Are you glad your first was your first?

[specialmom]

Oh to be young again!  Oh, okay.  Not really.  That was a great time but I probably wasn't my best self.  How about you?  And so, when you finally decided to make your first your first . . .  are you glad?  Do you regret it and wish you'd waited for someone else?  This is sort of kind of an intimate question so only share what you are comfy with !!  

[ZonnyC]

The short answer=NO!  I regret it to this day.  One of my friends saw him on FB and told me.  He is a 50-something covered in tattoos and abrasive.  What a WASTE of my time.  I was so naive that it took me a couple of years to figure out that he was cheating on me.  You live and you learn.  His parents hated me and didn't approve of the relationship.  I guess they didn't like a young woman with real goals.  LOL!

[UnsureMS]

I dont regret my first...I waited until I felt comfortable and I made him show me that he would be there for me. My first and me were together for 12 yrs. The first time we did anything we had been together 2 yrs and he made it so romantic because he knew I was wanting it be perfect. I only have been with him and my husband, and while it would have been nice to have given myself to my husband. I dont regret my first and I am grateful that it wasnt a story of heart break.

[Nighthawk61]

My first love has stood the test of time, and i still love him so very much. While i grew up in a highly dysfunctional home, he grew up in a loving family, in which i was accepted into by his mom, dad and both his brothers. Their home was my first experience with a loving home.  My acting out got in the way of our relationship going anywhere, i took off as soon as i could 3000 miles as far away as i could fly and he wrote me letters and told me he would wait for me. He was there when i got back, bloodied and broken from an abusive marriage.6 years later. When i had a child and had to fight for custody, he was by my side. But still, I went on and got myself into a 2nd dysfunctional relationship. He was engaged when I lost my 2nd husband and told me he would break his engagement if we could be together. I let him go at that time, so that he could start a new life with the person he had chosen in my absence. I pray that he met and married a good girl from a nice family that could give him what he needed, that could give him what i could not. He was my angel. He doesn't know how important he is to me, I doubt. I pray that he could know that , while i was incapable of showing him my love throughout the years we kept in touch, on the deepest level, i love him for all the love he showed me, with all my heart. His name is Gord , he was my brother, my father, my family my lover, and  remembering his love and loyalty has stayed with me and given me strength through the hardest of times. I wish i had of thought that i was good enough for him. when i was younger. I wish i had of given myself as much credit as he gave me. He saw only the best in me. He was my angel on earth.

[Countrymorninggirl]

I'm really sorry it turned out that way,  I know exactly where you're coming from. So sad. I'm happy he showed you some normalcy and love in life. That was a blessing from above. When people grow up in a lot of dysfunction, and with mental, physical, and verbal abuse with never any affection shown, and I love you's expressed, they end up all screwed up with many scars. You're right about your comment, We never give ourselves enough credit, it's a battle. My first love took his own life just a couple of days after his 18th birthday. In his bedroom, on the floor, leaning against his bed, with his mother and dad in the next room. He took his 357mag and shot himself in the neck, blew his head off. That was when my life spiraled even more out of control. When we met, we were both 13yrs old and I left my moms home to live with his family. I went from the frying pan into the fire, there was a lot more dysfunction in his family than what had been going on in mine. That's exactly why he took his life, he felt there was no hope in life, just a sorrowful place. So sad!! :'( My life had a complete turn around many years later because of Jesus. I wont go into detail but with all the scars and battles, still that I have to deal with on a daily basis, I am so so blessed, just like you. God is good. My kids, don't have a clue about that kind of upbringing. They have been shown lots of love and stability, not perfection, but love, lots of love. There is hope!!

[ZonnyC]

God is good.

[Countrymorninggirl]

Yes ;)

[Countrymorninggirl]

I wasn't my best self and he wasn't his best self, but it was, what it was. Even though we both were very dysfunctional, a mess from our crazy dysfunctional upbringings, I loved him and he loved me with the only love we knew, a dysfunctional love. And I wouldn't have changed him in for anyone else. He was my first love!! Through all the heartache, abuse, and dysfunction I was molded and shaped into the person I am today, and I wouldn't and couldn't change that. I am happy with who I am, what kind of person I turned out to be. Even with all the struggles and mental battles, all the stuff that tries to keep me in bondage to my past, I am blessed. I give Jesus all the glory.