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Lost sexual desires
Within the past month and a half or so my boyfriend and I have completely declined in the amount of sex we have or even just the amount of desire to even talk about it. We used to do crazy kinky things And now I could be with him for four days straight and bArely do so much as kiss him or touch him. I know he wants to do these things but I just don't want to with HIM anymore. I do with my ex... Could this mean a deeper problem? What should I do And how do I confront him about it?
COMMUNITY LEADER
I just read your below post about being hot for a guy in the marines that you talk to every day. Ugh. Do your boyfriend a favor and break up with him. You are in limbo and just having a warm body doesn't make it right to hang onto someone. good luck
COMMUNITY LEADER
Hi, welcome to med help. Well a couple of things. First is just to change a word you wrote. "Confront" him about it is a lot different than talk about it. You just want to sort this out, not confront, right?
Naturally all relationships change over time. Sex starts off hot and heavy and after time, we become more familiar with our partner and that newness dies down. Doesn't mean you don't still enjoy intimacy with your partner but it is a more comfortablle, loving type of thing verses what it is like in the very begining. That is pretty normal and almost everyone faces that at some point after being together for a while. It's called "phase two", right?
But see, then you throw in that you think about sex with your ex instead of your boyfriend. That is a problem. You may be bored with your guy now, have other issues and your desire for him shows it (often intimacy issues are the symptom of other problems), etc. Do you think that could be the case?
Or you could be stressed, depressed, etc. All will have an effect on your libido.
So, I don't know. I think I'd leave out that you don't really feel like having sex wtih your partner when you talk to him or that you picture yourself instead doing kinkiy things with your ex--------- but just talk about the general state of your relationship and that you are going to work on feeling more sexual as you've kind of lapsed lately. He might not love hearing this. Prepare yourself. good luck
Naturally all relationships change over time. Sex starts off hot and heavy and after time, we become more familiar with our partner and that newness dies down. Doesn't mean you don't still enjoy intimacy with your partner but it is a more comfortablle, loving type of thing verses what it is like in the very begining. That is pretty normal and almost everyone faces that at some point after being together for a while. It's called "phase two", right?
But see, then you throw in that you think about sex with your ex instead of your boyfriend. That is a problem. You may be bored with your guy now, have other issues and your desire for him shows it (often intimacy issues are the symptom of other problems), etc. Do you think that could be the case?
Or you could be stressed, depressed, etc. All will have an effect on your libido.
So, I don't know. I think I'd leave out that you don't really feel like having sex wtih your partner when you talk to him or that you picture yourself instead doing kinkiy things with your ex--------- but just talk about the general state of your relationship and that you are going to work on feeling more sexual as you've kind of lapsed lately. He might not love hearing this. Prepare yourself. good luck
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