Is it time to let go or hold on to hope?

[GaGirl98]

I have been divorced for 2 1/2 years. We divorced for many reasons but could have worked it out if I hadn't gave up due to frustrations and listening to other people. The whole time we have been divorced we talked about working things out but easily got frustrated with each other. We have 2 great boys and they constantly want to know when does dad get to come home and lately I have become so overwhelmed that I wonder the same thing myself. However, I met someone and have been dating him for 1 1/2 years. He had to move and we see each other very seldomly but he gave me a ring before he left. I have been very torn since. Over the Christmas break I had a really hard time because I realized that I really do need his help and I want it. But then he called a few days later and told me that he had been dating someone and that he had moved on. Of course my feelings went crazy and now my question is are my feelings real or is it because I was lonely and got jealous. I had been feeling this way for well over a month before I found out he was dating. I haven't told anyone my feelings or my concerns.

[specialmom]

Well, you accepted a ring from another man . . . who probably believed you had moved on as well.  You will always be connected to your x because of your sons but he has decided to move on.  That is most likely a healthy choice.  You have a boyfriend, right?  If you wanted to be with your X it would have happened prior to him finding someone else.  Just my opinion, but your X may get mad now if you try to interfere when HE has finally decided to date someone and is starting to have feelings for them.  Good luck

[mami1323]

I don't think anyone can really answer that for you.  Sometimes its hard to see our ex's move on to other people, whether we want them or not.  I know that when I broke up with my ex because he didn't want a commitment and left him for my current fiance, he was hurt.  But he knew I was dating someone else so it wasn't a surprise to him.  He had left a gift that I had given him at my house and so I called him to see if he wanted it back.  He told me he was on vacation in Florida and hung up on me.  So I called him back and he put a girl on the phone to answer.  Well it made me so mad.  I was already falling for my fiance but knowing that my ex was messing around still hurt me.  Not that I expected him not to move on, but that I didn't exactly need it thrown in my face.  It hurt me even though I had moved on, I still cared for him and even though I broke it off with him because he wasn't meeting my needs, didn't take those feelings away.  But in a way, it sort of helped me to move forward with my new relationship.  It showed me that it wasn't going to work out with me and my ex and he really wasn't worth the heartache.  Your ex is your ex for a reason, you had 2 1/2 years to try and work it out and it never happened.  Perhaps it wasn't meant to happen.  If you both wanted it to, you could've gone to counseling.  I have a question for you, if your current boyfriend was closer to you and you were together more often, would you even think of your ex husband?  If you went to your husband and said you were sorry and would it be too late to make it work, would it be something that you really wanted to do?  You have to look inside yourself and figure out what your true feelings are.  If he has moved on, than you need to as well.