I've been married for 10 years to a wonderful man, but we grew apart after we started a family. Most of our time is spent taking care of the house and kids. We forgot about the importance of taking care of our relationship. I ended up falling in love with a co-worker. We've been seeing each other for 3 years now. My husband knows that I've fallen in love with another man. We came to the agreement that we should separate, but financially cannot. Because of this issue, it has caused so much stress for everyone this past year. The other man began to verbally abuse me by calling me names and making me depressed. I try talking to him about the things he does that hurts me, but he ends up turning things around and blaming me. We never seem to be able to communicate. I end up getting so angry and frustrated. I realize now the mistake I made. The love we once had will never come back, although at times I hope and pray that if I am able to afford my own place, perhaps things would be good again. Several times I try to break it off, but find myself longing for him again. I feel like a victim and can't get out of this cycle! In the meantime, my husband tries his best to save our marriage only for the sake of the kids. I know I probably deserve all this pain, but I'm so sad, depressed, and confused. I cry myself to sleep and just closed myself off from friends and family. I just need some advice.
If you husband will take you back, really try to make this happen as you have much invested.
I think, instead of chasing romance, try to put more time into developing your creative talents to fullfill this need. Try writing poetry or a book or take up painting or photography. This need you have is for self realization, not another love affair.