Relationships Community
Filing for Divorce and Seeing Someone Else
About This Community:

This patient support community is for discussions relating to relationships, abstinence, arousal problems, birth control, cohabitation, commitment, communication, couples counseling, desire, sexual technique, and sexually transmitted diseases (STDs).

Font Size:
A
A
A
Background:
Blank
Blank
Blank
Blank Blank

Filing for Divorce and Seeing Someone Else

I have previously posted under the question of whether I should separate from my husband.  Well l I did and he will be served divorce papers in two weeks.  I have a further complicating issue now.  I started seeing someone shortly after hiring my lawyer (basically shortly after my decision to divorce.) It was not at all planned and it is a friend I knew long ago who suddenly came back into my life.  We are great together, when we have time to see each other.  We both have other priorities though- me with sorting out my divorce and taking care of my son, he has a ten year old son and is finishing his master's degree.  Back 14 years ago we had an intense connection but it was never physical.  Even though we are older (Im 30, hes 31) that spark is still strongly there. We are trying to keep it in perspective and not get too serous right now for obvious reasons.  We are also trying to be very discreet when we see each other.  And its not just a physical relationship.  We have deep conversations, do fun things together,  and help each other out when we can. The thing is, I'm trying to keep it a secret because of my soon to be ex-husband.  He is extremely jealous and continually questions me about what I'm doing and who I spend time with.  Whenever we discuss custody arrangements for our son, he turns it around and ends up asking me if I've been seeing other men.  He says he has ways of finding things out so don't lie to him.  This creeps me out, but mostly I worry that this will come out in the divorce and I'm wondering if it can be used against me.  As I said before, the relationship didn't start until we were separated and I had hired divorce attorneys.  Any advice.  Also, I really care for this other man and the timing seriously *****.  I would like to give the relationship a chance but it seems far fetched in this situation- I don't want to loose him though.
Related Discussions
6 Comments Post a Comment
Blank
684030_tn?1357024374
The timing to start dating anyone now, is awful... but, you know that.
It gives the perception that you've been cheating and are now dumping your husband
for this other man. Of course, it's not true... but, others, especially your husband, will think otherwise. If your soon-to-be ex is of the vindictive and hateful sort then he will most likely use the news of your involvement with this man to smear you and make you look bad in the eyes of family; friends; divorce lawyers; and, your child.
Now, if you don't care what people think; then continue seeing this man. But, it could come at a price... like your reputation.
I suggest that you put things on hold with this other man; or, at least, slow things down, considerably.
Since you've known this other man for a long time, waiting a little longer to start dating could do no harm. Keep daily contact with him; but, don't go out with him. Then, when the dust from the divorce is settled... pursue a relationship. Good luck.
Blank
303824_tn?1294875001
I am pretty sure that it can be used against you in a divorce, but I can't say 100%. In Texas, if a spouse cheats, the other is entitled to 90% of assets in a divorce. Granted you started seeing someone after you split up, but you are still legally married. You may want to talk to your attorney, or call another one to ask just in case.

Blank
Avatar_f_tn
divorce seems to be on most people mind nowdays and not saving the marriage, i wonder whet happened to the people that used to get nmarried for love i have started a new journal about marriage and dreams ect since you have already decided there is nothing to say, except the spark does not last forever another kind of love takes its place as time goes by  luck  jo
Blank
686059_tn?1293837427
Yes he can use it against you and you waisted no time in moving on. Doesn't make you look good.
Blank
145992_tn?1341348674
Didn't you post about this before and got some pretty strong answers.  Focus on the divorce and moving forward with your life before jumping into another relationship.
Blank
Avatar_m_tn
My ex-wife and I separated to "work on the marriage" and within 30 days she was sleeping with someone else.

If anything else, it appears sleazy.
Blank
Post a Comment
To
Blank
Weight Tracker
Weight Tracker
Start Tracking Now
Relationships Community Resources
RSS Expert Activity
242532_tn?1269553979
Blank
The 3 Essentials to Ending Emotiona...
Sep 18 by Roger Gould, M.D.Blank
242532_tn?1269553979
Blank
Control Emotional Eating with this ...
Sep 04 by Roger Gould, M.D.Blank
242532_tn?1269553979
Blank
Emotional Eating Control: How to St...
Aug 28 by Roger Gould, M.D.Blank
Top Relationships Answerers
1268057_tn?1399131913
Blank
Londres70
France
13167_tn?1327197724
Blank
RockRose
Austin, TX
973741_tn?1342346373
Blank
specialmom
Avatar_f_tn
Blank
TTinKKerBBell
CA
3149845_tn?1386354841
Blank
Life360
fort lauderdale, FL
Avatar_f_tn
Blank
thatquietgirl
CA