Cheating husband has babies

[handkelly2]

I have been with my husband for a while. We have 2 teenage children together. I love him a lot. I just found out that he just had a baby with another woman outside our marriage. The baby is 3 months old. He has another child by a different woman as well outside of our marriage. He has had 2 babies by 2 different women while we are married. I  was fighting the other  woman the other day and stood by my husband in front of her. I did not make him leave or anything. I am not sure if something is wrong with me for the fact that I stay with him. Should I leave him? Can someone give me any advice on how to handle this.

[TTinKKerBBell]

I SO agree with NurseGirl in that He is disrespecting You!!
AND
He is desrepecting His Children with You, AND He's disrespecting the Other Women AND He's disrespecting the Children He has with them!!

Why would You "stand by Your Husband in front of Her" ??!!  I don't get this.  He has demeaned You ALL (You, Her, ALL the Children He has sired) - He does not deserve "support" from anyone - He darned well hasn't earned it!!

You asked "should I leave Him"?  I vote Yes!!

.......Or You can stay and be prepared for the future in Your knowledge that Your Husband Is A Cheat!!  That He Cheats on You, He Cheats on Other Women (past, present, future) AND He cheats on ALL the Children He has made.... and all the Children He has YET to make.  In staying and in "standing by Him in front of the Other Women" You are validating His behavior.  

You, the Other Women and ALL the Children do not deserve this.

[nursegirl6572]

Yes, the innocent children are the REAL victims (ALL of them, your teens too!).  

You tell this woman she won't get anything from him?  Sorry, but that's really inappropriate.  You shouldn't be having ANY contact with her, for starters.  Also, she deserves child support for the baby HE made, and I hate to tell you this, but depending on the way your household is set up, YOUR income very well could be used in figuring out what his financial liability is to these children.  Happened to my best friend...they used HER income as well as her husband's to determine how much child support he would pay for HIS kids.

I sincerely hope the women sue him for gobs of child support.  He needs to be seriously held accountable for his terrible choices and being a deadbeat dad.  What would be scary to me is wondering how MANY children were out there that he has fathered?  It wouldn't be a stretch to imagine there are more.

Your husband is disrepecting you to a level that just should NOT be okay, and I think you need to explore why you settle for that...with a professional.  I surely hope you've had very thorough STD testing, and often...as he obviously cheats pretty frequently, and uses no protection.  That in itself is despicable.  Husbands are supposed to protect their wives, not put them in more danger...risking awful diseases like HIV, Hepatitis, herpes, etc.

YOU and your kids deserve so much better...so do all of the women he's fathered kids with and their children.  Like SM said, your anger is MAJORLY misplaced.  Your husband is certainly not an honest man, so God knows WHAT he has told these women.  They could be as big a victim as you are in this.  You need to immediately take your focus off of them and put it where it belongs...with your husband.  HE'S the one and the ONLY one who is accountable to you...and he hasn't been, not at all.  You need to realize that every little aspect of how you are handling this situation will speak VOLUMES to your children.  Parents lead by example...think of all of the really messed up messages your kids are getting, watching all of this unfold around them.  THEY need to be your top priority.

You and your kids deserve FAR better than this man...he hasn't been a husband to you in a LONG time.  I sure hope you find the strength to move on, and leave him in the dust, where he belongs...and if you do, I surely hope you use the court system to make him legally and financially accountable for the children you two created.  He's been given enough free passes.  SOMEONE needs to start telling him "no".

Very best to you!!

[specialmom]

By the way, don't get me wrong.  You are a victim of his horrible deeds as well.  You were innocent too.  but don't 'join his team of evil deeds by siding with him in being a creep!

[specialmom]

But see, this is where you are blaming the wrong person.  It's not the 'mother' that needs the money . ..   it is this poor innocent child.  That is really unfortunate that this child must endure having NO dad and that the dad doesn't want this child to have a decent life by helping to provide for something he should be HALF responsible for.

Don't you see where this is skewed thinking?  My heart hopes that this woman takes your husband to the cleaners and makes him have much much less to live on himself as he deserves that.  I honestly feel that way.

What's done is done.  He needs to take care of his responsibilities financially and so very sad that it 'isn't much' that anyone gets from him. What havoc this prize you live with has put upon other's lives.  Including you.  

Very disappointing that you support him in being like this.  good luck

[handkelly2]

No.He does not see the baby. The other child he has, he pays court ordered child support but it is not a lot. I told the recent woman that she will not get much from him after she said that she will file for support.

[specialmom]

I would lose most if not all my respect for him.  He makes kids---  but does he care for them, pay for them, see them?  Maybe it is convenient for you that he doesn't but sure is a shmuck thing to do.  And he is ripe for a paternity suite requiring financial support.  

Very embarressing for your teenagers as well.  they should be shielded as best you can from the character (lack of) in their father.

I wouldn't fight with these other women.  Who knows what this man told them---  he's been lying to you by omission all this time as well, hasn't he?  I don't support the 'other women' very often but your husband sounds like a bad kind of dude.  He knows how babies are made, right?  Yet, two?  

It is definately up to you.  although, I think this marriage has been full of fakeness for a long time.  Easy enough to continue that but am just not sure if you should be willing to do that.

I do wish you luck.  hard one.  How sorry is your husband by the way?  

[RockRose]

This is up to you - but beyond having a man who cheats,  I think it would irritate me more that he keeps dropping these babies that he obviously isn't taking care of.

[Life360_Dave]

Well this is a tough one. Since your husband (?) is sleeping around and having children then the answer is obvious. But if your financial well being is an issue, i would make this the top priority. I would do some research on how much alimony and child support you will receive, do the math then make your move. I believe what he is doing is also illegal as a marriage is a binding contract which he has broken.
Also you should consider the possibility of contracting STD's as obviously he is not using condoms.