Getting plagued by my wife's intuitive behaviour

[now31]

hello there,

I am married since last 7 years and my wife is freaking me out with her intuitive behaviour. She has this habit, which she keep on using in her daily life to predict everything and believes her to be always correct. Rather believes that if she has predicted something, it will always come true (which is not the fact). And because of this she starts making illusions and starts following them. It is manageable with her intuitions, until she start hitting me with those. The worst one, which I am going through and which is my key topic of this post is that she thinks I have an affair and now whatever I do (such as making phone call, receiving phone call, checking my mails, going to office, doing any shopping, opening any website I mean any) she relates it to mine having an affair. Just to mention, that I have a totally different personality for this trait. I work on facts and do not start changing my actions and behavior just by intuiting something. So I always try to prove myself with a fact such as for phone call to prove with a directory that the number belongs to whom, for shopping to prove with the price tags that the dress costed this much and it is a male dress and I wear that and if I browsed a website where did I reference of that website so on so forth. The fact about my affair is that I do not have any affair and I did not have any after I met her and had one with her. And everything about my past life, I mean the life when I had not met my wife, I have shared each and everything truth, nothing but the truth. And the truth is that in my life before meeting my wife I only had one affair lasting 6 months in my 12th standard in school. In college, I liked a girl but she refused and it never turned out be an affair. So my history itself speaks that I am a loyal kind of a person and does not want to indulge myself into any such thing which ruins my married life. But now her behavior is driving me nuts. She wakes me up at 4.00 in the morning to tell that she had a dream I am having an affair with the girl who refused in college and then she spends hours on facebook and other social sites to dig her personal life. I do not have much time for being active on my facebook or other social sites, but she believe that I have many other account on these with some other names and I am in continuous touch with so called my girlfriend. Now again a cycle is initiated to prove by showing my internet history or file history that I did not even logged into these sites. She has recently got VNC service installed on my machine, just to check that from other room that what I am doing on internet. I have option to work from home so that I always remain in front of her eyes, but my little one (2 yrs) does not let me work when I am home, so I prefer to go to office but comes back in the evening and my wife goes to gym in the evening. I always encourage her to go to gym because she lives in a depression that she is fat looking, whereas she is not bad looking. But now how she takes my encouragement is that I just want to kick her out in the evening so that I could call my gf at home. ********. If I add a new word or phrase in my vocabulary, she thinks that I have learnt it from gf because in her eyes I am fool enough to learn myself. If by chance she sees this post and comes to know its mine, her first question will be that where did you get the word 'Plagued', you never used it before in your life. bloody hell. I haven't used "bloody hell" phrase also.

Please suggest what should I do. She herself wants to see a consular, psychiatrist but I know that she is going to fail them because both of them will not give her facts to prove that I do not have an affair. At times she also feels that she is wrong and I do not have an affair. But that feeling does not last more than a day. I am getting harassed and pissed off by her behavior. Please suggest what should I do. I am happy to hear that where I am wrong.

thanks.

[Judy246]

Her insecurities and jelousy can be destructive to the marriage. I see many issues with her. Here are some:

* Somewhere trust was broken and she is struggling with trusting
  you again.
* Women do have a six sense that they listen to, but not to
  the point where she is going to psyco analyze everything.
* She fears losing you, because she feels ugly, over weight, not
  good enough, fear that you will leave her for another....fear is
  not letting her think clearly and jelousy can potentially be dangerour
  if she becomes obsessed.

Communication and trust is the foundation of a relationship, so I recommend that you find the right time to "discuss" your concerns over her mental and emotional state and that you are willing to seek counseling and accompany her if necessary and tell her that if this unfounded behavior continues, it will destroy the relationship and that you don't want that.  Tell her that if she doesn't seek treatment that you will find yourself in a position to re-evaluate the marriage, because it is has become disfunctional and you don't want to live this way. Reassure her that you are faithful and love her, but that these unfounded accusations are reaching a point where if she doesn't seek treatment and counseling immediately, you will leave.   I wish you luck in this difficult situation....Judy

[jo929]

it would appear that your wife needs help, maybe she has something wrong with her, stand up for yourself and tell her to go get help that she is imagining these things and they are not true if you just argues with her it will do no good be firm  luck  jo