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Cheating Boyfriend or Husband
OK Ladies,this question is for you.We get alot of cheating posts on this particular forum and I have to say most of the time it's the man who's the cheat.If your man cheated would you take him back or is it over and done with.Please explain either way.Yes or No and Why.Thankyou.
Sadly, if my boyfriend/husband cheated on me i would never be able to take him back honestly. It doesnt matter how much i love him, i would never trust him again. I would try, but in the end i would always be suspicious and wary. I would still let him have a relationship with our son, but the relationship between me and him would end. Ive grown in a household where both my parents cheated on each other and they put me and my siblings through hell. I would never want to live in a state of not trusting my husband, it would drive me crazy:/
"If your man cheated would you take him back or is it over and done with.Please explain either way.Yes or No and Why.Thankyou."
I'd take him back of course. A person can make a mistake and have remorse. I wouldn't let one mistake destroy my marriage, it couldn't anyhow because I love my Husband that much. I don't think he would cheat, but thats my answer if I found myself in that situation. And could my marriage be restored like new or back to what it was? Yes I believe it could. Forgiveness is instant upon saying "I forgive you,"but restoration takes some time, and patience during that process is key.
I'd take him back of course. A person can make a mistake and have remorse. I wouldn't let one mistake destroy my marriage, it couldn't anyhow because I love my Husband that much. I don't think he would cheat, but thats my answer if I found myself in that situation. And could my marriage be restored like new or back to what it was? Yes I believe it could. Forgiveness is instant upon saying "I forgive you,"but restoration takes some time, and patience during that process is key.
I know this post is 10 days old, but I'm going to answer your original post (I didn't read any of the other comments, by the way, so if this has already been said, apologies):
If a man cheats on a woman, or a woman cheats on a man, I think the question that the cheatee (person that was cheated on) has to ask themselves is... can I ever TRUST the person again?
I think it has very little, if anything, to do with how much you love the person and has everything to do with trust.
You may love the person with all your heart and soul, but if you don't trust a single word that comes out of their mouth, or a single action they take, then your love is being misapplied.
It's all about trust.
Love is universal, but trust must be earned.
If a man cheats on a woman, or a woman cheats on a man, I think the question that the cheatee (person that was cheated on) has to ask themselves is... can I ever TRUST the person again?
I think it has very little, if anything, to do with how much you love the person and has everything to do with trust.
You may love the person with all your heart and soul, but if you don't trust a single word that comes out of their mouth, or a single action they take, then your love is being misapplied.
It's all about trust.
Love is universal, but trust must be earned.
I chose not to tell my Children. They ADORED Their Father and I felt I was protecting Them. This backfired on me BIG TIME. My Sons never forgave me for leaving Their Dad. I simply told them I was only 15 y.o. when I married him and that as I grew and matured I came to not love him anymore. They were unable to accept that. They came to know the truth after They were adults but my Sons have never reconciled with me. One Son has been away for 22 years, my Baby Son is dead, so that opportunity is gone. I was embarassed and humilited by what my husband was doing and I did my best to hide it. I was very young and I thought it was my shortcoming that caused him to cheat, that there was something wrong with me. It took YEARS for me to realize there was something wrong with HIM - that it was HIS shame, not mine. Of course, there were still many people who knew what was going on and that's how my Children came to know the truth. If I could do it all over again, I would tell my Children why I could no longer stay married to Their Dad but it's too late for me. I will NEVER recover the 22 YEARS I have lost with my 1st Son and there is no chance now with my Baby Son.
Having said all this my advise would be not to tell Your Children if You stay in the marriage. There is no point in them knowing what You have kept to YourSelf all this time - but if You decide to leave Your husband I would tell them the truth.
My heart is heavy for You. I feel Your anguish.
Having said all this my advise would be not to tell Your Children if You stay in the marriage. There is no point in them knowing what You have kept to YourSelf all this time - but if You decide to leave Your husband I would tell them the truth.
My heart is heavy for You. I feel Your anguish.
Hello.I see that you are an excellent advice giver.I did not want to tell anyone my problem but perhaps I was sent to this site for a reason.I've been married for over 50 years,have 9 children,They are all grown up and married,have great jobs,love their other half and have children. How do I tell them or should I tell that my husband ,their father gave me Chamydia.I love my husband very much but don't know what to do.My doctor said that I'm negative now [ had treatment] but I had the same disease 2 to 5 years ago.My husband said he never cheated on me I DO NOT BELIEVE HIM. I had the feeling at one time that he was cheating on me with a young man about 20 to 30 years old. He keeps denying it,HE keeps telling me he loves me even when his lover left something on my side of the bed.WE used to go to church every Sunday and I was involved in many clubs where we live. He knows that I never slept with anyone but he keeps denying his unfaithfulness.If he is bisexual is that a disease or a way of life for him.? I do not want to hurt our children with this info but please advise.Thank you.This is the short story of what he has done thur the many ,many years of marriage.I am youger than he is ,he is 81 yrs old.
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I would NEVER tolerate it married or not, children or no children. Why should ANYONE have to? I am not going to stay and enable his "bad behavior". Plus, children KNOW when something isn't right between their parents. They can be AMAZINGLY intuitive.
I have never been cheated on to my knowledge, but if my husband did and I found out I am 200% SURE divorce proceedings would ensue. I am independent and can very well support myself with or without him. I love my husband but I surely wouldn't let him make a "fool" out of me. I have had family members and friends going through this.......it obviously is extremely painful. Then, some of them stayed in the relationship or marriage and the man does it AGAIN, but the cheater goes about it in a DIFFERENT manner trying not to get caught like the first time. Oh brother.......forget it.
For those who DO attempt to stay, they should DEFINITELY be running not walking to a therapist WITH the "cheater" in tow trying to figure out the who, where, what and why of the situation QUICK.
I feel for you RainLover71, you sound remorseful, but she is hurting. I am sure the situation shattered her self-worth, etc. Now that you know better I am sure you will do better.