While not technically an STD I am prone to a couple cold sores a year since I was young and it has never sat well with me to the point where I have avoided serious relationships. I told myself it was fine, but now at 26 I am thinking I may need someone after all. The social norm seems to be disclose on a need to know basis, i.e. if I think I am starting to get a cold sore just put a moratorium on kissing/oral until it was more than passed, but I am deathly afraid to pass one off on someone. I know statistically 70% etc etc., but I cant help but feel guilty and even to disclose early on I would still feel afraid even if she was willing to accept the risk. Thoughts?
you should do some research on the the Sexually transmitted Diseases forum. It is hosted by Dr. Hunter Hansfield and he is VERY knowledgeable on these matters. Oral herpes (aka cold sores) is NOT an STD & is not the same as genital herpes, btw...
Lots of ppl (including myself) have oral herpes and do not have genital herpes and lead a completely normal sex life..
Are you kidding me with that question??? A friggin mouth cold sore makes you avoid a relationship? People get those when they are kids drinking from each others' glass. Most people get them. To avoid a relationship b/c of this is downright stupid. I've been getting cold sores on my mouth since I was a kid and I don't have genital herpes from them nor have I given the oral herpes to someone.
If you feel compelled, say I get cold sores on my mouth. I say it to ppl and nobody has ever turned me down. And if you say it and she runs, she's a moron and you're better off w/o her. I'm sorry but this is a really ridiculous. Of course, if you have a cold sore on your mouth, ppl will see it anyway so no need to tell. And if you have a cold sore don't have oral sex. So, unless you are planning on running around performing oral sex on ppl when you have a cold sore, or even kissing ppl when you have one, I'd say you don't have to worry about passing it on.
Even if you do meet someone with genital herpes HSV2, don't avoid a relationship with that person. People are more than herpes. They have hearts and souls and that is what really matters anyway. There are ways to avoid transmission of HSV2 to your partner.
And it's not like genital herpes will kill you, make you sterile, cause cancer or ruin your organs. It's a benign virus however if you do have genital herpes, you should tell someone before having sex.
On the STD forum, watch for Grace's replies. She's very knowledgable about herpes. You could learn alot from her.
Now John, go get some therapy and figure out why you are really afraid of having a relationship.
I know it's irrational and ridiculous...but I needed to hear it. Just always been really paranoid about it and even though I read all the stats and know numerous people personally who get them and don't seem to mind I have never been comfortable with it. That said I probably am making excuses. I just have trouble asking people about it so an anonymous forum seemed like a good idea. The more I get told I am being unreasonable the more I am able to trivialize it like most seem to be able to.
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