I am 50, husband is 56. We've been married 13 yrs. I have a 29yr. Old daughter, he has 2 daughters 21& 28. They do not live with us. We also have 4 cats, 3 dogs. My husband works mon.-fri. I do not work right now. Cancer survivor & also a lot of medical problems. Anyway, financially we're okay. My husband wants me home mon.-fri. When he gets home from work, on weekends he wants it to be only about him & I. No family, no friends on weekends or while he is home. He comes home through the week showers, eats & goes to bed @ 9:00. He doesn't want to discuss anything, spend time with me etc. I try & understand he is tired. Our sex life is satisfying him! I try & interact with him. He just wants to watch tv. On weekends when we do things it HAS to be about what were doing wether I enjoy it or not. He doesn't make it about us at all. If I don't want to do something he gets angry & either threatens to leave me or bullies me! He gets angry if his kids or anyone wants to come over. I have no friends & when I do hang with my family he never wants to go. Despite what he wants I do see my family once in awhile. He always says he wants things between him & I. Even if we're not doing anything! He acts like he hates people. I keep a clean house despite the animals. It is a lot of work, I cook, I take care of everything. He feels he works & on weekends he only wants it to be me & him. We argue a lot because I don't let him get away with his behavior but so over arguing!! I hardly spend any money. I shop at garage sales, I don't go out during the day for lunch, pampering myself in anyway! I'm okay with that. My problem is & I want to interact wirh people, family etc. on weekends, through the week whenever. I have no friends because they don't like him, my family try's & he treats them like he is better then them., he constantly complains about money, he takes complete advantage of me & says you know I love you! His idea of showing me love is all about what were doing! We go to dinner try small talk anything. He is soo boring!!
He try's & demand I do something with him & when we do it's all about him because he has to go back to work on Monday. We don't go to bars, bowling, movies. Basically our to eat, he comes home watches tv & goes to bed! Bottom line is he feels he does nothing wrong! I am depressed & i am always trying to get him to relax & open up! He leads with his head & not his heart. I am a very giving person. This past weekend his daughter wanted to come over & bring the kids to hang out, go swimming etc. I told her I would check with her dad. He got so angry!! He said AGAIN he wanted it to be him & I. He said if you don't want to do anything with me I'll go by myself.
I didn't go with him with his bullying behavior. He went to his friends mike, they went & played pool & out to eat. I stayed home. He gets home & again says I can't do this anymore & I want someone who just wants to be with me! I'm soo over this! I don't get him at all. Im tired of his bullying & controlling ways! The sad part is he never, ever says he is sorry & feels he does nothing wrong! I have tryed everything! He says he is comfortable, I tell him I'm not! Just because he works he feels I should do everything!!
I know.. Leave him. I want us to work but he says it's me nor him. Basically if I live by his rules we would be happy! Nor going to do it. How can I get him to lighten up??