I love my husband more than life itself, I can't imagine a world without him, and unfortunately he has Chronic Pancreatitis. His CP causes awful, painful nights and even days, so I stand by his side and aid him. He doesn't usually say when he's not feeling good, because truly I think it's all the time, but he has better days then some. I love being intimate with him, sometimes I miss it and sometimes I know I need to tend to his needs more than worry about sex. Should I discuss with him that we set up a plan or schedule, or that he tells me when he's feeling up for it? When we are being intimate, I know I should be careful with him but HOW??? What can I do that will please him without hurting him? Let it be noted that whatever happens I will always be there for him, in sickness and in health, until death do us part!
I don't know how long your husband has been suffering or how severe it is. I know when I finally was diagnosed with it ibuprofen worked just fine. I have progressed to the point of needing narcotics and I usually end up in the ER at least once a month. I generally never feel good whether its pain or nausea. I actually keep a pain journal is which is a good snap shot of what and when it happens. I have no real pattern myself but maybe he does. My husband will ask me if I wouldl like to be intimate and no matter how much I want him and I do want him I just couldn't at that time. Still we manage to be intimate about 2x a week. Since it sounds like you have a very loving relationship if it were me I would ask "Is there a better time during the day or week that would be better for you?" Usually between me and my husband a gentle I miss you lets him and I know that we need each other in a loving way. It actually hurts when we can't show the ones we love how we feel in that most intimate way. Your husband loves you and appreciates you. Like I said your concerns are valid and I'm sure after talking about it you'll both come to an agreement.