This hurt me to my soul...and I feel drained

[TheWrongOne]

Hello you all.

This incident only happened 10 minutes ago.. I have been dating this guy for about 5months. In our relationship we have gotten to know each other very well. I love and adore him, and of course everyone has differences. Other than a few we are a bit alike in our personalities and such.

   Recently he received 2 (3month old) puppies from his neighbor, A girl called JADE and a boy he calls BULL. They are both very sweet (they are both Rotts) Jade got sick and began throwing up and eventually she died with something called; Clarvo?

I am probably spelling it completely wrong but it was due to the fact that her previous owner had not gotten her all her shots? something to that effect.

So recently TODAY BULL has the SAME thing, and will probably pass. He has only had this DOG for about 2 or 3weeks. So he had time to get attached to him. I do understand his love and compassion for BULL. I really don't want to come off as ***** when I say this.

He was obviously upset saying ,"Bull expected me to take care of him." and I was like ,;'You did the best you could. It's okay baby. We can get another dog and See bull out." I was trying to kind hearted I'm not mean.

and then he said.

"That's like me saying.. I know your son died we can get you another son."

and I got quiet.. Ive never had a son or a DOG and as much as I love animals I do not put a humans life over a dogs.. I am sorry. but I do not... it's not the fact so much of that...its the fact that he actually said that.. it hurt my core..

I'm not sure what else to add, or what im asking?

Opinons Please???
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Sorry for mistakes

[Chima7]

I can relate to your bf's loss completely. I know the feeling all too well of having a pet who is sick and not being able to help them. For a person who takes their responsibility of owning a pet seriously, as it sounds like your bf is, it's so hard to deal with this kind of news.

You probably have grown up without pets, I'm guessing? For someone who never experienced the bond that a human can have with a pet, it's really hard to explain. Unlike with other human relationships, pets love their owners unconditionally and they are there for them always. They never disappoint and they are always happy to see their human walking in the door. The attachment people feel to their pets is something that a non pet owner can't ever understand.

Instead of getting upset with him about this, you should be happy that you found a guy who has such an unlimited capacity to love his pets. That's a pretty clear sign that he is a good guy because its the selfish bad guys who hate animals and aren't capable of feeling sympathy for them. He said what he said to you because he is upset and scared about what is happening to his beloved dogs. I totally get that. I think you should tell him that you don't have experience with let's so its hard for you to understand how he is feeling but that you're sorry that all of this is happening cause it must be really hard for him. I'm sure he will appreciate it when you explain your perspective.

[RockRose]

TheWrongOne,  I think you are seeing this COMPLETELY backwards.

Why did that "hurt you to your soul" that your boyfriend is in terrible pain about the loss of one and probably both of his dear puppies?  Why in the world would you use that kind of language?

I would say,  it "hurt HIM to his soul" when you said oh well don't worry you can always get another puppy.  That's really,  really a hurtful thing to say - and people who lose children and animal friends both get really hurt at that statement.  Don't worry,  you can get pregnant again.  Sorry I lost your dog,  I'll pay for another.  

It really undercuts the profound sadness people feel for their lost babies and their lost animal friends.  I am a mom and a dog lover,  and I can tell you it would put me in the grave to lose one of my children and I can recover quickly from the sad losses of my dogs - but it would still make me really angry if someone said it's okay,  we can get another one.  

I believe you when you say you were trying to be kind hearted.  People are trying to be kind hearted when they tell distraught grieving parents don't worry you can get pregnant again.  

They just have no idea - none - what a complete slap in the face that is.

Your boyfriend is in agony at the loss of this dear sweet baby dog,  and now you're mad at him for his word choice.  

This is why couples break up after a loss.  One is grieving profoundly and the other says cruel things that under cut the grief.

Go give him a hug,  tell him you're sad about both Bull and Jade,  and let him grieve.

BTW,  it's Parvo.  And you won't be able to have another puppy on the property for about 10 years that's not vaccinated,  because Parvo hangs on forever and is extremely contagious.  Any other unvaxed pup he brings to the house will also probably die.

[Life360_Dave]

Hi and welcome. Your boyfriend has been endowed with one of the greatest gifts that the Universe has allowed and that being the gift of empathy. This is the ability to understand the being of another weather it be human, animal or plant life. He has the awareness that all of Gods creation wants to live. he has taken on the sorry of the Jade and Bull.
You should be proud of him as this is the making of a tuely good soul.