Ex gave,me HPV and has new gf...should i tell him?

[msbk]

Ladies and gents I have been having issues with my ex for over the last yr. Brief background we broke,up last May...started talking again in Oct..and we continued a sexual relationship. In June I had to cut it off bc I knew he had no intentions of wanting to be with me and I just didn't want a pure sexual relationship. Well I ended finding out from my gyno I had HPV and I know I got it from him! I haven't told him that I have HPV. Now as of this past weekend I found out he's in a relationship with this girl he's talked a ton of **** about to me and shes been engaged 3x! I just feel stupid and pissed bc he played me! How in a month of seeing me and having sex with me he's all of a sudden in a relationship. He obviously was seeing me and that girl at the same time. Now I'm conflicted...should I tell him about the HPV or leave it alone and should I address his character and tell him how shady of a person he is to treat,me like that?

Any advice would be great.

[specialmom]

Glad it helped and now you both can move on and do what you need to do to take care of yourselves.  Peace and good luck  Come back to the forum any time!!

[msbk]

Ladies I told him today! I wanna thank you all for helping me make the right choice! Thanx :-)

[msbk]

Thanx ladies! I'm gonna do it later today. I will let u all know how it goes.

[specialmom]

Oh no.  previously everyone said that you SHOULD tell him and you didn't want to.  I misread what you wrote.  I still think you should tell your ex and then move on.  You've done your good deed at that point and you are free of the situation.  Sorry for misunderstanding what you had said.  good luck

[nursegirl6572]

Okay well that's great...then tell him, buit like I said....keep it factual, no finger pointing.  That won't get you anywhere.  Just tell him you wanted him to be aware, so that he could then, in turn tell anyone he's been with.

[msbk]

Um, that's the point. I have always had a normal pap before my ex. Than when I got with him I had all sorts,of issues. So this is most def something I got from him. He's the only person I've ever had unprotected sex with. So its him w/o a doubt.well I wanna tell know bc as a women with HPV I understand how it can be a serious matter if not monitoried. Once again I wanna tell him so he can rightfully inform his gf that he probably has it and let her make an informed decision on if she wants to continue or not. This is not an out of spite thing at all.

[nursegirl6572]

Have you been tested for HPV before to know you didn't already have it?  Sadly, it's pretty common.  You may have had it and not known it.  Unless you tested negative for it prior to having a sexual relationship with your ex, there's no way of knowing if he gave it to you or not.

Specialmom states that you were advised before to tell your ex, she didn't say you were advised to tell the girl.  It seems that the only reason you want to inform him of the HPV is out of anger and spite.  I am not saying that to be mean...that's just the impression your post gives.

People newly diagnosed with any STD have a responsibility to inform any prior partners they had that may also be infected.  You would want someone to tell YOU if they found out they had a disease...you should do the same.

When you inform him, do so factually, with no finger pointing, as it's impossible to prove who gave what to whom.  Even if he was infected and gave it to you, he may not have known he was infected.  This serves as a great reminder of the importance of using protection and having frequent STD screens if one is sexually active.  When we enter into a sexual relationship with someone (especially when we're not in a committed relationship)...we have to realize that there are risks involved in having unprotected sex.  The ONLY person who is responsible for your health, is you...not any of your partners, or their exes, etc.

Good luck to you.

[msbk]

Um I wasn't asking if I should tell the gf. I was reluctant before bc I didn't know how he was gonna react...but now that he's with someone else I def thought I should,say something now so he can be informed and she could decide be informed about possible things that could affect her health. I don't know the girl so I wasn't gonna go out my way to tell her.

Now since everyone seems to be saying no I will just leave it alone I guess

[specialmom]

Dear, you totally posted about this before.  The advice then was to tell your ex boyfriend.  You were so very reluctant.  Now HE is the one who gave it to you and you want to know if you should tell his girlfriend?  

No.  Go on with your life and leave her alone.  good luck

PS:  you seem a tiny bit obsessed with the ex.  Move on.  If you are having trouble doing so and have anger issues, therapy may benefit you.  good luck