Broke up with my boyfriend. Worried I'll give in!

[icouldusesomebody]

I was with my boyfriend for 2 years from when I was 15-17 (now).
He has gotten me through a lot with family problems and just really the path I was taking.
He has made me into a better person and for that I will always love him.
The last couple of months I felt myself staying with him because I cared about him and didn't want to hurt him.
But I was hurting myself.
So, we just broke up and we have broken up about 2 other serious times, but he always cons me to getting back with him. I finally decided this time it was for real because he is a few years older then me (21) and he wants a full on serious relationship that i realized I am really not ready for. He propose, wants me to live with him, and all that.
I don't want to give in because I know it wont last and I have fallen out of love with him. And I know if we were to get back together it would just be a pro-longed break up and make it worse when the time actually came.
I need some advice on how not to give in because I'm not a very strong person when it comes to stuff like that.
I am going to try and keep myself busy by hanging out with old friends who I havent seen for awhile because of my ex-boyfriend.
If someone could help me out by maybe telling me how they got over or kept strong?
Thanks.

[mjml]

Babe i know exactly how you feel, I was with my ex for 4years and had the same situation, I wasn't strong just like you say u are but in actually fact your stronger then you think, its all in your head, you've followed your heart and thats the hardest thing to do so now just keep yourself busy with your friends you havent seen in so long like i did & stay out of his way. it will be stressful on some days and gets easier in time and 2years on I've been with my boyfriend who is amazing for a year and i'm so much happier then i ever was with my ex. Good luck babe and if you just want to vent about your ex send me a message x

[pain309]

Tell him you slept with someone else and I guartee you he will not talk to you again!!!

[jsavat]

Also if the path you were on before him wasn't that great maybe instead of your old friends you should find new ones and start the life you want now.  Make friends with people that will be going the same direction in life as you. Just don't let this breakup be a reason to make bad decisions or go back down dreadful paths of the past.  You sound like a smart girl, so keep doing the right thing and build the life you want with the people you want in it!  Your future is in your hands and there is no better time then the present to start making steps towards a good one for yourself.  Good luck to you :)

[icouldusesomebody]

Oh and yes I told him a few reasons why it was over. I told him I was young, needed to live my life, I didnt feel the same way about him, but i also told him I love him and always will.

[icouldusesomebody]

Well the good thing about the phone calls thing is I dont have a cell at the moment and I dont think he will attempt to be calling my mothers house.
He came over today tp bring me my stuff that was at his place and he asked if we could hang out, but I said no.
And I know I should for sure not talk to him because thats what got me to go back all the other times, but its so hard because hes not a bad guy. You know?
But keeping in contact with him will only give him some hope and I dont want to lead him on and I dont want him to be able to get me back to the point where I want to be with him.
Last night I wanted to call him, but i made sure I didnt.
My whole weekend is booked with friends and most of next week and the next weekend! Which I know is going to help a lot. Also, it will be good because I lost contact with a lot of good friends.
With the diary idea. I had one, but it was all about him and most of the time all we had was good times. I just need to keep in my head that talking to him or getting back with him would only hurt him even more.

Thanks for all of your advice. Its very helpful and was much needed!
I will keep you guys posted..
=D Thanks!

[mami1323]

While you're at it, change your number to.  This way you won't feel the need to pick up when he calls or feel bad for ignoring him.  That urge will not be there.  You are very smart for this decision.  Not many people can make such a mature decision.  Good luck and I think you are on the right track.

[Myown]

I agree with the posters, cut ALL contact and hopefully you will be able to move on. If you keep contact of any kind - phone, emails or text message, it will be harder to get him out of your mind.

Good luck!

[Shara21]

babypooh really hit the nail on that one!
Cutting contact is SOoooo important....
I am the queen of being weak in breakups and have, in previous relationships, broken up and gotten back together with the same person many times!!! Good for you for being able to realize that it wont make things better, nor easier! Smart girl =)
Be prepared to be sitting up awake at night and really really WANT to call him, (what harm could one phone call do?) but stay strong!
Going out with your friends and keeping yourself busy is the BEST thing you can do right now!
I dont know if this will be help but i've always kept a journal and that has always helped be stay strong, I find that when we are in the situation we are able to clearly see what we want or dont want, but then when we break up I tend to only focus on the good times, which I of course miss. Being able to go back and read my journal entries really help me bring the relationship back to reality and made me remember why we broke up in the first place.
Best of luck! keep us posted with how you're doing!!!

[babypooh]

It's important to cut all contact in a situation like that. I know it's hard and you don't want to appear to be mean, but you need to do what is best for yourself. Did you talk to him about your reasons to break up? Does he know you're not in love anymore? You seem to be smart about it; you're aware that it would only drag the break up process if you get back with him. It's good that you realize that. Don't give in and continue being strong. Going out with friends will be good therapy for  you. Good luck!