Does he just want to be friends

[dano777]

Hi again, I met this guy online and we have been talking for a year on msn and stuff.  Anyways I moved to where he lives for school and we finally hungout yesterday.  A couple weeks ago he said he might get back together with his ex which is fine and friends is good.  Well we hungout all day on monday and didn't want to take me home.  He is very very hard to read.  Very serious.  All we did was drive around for 5 hours then he finally took me home but wanted to hangout that night.  Anyways after supper we hungout and he took me on top of a mountain to overlook the city.  We were drinking.  Well it was midnight and still wanted to hangout.  We came back and played wii for a bit.  Then we watched tv and he fell asleep on my bed.  I woke him up and he said do you want me to go home and I said its fiine.  Then he fell asleep again but it was 2am so I kinda wanted him to go home cause it was late and awkard he was sleeping in my bed and I was in the corner.  So I told him he had to go home.  He didn't seem like he wanted too.  Then he went home and texted me saying he was sorry.  I'm not to sure why but he did.  I have not talken to him since.  What is going on here?

[perch101]

Specialmom has given you good advise - from your multiple posts on these issues you come accross as very clingy and needy. A big turn off for most people. As you are finding and experiencing - you have multiple posts of guys pulling away from you once they see these aspects of you. Sorry to sound harsh - but you don't seem to get subtle!

What you really need to do is become happy, secure and fulfilled within yourself - NOT trying to find someone to 'complete' you create these things for you.

Trust me - 'like attracts like' - if you are happy in yourself you'll give out good positive vibes - and you'll attract someone  similar.

Stop looking for mister right and concentrate on yourself,  then when you achieve this THEN be open to meeting someone.

So no - inviting guys that are clearly not returning your attentions to your birthday is not a good idea. They have made their feelings clear enough.

[specialmom]

See, now this is what I am talking about.  A bit of a disconnect.  They do not seem interested and you seem WAY too interested.  Read the above advice.  Yes, it is a bad idea to invite them.  None of them are that nice to you, return your texts or interest, or seem to want to date you in any way.  I'm sorry to be so blunt but that disconnect seems to make me feel I have to in order for you to hear me.  

You need to not date and work on some issues going on with you.  I am not sure if it is a self esteem issue or your approach but until you address that, your love life will be difficult for you.  good luck

[dano777]

i wanted both the guys to come to my birthday though this weekend :(, is it a bad idea to invite them?

[specialmom]

I think what concerns me is there is a little disconnect.  That would make three guys with very similar stories in the past month of your posts.  An ex that you wanted to cuddle with on your birthday that didn't call you back, a guy that you met on line and went to his place and slept over and sex didn't happen and you don't want it to and he does and then he stopped texting/calling you, another guy at a bar that it was HIS birthday and he wasn't treating you well (complete jerk----- your words) and now this guy that you've been writing to for a year and the story above.  

Hm.  Dano----------- stop trying to date for a while. Dead serious.  I think you are trying too hard and trying to turn guys into boyfriends that aren't interested in that.  

Make some good girl friends to hang out with in your new town.  Get a nice group of friends going and explore your own areas of interest.  Then meeting a guy will be more natural and you'll have a lot to offer them vs. just availability.  

Wish you lots of luck.

[dano777]

no different guy

[Ashelen]

This doesn't sound like a promising relationship to me, to be honest..is this the same guy you've posted about several times?

I just...I don't get where the problem is. neither of you seem totally interested...this doesn't seem like a "complete" relationship..I would just cut my losses and move on...and I would NOT look online for relationships. I know one or two people that it's worked for, but you end up with all of these awkward situations and it's a whole lot easier to date face to face....

just my opinion. but really, is this the same guy? I think it's time to just put him behind you maybe.

[dano777]

we usually communicate by msn and he hasn't been on msn at all.  Yesterday he wasn't on at all.  He was on for a couple seconds but I signed off cause I had to get to class.  and he hasn't today either.

[dano777]

i lost my profiles so I just use this one now

[dano777]

my mental state is fine, just trying to meet people in a new city.  And moving on from one guy to the next cause they do not treat me right.  I'm 20.

[specialmom]

Hon, this is I don't know how many times you 've posted the same thing.  I'm concerned about your mental stability to be honest.  

The story has one or things that change or sometimes nothing---------  but you've had a couple of profiles and gotten lots of advice about the same situation.

How old are you?

[Judy246]

Although you have been in an internet relationship for quite some time with this guy, it's different when you meet face to face. I would take it slow and see where this leads and it all depend on how you feel about the guy and how he feels about you after meeting. In person is a whole new game, so slow down, don't expect much at this time and see where it will go. Good luck!

[Gotmoxy]

From what I see, it sounds like this guy really likes you, but doesn't know how to tell you. He brought up the notion of getting back together with his ex to see what kind of reaction he could get out of you, and then he would know how to act from there on. You were "ok" with it, and happy to remain friends. This probably left him confused as to whether you were really ok or jealous. Do you like this guy? If you do, you need to let him know. People waste alot of time disguising their true feelings. You've got nothing to lose by telling him how you really feel. If he still has feelings for his ex, so be it. You think he's hard to read, but he probably thinks the same as you. You haven't spoken to him since that incident at your place, because he's probably a little embarrassed about overstaying his welcome, and not sure how you felt about the situation. Give him a text and invite him over for a chat. That way the two of you can figure out what really is going on between the two of you. Keep us updated!