057_tn?1419171505
Oh my...........Tink, you hit the nail right on the head.

Well... you are definitely young and confused.  We got the story the first time.  You aren't getting what we are saying is the problem.

My question to you is WHY are you still hung up on this girl after finding out what you know about her?  You act as if you can't change your mind about her or you have no choice about the situation.  

Quit worrying about her and move on with life.  She is not your concern. You were never a couple, so I am not sure why you are obsessing about her. She flirted with you a bit and now you can't let go?  You are investing time and emotions into someone who isn't really into you; you are one of many from the sounds of things.

Why not cancel this winter prom date?  

Hopefully you get what we are trying to say.
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1268057_tn?1419171505
I suggest you get your anxiety issues sorted out.  That's the most important here.
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Avatar_f_tn
thanx Londres70, I appreciate Your insight as well.  

I hope this young man gives serious thought to what has been suggested here.
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973741_tn?1342346373
I am so pleased I am no longer a teenager.  You call her s lutty and what not, that's really rude.  If you haven't had sex with her to learn first hand what she is and isn't willing to do, I would not be part of the rumor mill or buy into it about her.  

I can think of nothing less attractive in a boyfriend than one who called me names behind my back and churned and burned with anxiety over what I was doing.  If she were to write that to me here, I'd tell her to run for the hills as fast as she can from someone that has THAT going on.

I'm not trying to be rude or insult you but I would say you are not ready to be part of the dating scene or having 'relationships'.  You just not be emotionally ready and that is what it sounds like to me.

This is a time to throw yourself into your studies,  How to be attractive to a woman?  Go to college, get a fantastic job, have hobbies and friends and be secure with yourself.  good luck
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1268057_tn?1419171505
DITTO SM!  Definitely unattractive.

Not to be rude, but it is apparent you have some personal issues you need to really sort out before considering dating or having a relationship with anyone.  Perhaps that is why you don't have an array of girls to ask or an array of girls asking YOU to this winter dance.  Get busy working on you and that should distract you from all this.

I am not sure why the anxiety and the jealously over someone who was never yours to begin with.  All this worrying because you "like" this girl?  Seems over the top.  If this is messing with your head that much I will say you need help pronto.  This sounds borderline creepy.

I am not sure what she told you and what someone told you about her to get this title of "slutty," but do her a favor and don't pursue her.  

This is supposed to be your friend and you are talking about her behind her back?  

Like Tink stated beautifully.............look within.  

Slutty or not.............she is NOT your concern.  
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1268057_tn?1419171505
I've read some of your other posts, which are SUPER concerning and I will say liking a slutty girl is the LEAST of your worries.

Get therapy on board like yesterday if you already haven't done that.
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Avatar_m_tn
Thanks for the support!
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