Fear of dying alone!?

[SweetiePie411]

I have a fear of never finding the right guy and never getting married. I guess because I have never had a boyfriend yet. I really wanna get married someday and start a family with the guy I love. I just can't believe that my true love is ever gonna come. Yes, I'm young at only 14, but I get paranoid often about this. Also, I have always kinda been on the chubbier side, which always lowers my self-esteem about the whole situation. I have never really even attempted to ask a guy out because of the fear of rejection. Someone please assure me that it will happen one day. I guess this topic is just one of those things where I just need to be reassured. Thanks to anyone who answers!

Everybody on this site is just truly amazing and inspirational.

[Judy246]

"Take your time young lady and don't you rush to get old"....right now, you are making yourself crazy thinking way too much with the "what if's". You are making yourself your own worst enemy, thinking too much, causing insecurities, doubts and paranoia.

You are only 14 and your focus should not be in finding the right guy, marriage, starting a family.
Those are adult issues and you have some time ahead of you.

Right now you need to begin by accepting yourself and loving yourself as you are and for who you are. Your life is just beginning. You have a long future ahead of you and all of desires in life, will happen and will fall into place at the right time.

Start with accepting yourself set goals that are reachable right now. You need to become educated. Focus on being the best that you can be in school. Join activities. Don't worry about friends, because if you are yourself, your personality is going to shine through and people will want to be around you and with you and that also includes guys at the right time. So, priorize, take care of yourself, appearance, health, then organize you school, study time, social time with friends activities..that should be your focus and I promise you that all the rest will happen naturally and when you are not looking or stressing over it.

We all fear rejection and it is part of life, it happens to us all, but if you build up your self confidence, you can stand up to everything life will throw your way, so once again, take your time young lady, don't you rush to grow old, it will happen I promise when you least expect it ok.
Best of luck and you will be just fine...remember focus on school first!

[Judy246]

p.s. I saw your picture and you are as cute as can be and I know you won't have any problems in life, just don't be your own worst enemy. Love yourself, be good to yourself and be a free spirited teen and live will be good to you ok...Judy

[jo929]

i remember answering a post you had concerning boys, and let me say that boys at 14 should be the last thing on your mind, i was vot allowed to date at 16 unless my brother went along i know things have changed, but try reading the teen pg column you should concentrate on studys and good times, and when you least expect it the boys will start flocking around you, so choose wisely, your pic shows a lovely young lady you have not finished high school or even went to college yet, also think of the future and what you truly want out of life besides boys Judy is right about loving yourself if you feel good about yourself then others will be comfortable around you just be yourself you are trying to rush life, and it passes soon enough  luck  jo

[wildflower77]

Honey stop trying to grow up so fast and enjoy your childhood!  You haven't even finished going through puberty yet so your body is still changing.  I was sort of like you at 14...always worried about having a boyfriend, body image, getting out into the world and away from my parents, etc.  Now I'm 31 and wish I could go back to the simpler times in my life!  Believe me having kids is a joy that I would never give up, but I could do without the house and car payments and all the bills and responsibilities!  If you're anything like me, though, you'll have to learn the hard way and you'll figure all this out around the age of 25.  That's when I looked in the mirror and said "oh my God...my mother was right..."

[mami1323]

Boyfriend schmoyfriend, it's not all it's cracked up to be hon.  Especially at your age.  All boys want is a girl they can walk the halls with and fool around with.  They aren't looking for some long term commitment.  Your focus should be having fun with friends and school.  Take your time, you will be glad you did.

[teko]

Truthfully!  If you only knew how much better off you would be to put all that stuff on the back burner. You are waaaay to young to be thinking sooooo seriously! Enjoy being 14, then enjoy being 15, getting your license, buying your prom dress and all that and leave the woes of the world to those older folk out there to worry about!  I promise you, you need not be concerned. You will be fine! lol

[AHP84]

Trust me, the chances of you never finding true love and dying alone is like a fraction of a percent. You seem to be a very intelligent, independent, generous, and an easy-going young lady who knows exactly what you expect of yourself in life. All you need to concern yourself with is keeping that up! You know why? Because a few years down the road from now, those traits about you are going to be what attracts a wonderful man. ☺
It won't matter how you physically look, or dress, or talk, etc (I just got married to Mr. Perfect and I'm *definitely* nothing special--I'm kinda dorky, I have a big nose, I don't wear makeup, I don't dress girly, and I'm a total klutz who can trip over my own feet while standing still). A good man will see you and love you for who you are, and who you know yourself to be, and will not try to change you.
However, boys at your age are too immature to see that, as are girls at this age to see such exceptional things in a good man. Not that that's a bad thing...it's just immaturity due to lack of life experiences, which you will gain and earn for yourself during the teen years and early 20s...and of course through the rest of your lifetime, but I'm referring to just reaching a point of finding and establishing a committed relationship with the opposite sex.
Like I said earlier, just keep your mind focused on what you expect of yourself and know or figure out what you want in of life. Make yourself someone who you yourself is proud of and proud to be.
Then just wait for the right man who appreciates and loves that about you to come along--I can assure you, it won't take long once you're a little older. ☺

[imanaddict]

I remember those days and being your age and I was somewhat the same way. I was too focused on boys when I should have been focused on school. I didn't go to college because I was in a 7 year abusive relationship (physically, mentally and emotionally) and he wouldn't let me go to the store by myself, much less go to school. I ended up pregnant and left him when I was 6 months along. About a year and a half of struggling to support myself and my son, I met my current husband who had a son. We got married within 5 months, got pregnant 2 months after that, had the baby, got pregnant AGAIN 3 months after giving birth and now I have 4 kids, a dead end job, no college education (which you need in this day and age). I'm telling ya from one girl to another, PLEASE focus on your school and friends right now. If you do happen to get a boyfriend, don't let him derail you from what's important. And that is your education and yourself!

I know this is the LAST thing that you want to hear right now, but you are young and have a full life ahead of you. Pursue your dreams always and forever, the sky's the limit!